Of Collars & Leashes

It had been quite some time since S had decided to use a collar and leash on me. I sort of have a fear of collars because anything that could cut off my breathing is scary to me. But S has always been very understanding and makes quite sure that the collar isn't too tight and that I'm feeling okay, so I've been able to tolerate it.

So, the other night, I had admitted to S that I missed him face fucking me. It was a complete surprise to me when he first tried it to find out that I actually really enjoyed it! I had always thought I would hate anything like that but there is something about it that just completely arouses me.

I guess S decided to combine breaking out the collar and leash again with that idea because the very same day after he made me cum FIVE times, I wound up on the bed, blindfolded again. I heard the usual sounds of metal against metal as he sorted through the toy box, and wondered what he would come up with this time. To my surprise, I felt his hands and the coolness of a leather collar being placed around my throat. After my experience earlier that day, I was already pretty worn out and all thoughts of resistance had been eliminated. So I submissively bowed my head, so he could fasten the buckle around my neck. (I'm often quite feisty, in fact earlier that week, I had earned myself some very rough treatment which I'm still suffering from. But that's another story).

S fastened the buckle and then slipped his fingers underneath the collar, judging the tightness. He asked me several times, if it felt okay, and I moved my head left and right and nodded that it wasn't too tight. Once S had determined that the collar wasn't hurting me in any way, he became all business, and clipped the leash onto it. Immediately, I felt a sharp tug: "Down!" he commanded.

I followed the direction of the tug, and felt my way down off the bed. Hesitantly, I moved forward, obeying more tugging. I knew I wasn't going to run into anything, but I still felt very vulnerable. S led me to the foot of the bed and then commanded me to kneel. I complied, and then he told me to open my mouth. I opened it hesitantly, just a little, but S soon made me open up all the way as he shoved his cock into my mouth.

He proceeded to face fuck me, alternately using his hands around my pony tail to pull me forward and back, and tugging on the leash, to force me closer to him. At first, I was disoriented by the blindfold, the collar, the feel of the cold bare floor against my knees, and my head being pulled back and forth. I tried to breathe in between thrusts.

Then I started to get into it, and reached up, feeling S's legs until I had my hands around his hips so I could better judge distance and depth. I started to use my tongue and sucked on his head when he wasn't pulling me back and forth with the leash or by the hair. I heard him start to moan. Then, just when I thought he would surely cum, S commanded me down on my hands and knees, and I felt him move behind me. Within seconds, my already swollen areas were being penetrated and I focused on trying to brace myself against the floor as he pounded from behind. The sensation was crazy, as swollen as I was, and the collar and leash had already sent me into subspace even before S had put his cock in my mouth. I came very quickly and then panted and moaned until he was done.

One heck of an end to an already wild day! :)

Sadistic Games

Sometimes I wonder where in the world S comes up with these ideas! He never ceases to amaze me with the incredibly twisted scenarios he comes up with!!! As I sit here writing this, my left wrist is sprained, my knees are killing me, my hips ache and my neck is super stiff, oh and my ass hurts (what else is new? Since S. moved in, my ass hurts about 90 percent of the time. He sure does love his whips!)... all courtesy of the new game S. came up with to play with me last night.

So, where to begin? If you've been reading my blog, you know that last week, after S punished me for mouthing off to him about our sex life, he promised me a grueling game on Sunday and gave me a preview of it as a part of the punishment. But when we came back from camping on Sunday, we were both exhausted and nothing happened. We went merrily about our week and I figured he had forgotten all about it. Unfortunately for me, S. rarely forgets his promises...

So, last night, I was happily curled up in the tub with a book when S. cracked the door open and told me that the game was ready for me and that I should let him know as soon as my bath was done. Then he grinned wickedly and shut the door, while I stared after him with an open mouth. Dammit! I hadn't been expecting that at all! And I was kind of in the mood to just snuggle. But sadly, I don't get to make the choices about when we snuggle and when I have to play one of his sadistic games. Needless, to say, I spent the rest of my bath worrying about what was going to happen to me, instead of relaxing!

Finally, I gave up, and got out of the tub and dried off. I stood there, holding my towel around me for a minute, wondering if I should dress, but I figured S. would just immediately order me to undress again anyway, so there was no point. Timidly, clutching my towel, I opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway. I called out: "I'm done with my bath!"

