A New Game

If you've spent any time reading my blog, you already know that S. is creative. Very, very creative. Especially, when it comes to finding ways to make me insane with pleasure and pain.

The other day, he decided to play a new game with me. He told me I wasn't allowed to come into the living room for a while, so I went to the bedroom and stayed there, while he sat on the couch busily writing something. After a while, he came into the bedroom and presented me with four pieces of paper, each with a number from 1 to 4 on it. He told me to choose one.

I was familiar with this general idea from past games he has played with me and knew that when I selected a number, the other side of the paper would have something written on it that would then be enacted on me. And the worst part, the most humiliating and infuriating part is that, no matter how much I whined or complained about it, he would take great delight in reminding me that I "chose" the card and that everything that was happening to me as a consequence was my own fault. Grrr...

I stared at those numbers for quite a while: 1, 2, 3, 4... What evil plans were written on the back of each piece of paper? What would I have to endure? Was one less awful than the others? How should I pick? I finally, randomly selected number 2. S smirked at me: "Are you sure?" he asked? Which immediately made me want to change my selection. But I figured he would say that no matter what I chose, so I nodded my confirmation. Yes, I was sure.

S. grinned as he read the back of the paper, careful not to show it to me. Instead, he let me see the other papers, the ones I hadn't selected: 1 involved a blindfolded game, 3 involved being led around on a leash, 4 being shackled and crawling. I felt simultaneously glad that I hadn't selected any of these, and scared of what number 2 held in store for me. As if reading my mind, S. decided to share what was on 2 with me: He informed me that nothing would happen until tonight when the scenario that I had chosen would then be played out. So that would give me plenty of time to reflect upon and anticipate it.

Card number 2 had four steps on it: Step1: I was to be blindfolded and shackled on the bed. Step 2: I was to have the nipple clamps attached. (OH NO!!!!) Step 3: S was going to pull on the nipple clamps while alternating the use of a dildo and the wand on me. Step 4: This step read simply: "Subspace".

I groaned, and pointed out that I would probably be in subspace long before step 4. S grinned and reminded me that I had selected my own doom and that he had given me a chance to change my mind. I muttered something about how choosing things blindly wasn't fair. This just made him grin more.

And so the evening passed, until S. decided it was time to follow the instructions on card number 2. Since the directions weren't specific about how he was supposed to restrain me, he became creative: I was put on all fours on the bed and then the ankle cuffs were connected closely together. Then my arms were stretched forward and my wrist cuffs were attached to a point midway up the wrought iron bedframe. This allowed me to just barely rest my elbows on the bed to support myself but still put quite a bit of pressure on my wrists as well. As always, the sensation of being shackled while blindfolded is quite disorienting: I can only judge my position by feel and sound and the world seems to reel around me.

Once step 1 was complete, I started to squirm as much as the restraints would allow me, which was very little, because I knew full well what was coming with step 2: My absolute most hated and dreaded toy: The nipple clamps. :( :( :(   Now I don't know if you've ever experienced nipple clamps, but having one of the most sensitive and delicate areas of your body crushed in a metal vice is VERY painful. I tend to be very quiet, but the nipple clamps are guaranteed to make me cry out every single time.

As soon as I heard the metal clink of the clamps, I started to hyperventilate and shake in anticipation. "What's the matter?" S taunted me. "You know that sound, don't you!" He snickered. "You chose this scenario, remember?" I was too scared of the oncoming pain to argue but just groaned in anticipation and pulled fruitlessly against the cuffs. Seconds later, I felt S's hand against my right breast, teasing the nipple so it would be upright and at it's most sensitive just prior to attaching the clamp. My whole body froze in dread of the coming pain and my breath came in short gasps. A second later, and I cried out "Oh my GOD!" as pain exploded across my right breast. It was so sharp it literally took my breath away. I started panting hard and moaning in pain. A few tweaks of my right nipple and I cried out in pain again, both my breasts in agony.

I froze, trying not to move an inch, panting and crying in pain. Then I heard S's footsteps as he left the room. My head whirled. Where had he gone? The scenario didn't call for him to leave me shackled to the bed with nipple clamps causing me increasing agony every second!!! But the pain was too intense for me to speculate for long and I panted in misery, trying to get some handle on the agony before the next step.

