Have you ever worn shackles to bed at night? If so, then you know just how loud the clink of metal against metal is in the silence of the middle of the night... It's LOUD! Every time you turn over or adjust your position even the slightest bit, your movement is betrayed by a humiliating metallic clank, reminding you of your helplessness.
S. decided last night, once he was done playing with me, that he would leave the ankle restraints on and connect them tightly to one another, leaving me with conjoined feet for the duration of the night (with only a couple inches play between my two ankles). This was a first for me: I've never slept in restraints before and it was a very weird sensation to settle down for the night, knowing I couldn't move easily, let alone get out of bed and go anywhere.
As usual, my overactive imagination went into overdrive the minute I heard the clink of the cuffs being secured together: What if there was a fire? What if I got a leg cramp? What if I forgot and tried to get up in the night and fell flat on my face? What if the cuffs caused me to develop a blood clot? And, worst of all, what if I had to pee???!!!!
I voiced this last concern aloud, and S. smirked at me for a moment before telling me that I would have to wake him up and request to use the bathroom, and then it would depend on his mood and that he might be generous and release me from the restraints, or else if he wanted some amusement, he would make me crawl and test out his new camera by taking pictures of my humiliating trip to the bathroom. Gah...that last idea made me scowl and growl under my breath. Sadly, my reaction, just made S. smirk all the more.
I fell asleep quickly despite the shackles, because I was tired, but awoke as soon as I attempted to shift positions: The combination of the pressure against my ankles as I tried to move, and the loud clink of metal against metal was enough to wake me up and remind me of my predicament. I immediately scowled because the sound had clearly awakened S. too: I could hear him snickering beside me. Grrr.
This pattern continued throughout the night: I would doze off for a while, until I attempted to adjust my position, and would then be jolted awake each time by the inability to freely move my legs, and the sound of metal, loud against the silence of the night. After the third or fourth time I woke up, I became aware of a new and most unwelcome sensation: A need to urinate. I spent some time, lying there, trying to figure out whether I could wait it out till morning, wondering whether S. would be generous and release me to walk to the bathroom on two feet, and considering releasing the ankle restraints and sneaking out of bed without waking him.
I quickly dismissed the latter: I knew that S. would probably wake up and that deliberately defying him would probably result in a particularly unpleasant punishment. So I grit my teeth and woke him up: "I have to go pee..." my voice sounded small and plaintive in the darkness. I could hear S. snicker in response as he considered my request. I held my breath, wondering what he would do, dreading the thought of attempting to crawl with my ankles shackled together. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, S. bent down and released my ankles. "Thank you!!!" I breathed as I rushed out of bed before he could change his mind. I've never quite appreciated the ability to walk on my own two feet to go relieve myself quite so much as I did right at that moment.
Once I returned to bed, S. immediately refastened my ankles to one another and I tried tried to sort through the odd mix of resentment and gratitude I was feeling toward him. I never say the evil M... word aloud unless he absolutely forces it out of me (which usually involves a LOT of pain to get me to give in and voice it) but what was going through my head was something like this: "I'm lucky I have a generous Master. Ewww...Master...I HATE that word. Grrr. I refuse to call him that! But I am grateful. But wait, why am I grateful?! He's the one who tied me up in the first place! Dammit, I clink every time I move. This is all his fault! But it was awfully nice of him, to let me walk to the bathroom. Gah...I always walk to the bathroom! Why should I be grateful? Oh god, I'm so confused!!!" Finally, giving up on figuring out my own confused thoughts, I dozed off once more, secure in both his arms and the shackles.
In the morning, when I woke up, I realized that I had been having a series of extremely erotic dreams that included shackles, whips, and many other things. Also, my ankles ached as if I had been unconsciously tugging against the restraints all night long. I was very grateful when S. permitted the cuffs to be removed at long last!!! They made for quite an interesting night...
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