"Good!" S. replied from the bedroom and ordered me to return to the bathroom and wait. I complied, and stood there, holding my towel tightly against me for comfort and protection. Before long, S. joined me in the bathroom and immediately blindfolded me, then left the room again. I clutched my towel tighter, and backed up a step or two, feeling very vulnerable. I soon heard his footsteps returning and then he commanded me to open my mouth. I did as he said, and felt the bit gag being inserted. He tightened it around the back of my neck and I bit down softly against the now familiar rubber bit, wondering what would come next. I didn't have long to wait, because I almost immediately felt the collar being fastened around my neck and then the click of the leash being attached to it.Gah... I always find being leashed particularly humiliating. Being led around like a dog just galls me.

"Get down!" S. commanded, with a tug on the leash. I hesitated for a moment and then dropped my towel, knowing I couldn't keep it around me while crawling on all fours. S. tugged again to encourage me to speed up and I got down on my hands and knees. S. told me to follow him and led me out of the bathroom, tugging the leash to urge me forward. Now this may sound stupid because I've lived here for ten years and I know the house very well but whenever I'm blindfolded, I seem to lose all my sense of orientation, so I have to feel my way forward, and am in constant fear of hitting a doorjamb or a wall or something. I can't explain it exactly, I think it's because I'm in such a vulnerable position, I'm not able to maintain a good grip on where I am in space while S. has me tied or on a leash. So I always seem to move slower than he would like, and become especially hesitant when approaching doorways. Of course, this always seems to make S. impatient and often results in being forcibly pulled forward by the leash or else being whipped until I increase my speed.

Anyway, after some hesitation, I made it through the doorway and into the hallway. S. then ordered me to stay put and explained the rules of the game to me:

"I've hidden a carabiner somewhere on the floor in each of three rooms: The hallway, the living room, and the bedroom. You will need to find the carabiner in each room. I'm going to insert ice into your pussy and it will serve as a countdown device. If you find the carabiner before the ice melts, then I will give you a hint about where the next one is hidden. If you don't find it in time, you will be whipped 10 times on each ass cheek before attempting the next room."

I groaned inarticulately in response. "What's the matter, slave?" S. taunted me. He seems to enjoy asking me questions when I'm gagged and can't respond. Grrr. I just shook my head and tried to steel myself for what was to come. I heard S. move behind me and I immediately tightened my legs together, dreading the freezing/burning sensation of the ice in such a sensitive area. S smacked me on the ass and said: "You better let me put the ice in: It's already melting! Time is running out!" Arrrgh! I hung my head and complied and within seconds, the painful sensation of ice directly against my clit had me gasping. Once S. was satisfied it was in place, he picked up the leash and urged me forward to start the game.

Groaning, I moved forward gingerly each movement grinding the ice in deeper and causing rivulets of melted water to drip down my inner thighs. Goosebumps broke out across my body. I swept my hands across the floor in front of me as I moved, using touch to search for the hidden carabiner. I felt all along the carpet, crawled across the hardwood floor, explored the doorways, tried to search behind the big basket that sits there, but nothing. By now, I was getting desperate: The ice was melting fast and I was in pain both from that and from the pressure on my knees as I moved repeatedly across the floor. I held out both hands helplessly, to signify that I couldn't find it.

"Keep hunting!" S. ordered me and yanked on the leash, forcing me back to all fours. I groaned and, in a desperate last attempt, ran my hand over the shoes that sit by the door. To my immense gratitude, I heard a sudden clink, and I frantically felt around the floor, until my fingers encountered metal at last. I closed my hand around it and held it up to show I had found it! S. checked the ice and there was still a sliver left! Thank god, I thought! I had narrowly avoided a whipping! S informed me that I would be given 3 minutes to rest between rooms, so I should take advantage of it. I eased myself off my aching knees and sat on my bottom, panting, and trying to prepare myself for the next room.

After what seemed like only 30 seconds, S. tugged on the leash, and forced me back to all fours. He led me to the living room and had me stop at the entrance. "There's something I haven't mentioned yet," he said with a sadistic smile in his voice, and I cringed, wondering what new twist was coming: "Each time you find a carabiner, it will be added to your body for the next room." I groaned, realizing what he had in mind. And, sure enough, within less than a minute, he had put the ankle cuffs on me and used the carabiner I had just found to shackle my ankles together. leaving only a couple of inches of space between them. This new complication would make it much more difficult for me to move with any speed and would make finding the next carabiner in the large space of the living room a lot more challenging.