When S came back a few minutes later without any explanation, I could hear him move behind me on the bed. By now, the pain in my nipples had reduced from feeling like burning ice picks being thrust through them to merely being burned by hot coals every few seconds. I was sweating all over from the effort of trying to deal with the pain. I felt him tease my nether lips apart and then insert a toy inside me and turn it on. The dull vibration deep inside made me jump, and the chain between the nipple clamps swung, bringing a fresh wave of agony.

"Five minutes with this toy, then five minutes of the wand on low, then five on high" S reminded me of the next step in the scenario. I knew from past experience that the toys would be great only until I came, and then the stimulation would become so intense on my highly sensitive parts that every subsequent orgasm would bring increasing pain and exhaustion. So I tensed myself and tried to ignore the thrumming deep inside. I had to delay cumming for as long as possible.

Of course, S. made this as difficult as possible: He alternated shifting the toy deep inside me, rotating it, pushing it against my clit, and pulling on the nipple clamps. The fresh waves of sensation of pleasure and pain made it nearly impossible for me to maintain a grip on my efforts not to cum. However, I somehow managed to barely hang on until the first five minutes were up.

Then I felt the first toy being removed and the wand penetrating me deeply with the main head right against my clit. And I knew that my battle for self control was lost. It simply isn't possible to resist that level of stimulation for long. The second the wand was turned on, I gasped and squirmed, trying to distance myself from the powerful thrumming both inside and outside. But S. grabbed me by my ponytail and yanked my head back, causing me to immediately lose all self control and cum explosively: With my head forced all the way up, my back arches, causing me to present my clit fully to the wand, and intensifying the sensation tenfold. I never had a chance.

From that moment on, the wand went from deep pleasure to torture: Even before I was done cumming, I was already trying desperately to get away from the wand's stimulation on my overly sensitive parts. When I use the wand on my own, I always turn it off right after I start cumming or else it gets much too intense to cope with. But of course, this time I had no choice. I squirmed and wriggled, and pulled against the restraints, but all to no avail. Shackled as I was, I couldn't move far, and S simply held onto the wand and followed my every movement, making escape from the stimulation impossible. From time to time, he would pull on the clamps as well.

At this point, the waves of pleasure and pain were simply too much to cope with and I gave myself up to subspace. I don't remember the rest all that clearly, except that when he turned the wand from low to high, the stimulation was so much that I tried to climb the bedframe to escape. But of course, with my wrists cuffed to it, it was impossible, and I wound up in a kneeling position with S pressing the wand upwards as hard as he could against my sensitive clit. "Oh, oh, oh, no, no no!" I gasped repeatedly as he laughed and followed my every attempt to move away.

Finally, it was over, and I collapsed onto the bed. I lost track of how many times I came. After about the fourth time, it was just pretty much continuous waves. The only moment that is really clear in my memory is when S removed the nipple clamps: A fresh wave of agony and then I subsided back into the depths of subspace.

As always, S. was gentle with me afterwards, cuddling me and speaking to me gently until I emerged from subspace.

It wasn't until the next morning that it occurred to me to ask S. where he went when he had left the room right after attaching the nipple clamps. His response? A nonchalant: "Oh, I had to pee..." made me want to bite him over and over and over again.

"You...had...to...PEE???!!!" I demanded?

"Yep!" he smirked at me.

"You left me there, shackled and helpless, in agony because you had to PEE????" I was outraged.

"Uhhuh!" S confirmed, clearly amused by my reaction.

"GAH!!!!" this was the only response I could come up with. I smacked him several times and he caught my wrist and just laughed at me.

"Now I know you're a true Dom," I muttered. "Only a real sadist would be able to inflict that much agony on me and then casually walk out of the room to go urinate... bastard!" This only made him laugh harder.

Being Punished...

The night before last, I received my first real punishment from S. It pretty much sucked and I'm not all that eager to relive it, but I figured I should probably post about it.

I'd rather not get into exactly what I did to earn the punishment, but I can freely admit that I not only deserved it, I was pretty much asking for it. :(  S. had asked me multiple times not to do something. But I pretty much ignored him because, in my mind, it was something clearly in the realm of vanilla life and not connected to any Dom/sub roles. So I continued to do as I pleased, despite his repeated attempts to get me to stop. He tried reasoning with me. He tried humoring me out of it. He tried threatening me. Nothing had the slightest effect. So, I guess he decided that the only final resort left was to whip me for my continued stubbornness.

I have to admit that I honestly didn't expect him to go through with it. The behavior he objected to was so clearly not related to my role as his sub, and he's so often generous and lenient with me. I figured it was just talk when he told me that I would earn 80 lashes with the whip if I insisted on continuing. In fact, I even teased him about it, when he changed it from 80 to 40: I told him that by the end of the day he'd probably change it to 5 and then not even do that.

Have you ever taunted a Dom? Turns out, that's a pretty foolhardy thing to do. But I felt pretty safe doing it. S. is so nice to me and usually softens and lets me get away with no end of stuff. In fact, I went so far as to call S. a "softie" under my breath during our discussion. Unfortunately for me, he caught it: "Oh, I'm a softie, am I? We'll see about that tonight!" and that may have been the determining factor in his decision to go ahead and punish me. :/

So there I was in bed, all cozy and curled around S's chest, as we chatted before bed. We were back to discussing the behavior in question, and I freely admitted that I had blatantly ignored him and done it yet again. I felt safe, confident that I'd get away with it and he wouldn't do anything about it. Unfortunately for me, I must have pushed S. just too far because next thing I knew he pulled away from me and got out of bed to fetch the whip. He told me I would get 10 lashes on each breast and 10 on each butt check for a total of 40 to teach me not to disobey him. I told him that this wasn't fair. And that the topic wasn't related to our Dom/sub relationship. However, his only response was: "Oh it is fair." He was determined...

S. told me to sit up and present my breasts for whipping. My immediate response was: "Are you in-SANE?" There is no way on earth I have enough self control to voluntarily present an area that sensitive for that level of pain. I instinctively curled up and covered my breasts with both arms protectively. My nipples were already incredibly sore from him applying the nipple clamps (I HATE THOSE BLOODY THINGS) the other night and yanking on them.

"Fine!" S. snapped, and immediately got out the wrist cuffs. By this point, I was beginning to realize that I was really in trouble and so I obeyed when he commanded me to present my wrists. He shackled them quickly and roughly and then blindfolded me. He then had me turn so that I was on my knees, facing the foot of the bed, and proceeded to cuff me to the bedframe with my arms spread apart a couple of feet so that I couldn't escape. He then yanked down my pajama bottoms.

Before I could even brace myself, S. moved to the left side of the bed and I heard the whistle of the whip through the air, followed by an incredibly sharp pain across my left butt cheek. I think, this was the moment when I realized that I was in deep, deep trouble. Normally, S. is very nice about slowly warming me up with light strokes and rarely whips me very hard. I usually wind up with pink raised welts, but within 24 hours, they have completely faded and disappeared. From the agony of my left butt cheek, I knew that there wasn't going to be any warm up period and I would be wearing these welts for a lot longer than 24 hours.

While I was processing this, S. had moved to the right side of the bed and next thing I knew, my right butt check was in agony. God, the pain was intense! I moaned and struggled against the cuffs. Then, I heard him move toward the foot of the bed and my entire body stiffened in anticipation of feeling the pain on my breasts. This is the part where I got lucky though: Because of the way my cuffs were shackled to the bedframe, there wasn't much room for S. to wind up and the strokes across my breasts were nowhere near as hard as the ones on my rear. They still stung though, especially when anything touched my already sore nipples, and I squirmed and moaned.

Then I heard S. moving again, back to the left of the bed. Two more quick strokes and explosions of agony on my left butt cheek. The pain was much more intense than I had bargained for and I yanked reflexively against my restraints, but as the center of my bedframe is wrought iron, I wasn't going anywhere. When I heard his footsteps heading back to the right side of the bed, I instinctively moved as far away from him as I could toward the left of the bed. Unfortunately, with the cuffs attacked to the foot of the bed, this meant only a foot or two before I was brought up short. My attempts to move away had no effect on S. and two more agonizing slashes against my right butt check had me whimpering and crying out.