"What's the matter, slave?" S taunted me. "The game would be boring if the difficulty didn't increase with each new level!" I shook my head mutely in disagreement, thinking to myself that the game was most certainly NOT boring for me: Searching for a small item in a large space while blindfolded, gagged and leashed, with ice in my pussy was quite exciting enough without adding shackles to the menu!!! But of course, my opinion doesn't matter, and so, I resigned myself to shuffling forward, pulling my chained ankles behind me.

S moved behind me again and I tried to prepare myself for the feeling of ice once more on my already sore pussy, but instead, I felt the vibrator being inserted deep inside me and turned on. I gasped at the sensation, and tried to adjust my position so it wasn't so distracting. S just pushed it in deeper and then added the ice cube so it sat right against my clit. "Uhhhhhhhhh" I moaned, arching my back. "Time to play!" S laughed at me and I felt the whip against my ass. My head whirling, I obediently moved forward, tentatively feeling ahead of and around me as I dragged my shackled ankles behind me. Each movement made the vibrator's distraction more intense and the cold water from the melting ice dripped down my legs once more. I was sweating from the stress and exertion, but I also had goosebumps from the freezing ice. I tried to speed up, afraid of the pain of the whip if I didn't find the carabiner in time, and my breath came in frantic gasps.

I moved across the entire living room in this way, without finding anything. Had I missed it? My head whirled. I was having a very difficult time focusing. By now my breaths were accompanied by desperate whimpers. I kept moving, knowing I probably had less than a minute left before the ice was completely gone. I rounded the coffee table and pivoted on already painful knees, and THERE! My hand encountered metal near the foot of the couch. I snatched it and held it up, shaking and whimpering.

S. praised me and verified that there was indeed a small sliver of ice left. "Good girl!" he said: "Now for the last room!"

Groaning in pain and exhaustion, I slowly crawled after him, trying to avoid putting pressure on the most painful areas of my knees, and favoring my left wrist which somehow had gotten sprained during one of our sessions last week and was now aching badly. My shackled ankles made moving at any speed difficult and so I crawled along slowly and painfully, until I finally reached the bedroom.

As I had feared, S informed me that the second carabiner would now be added to my body. I moaned loudly and shook my head vehemently. How in the world was I supposed to search the bedroom with BOTH my hands and feet bound together!!!??? But S. ignored my complaints, and got the wrist cuffs out. I pulled away several times when he was attempting to buckle them on, fighting him, and he yanked me sharply back into place, ordering me to be still. I was desperate by now, so I continued to resist, but to no avail: He's stronger than I am to start with and I was already exhausted, and I was soon on all fours once more with less than two inches of play between either my wrists or ankles. I wobbled there uncertainly, moaning softly to myself. How in the world was I supposed to search the room like this???

S. moved behind me and pushed the vibrator in more deeply, making me groan, and then I heard the telltale sound of a tube of lube being opened. I moaned loudly and shook my head again. I knew what was coming. Sure enough, I soon felt S's finger deep in my ass, lubing me up. I groaned, shook my head, and tried to pull away, but to no avail. God, I HATE that sensation. (S. has decided I'm to be trained again for anal use, so he's been using the hated plugs on me daily. Have I mentioned how much I HATE it??? ARGH!) I tried to steel my butt cheeks as a defense but couldn't keep it up for long. So, all too soon, the butt plug was deep inside me, and I writhed, hating the feeling of it invading my most private space. S. left to go wash his hands and then returned, and added the last piece of ice, making me shudder and cry out through the gag. I was very close to being spent. "Start searching!" he commanded and I tried desperately to comply, just wanting it to be over.

The bedroom isn't that big, but with both my wrists and ankles shackled, moving forward became an ordeal, and I had to stop and search each area slowly because I could no longer sweep my hands out in front of and around me: All I could manage was to search the floor area just in front of me. I started for the desk area and slowly and painfully felt around there. "Since you found the other two carabiners, I'll give you a hint:" S told me: "It's not in this part of the room."

I groaned and painfully pivoted on my agonized knees, turning to head back the other way. At this point, I realized that the only good thing about the ice was that I had left a trail of melted water across the hardwood floor behind me as it dripped down my thighs and I was now able to slide my knees across the floor on the wet surface without having to try to crawl one painful inch at a time. This sped up my return to the other side of the room considerably.

But, just as I was starting to feel better, S. brought the whip down sharply across my bare ass cheeks and I jumped and yelped in pain. "Keep searching!" He said in a cheerful voice and whipped me again. I moaned and tried to move forward faster, desperately searching each small area I could reach at a time.

I continued across the floor like this: Blind, gagged, leashed, with wrists and ankles shackled, my pussy on fire, the vibrator deep inside me distracting me, the butt plug making me crazy with every movement, and with the sharp crack of the whip hounding me forward. Let me tell you: With all that going on, just breathing would be a challenge!!! Trying to find a tiny piece of metal in a big room, is madness!!! I was finding it nearly impossible to think straight: Up until now, I had followed a nice systematic search pattern, but I was so frantic by this point, I just swept desperately in front of me, unsure of where I was, or what area I was searching. I was simply desperate to find the carabiner no matter what and end the agony. S continued relentlessly to whip me every few seconds, making me jump and cry out, losing track of whether I had just searched the floor in front of me or not. I sobbed through the gag and moved forward frantically trying to locate the carabiner.

I felt like I was in some kind of a never ending nightmare by this point. I had no idea where in the room I was: For that matter, I wasn't even sure I was in the bedroom any more! Most of my attention was on my knees which were in complete agony and the rest was focused on my ass which S was whipping more and more frequently. I barely remembered to search the floor as I moved forward, sobbing and whimpering with every movement.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of agony, when I reached the far end of the room, my shaking fingers randomly encountered metal, and I snatched it from the floor, holding it aloft in weak triumph, my body sagging against the side of the bed. I was trembling and whimpering. Things got pretty fuzzy after that. I know S. removed the gag, collar and leash and unhooked my wrists and ankles. He also removed the vibrator and butt plug (I despise the feeling of it being pulled out, but after that, oh my god, what a blessed relief not to be penetrated there!) I don't remember exactly how, but the next thing I was aware of, I was on the bed and he was connecting each of my wrists to my ankles, leaving me with my bare ass high in the air and my head down against the mattress. I soon felt him move behind me and penetrate me, pounding on me from behind.

This position seems to get me to cum faster than any other, and I soon was gasping as my face and chest were shoved hard into the mattress with each stroke. S. grabbed my hair and forcibly pulled my head up and back, causing my back to arch, and I came, and then collapsed back against the mattress, utterly spent. S. finished and then removed the shackles and held my trembling body for a long time until I was able to speak once again.

And so ends the recounting of yet another of S's wild games. I hope you enjoyed it! :) He is truly amazingly creative!!!

Be careful what you wish for...

So yeah, last night, I got cranky...
And I paid for it in spades.

See, what happened is this: S and I are going on a camping trip with friends for the next few days and will be staying in their camper so there will be no way for us to play. And the night before last, S was feeling ill so we didn't play either. (Have I mentioned I have a ridiculously high sex drive for a girl? Sigh). So anyway, last night when we went to bed, S was thinking about other things and after being really horny all day, I got super frustrated that he wasn't going to play with me.

Being a girl, and a girl near her period, I got emotional and took it personally of course: I decided it was clearly because he finds me unattractive and undesirable. I was very put out and got under the sheets and curled up on the far edge of the bed. S knew immediately that something was wrong, and he badgered me until I finally complained: "Well we didn't play last night and we can't play the next two nights, and you don't want to play with me tonight. It's because I'm ugly." This exasperated him, but I continued to whine. He said we could play now but I said no, it was too late now, it was time to sleep.

I thought the discussion was over and was starting to fall asleep, until a few minutes later when S suddenly startled me by bouncing out of bed. I turned around to see what was going on, and heard him pulling the toy box out from under the bed. I sleepily asked him what in the world he was doing, but received no answer. "Don't be silly," I told him with a yawn. "Come back to bed!" Again, no response. "Please come back to bed!" The silence was getting to me.

"Turn on the light!" His voice was sharp and startled me. "No, please, just come back to bed. It's late!" I responded.