By the time S. had reached only 4 on each cheek, I was shaking all over and felt that I simply couldn't bear six more lashes on each side. I started to cry underneath the blindfold. I think this is around the time when I started to beg: "No, no, no, no, no, please, please, please, please..." But S. seemed to have taken me calling him a "softie" to heart and there was no mercy for me. "You asked for it," he reminded me. He repeatedly grabbed me by the hair and instructed me to stop moving around on the bed. I don't honestly know whether I did or didn't. I was in so much pain, I couldn't begin to think straight, let alone make my body obey me. Each new impact of the whip was increasingly agonizing and I knew for sure that I wouldn't be willfully disobeying S. again any time soon about anything.

By the time the final strokes were delivered, I was crying in earnest, and shaking hard. Usually, S. comforts me once a scene is over, holds me, strokes me, speaks softly and reassuringly to me. But this was punishment so instead, he roughly removed the cuffs and then told me in a stern voice: "Since you think I'm a softie, I won't be applying any ice to your welts tonight. We'll see how soft you think I am." All I could do was tremble, my face buried against the bedsheets, my willfulness completely broken.

I only have a vague recollection of what exactly happened after that. My entire bottom was on fire and the slightest movement was agonizing. S. told me the next day that he had whipped me hard enough to actually break the skin in certain places. All I knew was that I would never ever repeat the behavior for which he had punished me. After a while, the trembling subsided, and I wound up curled on my side in the bed. Every time I shifted my position at all or the sheet so much as brushed against my bottom, I would stiffen and moan as the pain overtook me again. After a few hours of this, S. decided that I had learned my lesson and finally fetched some ice and applied it to the swollen welts across my backside. After that, I was finally able to fall asleep, although I woke up all night long, each time I tried to turn over or move too much.

The next day brought a definite change in my attitude: I now have a healthy respect and fear of defying S. He's certainly been generous and forgiving of me, but I now know that if I push him too far, I''ll bear the consequences. The welts and bruising across my backside are a testament to that.

Calling Him "Master"

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I have a hard time with titles like "Sir" and especially "Master". I wrote about it in several posts including this one: Titles...ewww! But S. greatly enjoys calling me "slave" and his mission in life is to have me call him "Master" all the time.

To date, I have only ever uttered the dreaded M... word once. And it was this summer when he kept whipping me until I finally broke (I need to write a post on that but haven't gotten to it yet). By the time he was done, my ass was on fire and I simply couldn't hold out any more so I wound up whispering the word in submission. But I haven't come remotely close to saying it since despite S. trying to get me to say it from time to time.

However, I knew that my stubbornness in this matter wasn't going to last on this trip as S. had promised me I WOULD call him "Master" again before the end of the trip. So here we were on the last night, and I knew what was coming although I couldn't anticipate the exact format it would take. All I knew is that I was determined not to say that word and that S. was equally determined to get me to say it. And unfortunately for me, since S. is the Dom, I knew I was probably going to be put through a lot of pain before the night was out, until I finally broke and said it again.

And so it began...

S. placed me on my knees on the bed, with my legs spread and then attached wrist and ankle cuffs. He connected each wrist to the corresponding ankle so that my ass was high in the air and I couldn't move to protect myself in any way. I squirmed a bit, but quickly stopped, because in that position, all squirming accomplishes is making my legs slide farther apart, making me even more vulnerable to whatever S. might choose to do.

To my surprise, S. attached the bit gag to me. But he explained as he did: "I am going to keep this gag on you until you are ready to call me Master." I groaned through the gag and buried my face on the mattress. S. grabbed my hair and yanked my hair so my head was forced up and back and told me that he would keep going until I called him Master tonight.

S. then slid off the bed and I could hear him rummaging in the toy box. He pulled something out, and I soon heard a vibrator and felt him push the head of it against my pussy. I jumped and groaned in pleasure as he pushed it deeply into my pussy until it was lodged there, and left it there on high. I heard him returning to the toy box once more. I was pretty sure that he was getting the flicker whip: The one that hurts like crazy and leaves welts everywhere and sure enough, I soon heard a whistling sound through the air and the first crack hit my right cheek. I jumped and groaned in pain, curling my fingers and toes to try to steel myself for the next impact.

S. continued to work on my ass with the whip, alternating cheeks and making me gasp and moan in pain. Occasionally, he would stop and come over to my head and pull my hair until he could see my face and demand whether I was ready to submit yet. Each time, I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head in denial. And he would resume the whipping. It was a crazy sensation with the vibrator in my pussy because each time the lash hit my sensitive skin, I would convulse and involuntarily clench all my muscles, including my internal ones, causing a wave of pleasure inside my pussy at the same time as the sharp pain from the crack of the whip. The simultaneous pleasure and pain was making me crazy!

About halfway through this, S. stopped and rummaged in the toy box again. I wondered what was in store for me now, and I soon heard the dreaded sound of lube being squeezed out and I knew what was coming next. Sure enough, I felt his fingers invading my anus and I moaned and tried to squirm away, only succeeding in spreading my legs even farther apart. Before I could recover, S. pushed the largest plug all the way in, making me moan loudly. Then he resumed the whipping, pausing from time to time to press against the plug and shove it in even more deeply. Because I still had the vibrator inside me, both the plug and the vibrator rubbed against one another, causing the vibrations to invade my anus as well and I writhed from the sensations of pain, pleasure and fullness that I was helpless to stop.

My ass was on fire by the time S. was finished, but I still refused to utter the dreaded M.. word. I honestly cannot explain this very well, other than to say that there is something in me that just balks at the idea of calling anyone that. And, even if I'm in significant pain, it's extremely difficult for me to even contemplate uttering that word. I guess S. decided that it was time to change tactics because he removed the vibrator, leaving the plug inside me, disconnected my wrists from my ankles, and ordered me off the bed. I complied shakily and followed him to the foot of the bed.

"Kneel!" he commanded me, and I dropped to my knees once more, my body shaking from the abuse it had already taken. S. then proceeded to attach my ankle restraints to the spreader bar so my knees were spread far apart and then attached my wrist cuffs to the bedframe on either side so my arms were spread wide, turning me into a giant X, and unable to move in any direction.

At this point, my knees were really starting to hurt, my ass was killing me, The anal plug had been in for quite a while by now, and my anus was really starting to ache, and I was shaking quite a bit. My head was spinning too, so when S. approached me with the blindfold, I shook my head back and forth, trying to escape it. But of course, I couldn't, and I was soon engulfed in darkness, unable to anticipate what would come next. I chewed fretfully on the bit gag and tried to regain some composure, but I could feel myself slipping further into subspace.

S. made me wait for a few seconds, and then I heard the sound of the whip whistling through the air. I tried desperately to bring my arms together to protect myself and to huddle forward but the restraints prevented me from doing so and I took the full impact of the lash directly across my breasts. I cried out in pain and my body shook. Before I could even breathe again, S. hit me again, catching me directly on the left breast and making me gasp in agony. He kept this up for a while until my entire body was shaking from head to toe and then he paused to ask whether I was ready to submit and call him "Master" yet. The pain all over my body was intense, but something within me just refused to break and I shook my head in defiance, while dreading the continued punishment that would follow.

S. reached behind my head and removed my gag, causing drool to drip down my chest and told me that he would just continue with the whipping and I could submit and call him Master any time I was ready. He then returned to the toy box and I heard the sound I had been fearing the most: The metal clink of the nipple clamps. I hate the clamps! They are excruciatingly painful!!!! The bite of them against my sensitive nipples is nearly unbearable under normal circumstances and the thought of having to endure them now that my breasts were inflamed and swollen from the whipping was nearly too much to bear.

S. came over to me and I felt his hand tease my left nipple, making it harden, and then he attached the metal clamp directly onto it. I couldn't help the loud "OWWWWWWWWWWW!" that escaped my lips as the pain made me break out in goosebumps and convulse against the restraints. Seconds later, I felt him repeating the process with my right nipple and I another "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" issued from me as that clamp bit deeply into my delicate flesh. At this point, I think I was crying. It just hurt so freaking much!!!

Then I heard S. Leave the room for a few moments and I straine my ears, trying to make out what he was doing. To my dismay, I was able to identify the sound of the freezer door and ice cubes clinking. By the time he returned to the bedroom, I was moaning and shaking my head back and forth. He laughed when he saw me and I soon heard him close in front of me. I tried desperately to close my legs to protect my pussy but the spreader bar kept me stretched wide open and S. wasted no time in pressing the ice cube directly into my clit, making me gasp and moan. I tried to sway my hips away from him but the bedframe prevented it, and he pushed the ice deeper until my lips closed around it and it was stuck in place.