"I said: Turn. On. The. Light!" his voice was like ice in the darkness.

I froze. It's extremely rare for S to speak to me in that tone. Hearing it in the dark when I was half asleep made my heart pound and adrenaline start to rush through me. Tentatively, I began to extend my hand toward the light. But apparently not fast enough.

"NOW!" he snapped, making me jump. My hand shot out and I turned on the lamp, blinking in the sudden brightness.

Before I could adjust to the change of illumination, S was on the bed beside me. "Sit up!" the ice in his voice made a shiver run down my spine and I realized that I must have really pissed him off. I sat up, immediately and looked at what he had placed on the bed: I saw a collar, the leash and the bit gag. Uh oh, I thought to myself, I'm in trouble now.

S picked up the collar and placed it around my throat, pushing my head down roughly so he could fasten it in the back. My heart was pounding hard and I couldn't find my voice. So I just sat there and let him do it. The bit gag was next. When he put it up to my face, I hesitated.

"Open!!!" again, the sharpness of his command scared me and I immediately dropped my jaw open to comply. He roughly inserted the rubber bit in my mouth and then pushed my head down again to fasten it behind my neck. He then completed the process by snapping the leash onto my collar and used it to yank my head upwards, until I was only inches from his face. I stared at him in wide eyed silence, trying not to drool around the bit gag. "Are you going to keep crying about our sex life now?" he demanded. I dropped my eyes and mutely shook my head no. My heart was still pounding a mile a minute. What did he intend to do with me? I didn't have long to ponder that question, because the next thing I knew, S had placed the blindfold over my eyes, now leaving me blind and gagged. I chewed fretfully on the rubber bit, already trembling a bit by the feeling of sudden vulnerability being unable to see always brings.

In a flash, S was out of bed and yanking on the leash, forcing me to follow him. I did so, awkardly, feeling my way. As soon as my feet touched the ground, he pointed to the floor: "Down!" he commanded. This brought an inarticulate groan from my lips: crawling with bare knees across a wooden floor is always painful, not to mention humiliating. S punctuated his command with a downward jerk of the leash so I complied quickly: lowering myself to all fours, and feeling like a dog.

"Come!" S pulled hard on the leash, and I was forced to obey, moving gingerly over the unforgiving wooden floor. My slowness didn't please him, and I almost immediately felt the whip on my bare ass. "Faster!" he commanded. I struggled to obey, feeling my way with my hands as I went to be sure I didn't bump into anything. With my heart pounding and the rush of adrenaline going through me, I was already disoriented.

S brought me to a point about halfway through the bedroom and then told me to stop. He left the room for a a minute and I heard him rummaging through the freezer. Oh God, I thought to myself. I knew what was coming. Sure enough, as soon as he returned, I heard S move behind me and then almost immediately that incredible freezing burning sensation as he pushed the ice cube directly into my clit. I uttered a muffled groan, and arched my back, trying to move away from the pain. But S only pushed it in harder until it was firmly lodged there.

"Now", he stood up again. "This is going to give you a taste of what awaits you on Sunday when we get home. I am going to lead you from room to room on all fours and if I expect you to keep that ice in there. If I hear it hit the floor, then depending on which room you are in when it does, you can expect a different consequence."

WHAT? Christ, was he serious? I actually had to try to move forward and keep this hateful piece of ice inside me, while it became increasingly slippery and smaller with each passing second? Arrrrrrrrgh!!! The sensation of the whip against my ass once again convinced me that S really was serious and I awkwardly moved forward, trying desperately to keep my legs as close together as I possibly could and hold the burning ice inside my clit.

I slowly and painfully crawled through the bedroom, the hallway and into the living room like this, cringing each time I thought I might lose the ice. "I'm listening for that ice!" S kept reminding me. By the time I reached the living room, my knees were killing me, and I was shaking from trying to keep the painful sliver of ice in place. S brought me to a halt and checked, by pressing his fingers inside me to verify the ice was still there. "Good," he commented, as he pressed it more firmly against my clit, bringing a fresh wave of pain. He rubbed the remaining sliver up and down my clit and then inserted his now freezing fingers inside me, making me shudder and gasp. I could feel drool starting to run down my chin from the bit gag.