At this point, I was very close to my breaking point and I knew it: my ass was on fire, my knees ached, my shoulders and wrists were strained from my yanking desperately on my restraints, my nipples were sending unbelievable waves of pain through my body and the ice was causing an intense freezing, burning sensation in my clit that was almost too much to bear.

S. then picked up the whip and started once more to lash my tortured breasts. I was crying out with each impact as both the area of the lash hurt like crazy and my nipples that were being jerked around with the clamps and chain connecting them swinging around from my convulsions were too much to bear. It was at that point that I broke, and the next time S. paused and asked me if I was ready to submit yet, I hung my head and nodded.

It took several deep breaths before I could force myself to say the hated word: "M...M...Master," I finally managed in a croak.

"Louder!" he commanded.

"M...Master!" I repeated obediently in a louder tone, submitting completely to his will, unable to hold out any more.

This finally satisfied S. and he removed the nipple clamps, causing a fresh wave of pain as the blood rushed back into my abused flesh and I collapsed onto my hands and knees as soon as he disconnected the restraints from the footboard. S. moved around me removing all four cuffs, the blindfold, and finally taking out the anal plug. He then helped me to my feet and guided me to the bed.

I was deeply in subspace at this point and curled up in the bed with his arms around me in a somewhat catatonic state. S. held me gently and patted my cheek and hair, telling me how much he loved me. It took a while for me to be able to even open my eyes, or respond to him in any way. He kept telling me he loved me, but all I could manage back was to nod my head against his chest.

Finally, after a long time had passed, and my shaking had stopped, I felt a bit better and was just floating in S.'s arms. This is my favorite part: I feel so loved and cherished and cared for in those moments. S. is always so kind and gentle and I would do just about anything in the world for him right then. So, when I heard him say once more: "I love you!" I curled the corner of my lips into a small smile and clung tighter to his chest and whispered back:

"I love you too, Master!"

Inventory of Pain

S. just left: I dropped him off at the airport at noon for his flight home.

I cried when we said goodbye.

Of course, I cried, as I held him close and inhaled his wonderful scent for the last time until Spring. He is the love of my life, and my heart and body ache for him already, although we have barely been separated for over an hour. My house and arms feel empty without him here. He is the most wonderful man in the world. He has made my dreams come true. He is perfect for me. I am eternally grateful for him, now and every single day.

So now I sit here, in my bed, with my laptop propped on my knees, missing his warm presence beside me, and inventorying my many abrasions, contusions, and sore areas. S. sure put me through a gauntlet these past few day! I can't remember ever being so sore all over!

Let's see:

- My jaw aches from having gags pushed into my mouth, especially the ball gag I had to wear while preparing a meal for him yesterday. Whenever I open my mouth wide to yawn, eat, drink, or brush my teeth, it aches, and I have to quickly shut it again.

- My knees are tender and bruised all over from days of kneeling and crawling on all fours all over my apartment, which mainly consists of hardwood floors.

- My palms are bruised and have a few small scratches from crawling on all fours while leashed and being led by S.

-My wrists are bruised and scratched from me yanking on the restraints so fiercely last night when he attached the nipple clamps.

- My neck and shoulders ache from having my arms stretched wide and attached behind and above me to the footboard while I knelt on the floor.

- My ass screams at me every time I sit down, as it is covered in multiple days worth of welts, all criss-crossing one another.

- My anal area still feels sore and stretched from having the giant butt plug in me last night.

- The area between my pussy and anus still aches and it burns like crazy every time I pee, from being rubbed raw by the bondage rope harness chafing against it.

- My breasts sting with the slightest movement and also bear numerous welts from the whip.

- My nipples are incredibly tender and bruised from the cruel bite of the nipple clamps.

...Oh, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life!!!

:)

The Game

I'm still reeling from this evening. I've never experienced anything like it. So I'll do my best to describe it all. Not sure if I can begin to do it justice though. I'll try...