After teasing me with his fingers for a while, S. inserted a vibrating toy and turned it on high, and then left the room with a sharp: "Stay!" Like I was going anywhere. I started to tremble in earnest and tried to concentrate on not swaying as I tried to resist the thrumming inside me. But to no avail: Within seconds I had a first orgasm. I groaned and chewed fretfully at the bit, as my now overly sensitive areas continued to be stimulated by the relentless vibrator.

I heard S come back into the room and he immediately began to buckle the ankle and wrist cuffs on me, pausing from time to time to push the vibrator in even deeper. I panted and shook, drooling in earnest now. I sat back on my haunches to ease the pain on my hands and shoulders a bit. S.  immediately fastened each wrist to the corresponding ankle so I was powerless to move in any direction. He then sat in front of me and removed the bit gag. "How are you doing, slave?" he taunted me. I just panted in response, unable to speak. S then pushed my head downward. I resisted a bit, feeling the pull of my wrist shackles against my ankle cuffs as I was forced forward. "Down" he commanded, and then "Open!"

I now realized what was happening and complied, almost immediately feeling his cock enter my mouth. In this position, I had no way whatsoever to control any movement: I was now balanced precariously on my knees, with my ankles in the air behind me, my wrists helplessly connected to them. S grabbed me by the hair and forced my mouth up and down over his cock with increasing speed. I had no way to resist or control any of the movement, and concentrated on trying not to gag as he repeatedly forced his cock all the way to the back of my throat. My knees were screaming in protest and my wrists and ankles were already aching. I inhaled gasping breaths through my nose whenever I could. The vibrator continued to thrum on high deep inside me and the back and forth movements made it rub me in places it hadn't before. As if I didn't already have enough to cope with, I came again.

Finally, S seemed satisfied and he removed his cock from my mouth and let me collapse with my head against the floor, my wrists and ankles still bound together and my ass held forcibly high in the air. I heard him move behind me as I tried to regain my breath and then he removed the vibrator that had been tormenting me this entire time. I sighed in relief as the thrumming finally stopped, but only had a few seconds relief before S. penetrated me from behind. I was already swollen and dripping back there from the extended time with the vibrator and the sensation of him pushing in and out of me was enough to make me gasp.

He began to pound against me, pushing so my ankles were lifted up off the floor with each thrust, grinding my already painful knees against the rug with each thrust. My face and shoulders were also repeatedly ground into the carpet with each new push from behind. The combination of pain and pleasure were so intense I couldn't help crying out with each thrust.

By the time S had finally cum, my knees, ankles, wrists, shoulders, neck and the right side of my face were all in agony. I was shaking like a leaf and sobbing quietly. I felt S release the metal connecting my wrists to my ankles and brought my numb hands forward, lifting my head painfully off the floor. Was it over? I wondered. Or was he still angry at me. I quickly got a response when S's taunting voice reached my ears: "I know you played with your wand earlier. I think we should play with it again now, don't you?" I groaned in horror. How was I possibly going to stand the wand? I can't control myself even under the best of circumstances when that powerful motor is inside me and against my clit.

S left the room and I moaned, knowing he planned to carry out the threat. Sure enough, within moments, S had returned and plugged in the wand and I felt him force my trembling legs apart and insert it. He immediately turned it on low. I gasped and bucked forward, almost immediately overwhelmed by the powerful sensation against my super sensitive areas. "What's the matter, slave?" he taunted. "Aren't you glad you played with your wand earlier today?" I vehemently shook my head no. (I had been very horny earlier and S had given me permission to play). "Are you going to play again when I'm not there to watch you?" I shook my head harder in denial, gasping and moaning as the relentless buzz continued.

"Move" S commanded. Move? With the wand inside me? My head spun. What did he mean? A slap on my ass urged me forward and I gingerly obeyed, crawling slowly forward. S. followed me with the wand, ensuring that it was pushed directly against me with each step. As I moved, the wand reached new places, and I came again. I felt as if I were about to collapse. I shook helplessly. S urged me forward until I had moved quite a way across the living room and then told me to halt. He then turned the wand on high. At this point, I thought I was going to lose it completely. I alternated trying to balance on each painful knee, arching my back and moving my hips in desperate but futile attempts to get away from the wand. I felt as if I couldn't stand another second of the intense vibration against my screaming parts. Finally, S took pity on me and turned it off. I collapsed against the carpet, shaking hard. Oh thank God, thank God, thank God, was all I could think.

But I heard and felt the click of metal securing my ankle cuffs together and knew that the night wasn't over yet. I hung my head and trembled, trying to steel myself for whatever was coming next. S pulled on the leash that was still attached to my collar. "Come slave," he commanded me. I groaned and tried to obey, the mere two inches room between my shackled ankles making every movement difficult. S forced me to pivot on my already desperately painful knees, and then pulled sharply on the leash, forcing me forward. I could only move slowly, hampered by my shackles, and crawled painfully after him, guided only by the relentless pressure of the leash pulling me forward and his occasional commands: "Turn, left, forward, etc."

By the time we reached the bedroom once more, I thought I would never be able to move again. Every time my knees came down against the hard wooden floor, I gasped in agony, my wrists and ankles hurt badly, my neck ached, and I was shaking uncontrollably. S had me stop and sit up so I was kneeling before him. The then removed the blindfold.

"Stand up!" he commanded. My weary brain, deep in subspace, attempted to make sense of this order. Stand up? But my ankles were still shackled beneath me. How could I? I frowned, unsure what to do. "Stand up!" S ordered again. "Don't you want to get in the bed?" I was much too deep in subspace to even begin to be able to speak, so I just gazed upward at him in mute confusion. It took a few seconds before the look on my face registered and then I heard him say "Oh, that's right!" With relief, I felt S move behind me and detach the piece that connected my ankles. I was then able to obey and stand up, shaking and swaying.

S led me to the bed and helped me in. I lay there, shaking convulsively and completely out of it for a long time while he held me. I'm not sure how long it was until I was finally able to open my eyes and speak again, but it seemed like an eternity. Just stopping shaking took a monumental effort of will: Each time I thought it was done, a new series of shudders would overtake me.

I finally was able to turn in his arms and face him and respond to questions a little. S. informed me that I would be sleeping with the ankle and wrist cuffs on, not connected to anything, but just to remind me of my place. He also told me that he would keep the collar and leash on with the loop around his wrist and that if I needed to go to the bathroom, I would need to wake him up and ask and he would walk me there on all fours. I winced and nodded, accepting my fate, my will too broken to resist at this point. "And if you disobey me and try to slip off the leash without waking me up, you'll spend the entire day on your knees," he warned. "I'll obey!" I hastened to assure him.

S. told me to turn off the light and we settled down for the night. He left the connectors on the wrist and ankle cuffs so they clinked every time I moved in the bed. And whenever S changed positions, the tugging of the leash against my collar woke me up. It was a long night... I slept deeply at first, completely spent. But then woke up partway through the night when I tried to turn over and the clanking of my cuffs plus the tug of the leash woke me up. My bladder was starting to twinge, but I refused to acknowledge it. The thought of placing one of my desperately painful knees against the unforgiving wood floor for even one more second was horrifying.

I dozed fitfully after that, waking up every time I tried to shift position. After a while, a few hours later, S awoke and asked if I had to go to the bathroom. I shook my head no, even though I did, because I simply didn't think I could deal with the floor again. To my distress, he pronounced that he had to go, and I was forced to listen as he walked to the bathroom and urinated. I groaned and turned over, trying hard to ignore my own need.

Finally, an hour or so later, I couldn't put it off any longer, I woke up S and asked if I might be allowed to go on hands and feet instead of hands and knees. He thought about it for a minute and then said that it sounded painful to him but if I could manage it he would allow it. I almost laughed: At that moment nothing could have sounded more painful than putting my abused knees against the floor for so much as another instant. So I clumsily made my way out of bed and followed S to the bathroom, awkwardly walking on crouched legs with most of the pressure from my body on my hands. It seemed interminable but I finally made it there, and S allowed me to go in on my own. God, the relief of being able to pee at last!!!!

The rest of the night passed much the same way: I tossed and turned, waking myself up each time I shifted positions, acutely aware of the cuffs and collar shackling me at five points. I had worried about the next couple of nights in the camper, but now that thought seemed like bliss in comparison to this!!!

So yeah, the moral of this story is definitely: Be careful for you wish for because you may get it...and then some!!! I don't think I'll be whining again any time soon, PMS or no PMS!!!