Today, I had to go to work all day. It sucked to leave S. at my house in the morning. I told him he should help himself to anything and rest. Of course, as always, he had his own ideas, and while I was working, I got a series of text messages from him informing me that he was taking care of my pet, sweeping the steps and path clear from snow, salting the path, doing my dishes, hunting for my mop, etc.      

After work, I went straight home, and it was wonderful to come home to S.! :) What a treat to walk in the door and into his arms!!! We talked and snuggled for a while on the couch, talking about our days, and then I went to take a bath. S. told me that he had an "Event" prepared for me after my bath and that I shouldn't bother putting my clothes back on once I was finished. Needless to say, I spent most of my bath, wondering and worrying about what in the world S. had planned for me. My imagination was running pretty wild!!!

When I finished, I dried myself off, and then opened the door and stood there, clutching my towel against myself for some measure of reassurance, and feeling great trepidation about what might be about to happen. S. immediately approached the door with a blindfold in hand and placed it over my eyes. Have you ever been blindfolded when wet and naked? Talk about feeling vulnerable!!! I stood there. now blind, still holding my towel tightly against me, and listened as S. walked away from and then came back.

He commanded me to open my mouth, and I felt the pacifier gag (the one that makes me drool uncontrollably) pushed deep into my mouth. He fastened it tightly and then told me to turn around. I obeyed and felt a leather collar pulled tight and buckled around my neck, followed by a leash being clipped to it.

S. then spun me back around and told me: "Get on your hands and knees. I dropped my towel, and hesitated for a moment, but he put his hands on my shoulders, and pushed me toward the floor so I submitted and dropped to all fours. I felt him step behind me into the bathroom and bend down. He began speaking:

"Here are the rules, slave. We are going to play a little game. I've hidden some of your toys around various parts of the house. Your job is to find them. I am going to insert a vibrating bullet and use the controller to indicate whether you are hot or cold when you are searching for each toy. The lowest setting means cold, medium means you are getting warmer, and high means you are very close to a toy. But here's the catch: Once you find the toy, I will use it on you until you find the next toy."

I remained there, on all fours, swaying slightly, trying to take all of this in. "Do you understand, slave?" S. demanded. I nodded and grunted "Uh-huh" through the pacifier gag, already trying hard not to drool. Next thing I knew, S. barked "Spread your legs, slave!" at me and I tried to comply by spreading my legs farther apart. But apparently it wasn't sufficient because I almost immediately felt his hands pushing my knees even farther apart. Then I felt his fingers pushing a bullet vibrator deep into my pussy. He paused,before and after inserting it, to tease my clit with his fingers and I gasped and tried not to close my legs. then I heard something I couldn't identify and next thing I knew, his finger was in my ass, spreading lube inside me. I groaned and tried to move away, but got pulled up short by the leash. Before I could process what was happening, S. slipped the second bullet from my double bullet vibrator into my ass. Having just experienced vibration in my ass for the first time yesterday, I knew it was going to drive me completely crazy.

Once S. finished inserting both bullets, he stood up and I pulled my legs in to a more comfortable position, my knees already starting to ache a bit against the hard tile bathroom floor. "Okay, let's start this on low" announced S. and he turned on the bullets, causing me to jump as a steady low vibration filled both my pussy and my anus. "Let's go slave!" I felt the crop tap against my bare ass, and I unsteadily moved forward on all fours, blind and gagged, leashed and with the vibrating bullets deep inside me. I moved slowly, already disoriented, and feeling tentatively in front of me with my hands as I progressed. Before long, I felt the vibration in my anus and pussy increase and I knew I must be getting warmer. I made a guess as to the direction I should go and started to turn toward where I thought the living room was, but I was immediately pulled up short by the leash and the vibration slowed again. So I turned back to my original path along the hallway, feeling completely helpless and humiliated to be controlled by a combination of a leash and vibrations in my most private parts.

A few more feet and the vibrations inside me turned to high, and I knew I must be close. I had no idea what toy I was near or whether it was on the floor or somewhere else. Plus, I was finding it difficult to focus with the vibrator on the high setting. I reached out tentatively with one hand and felt around me. Soon my fingers encountered something on the floor and I let my fingers explore it. It only took a few seconds and I immediately emitted a muffled groan through my gag: I had felt metal and a metal chain. Without a doubt, I knew these were the dreaded and very painful nipple clamps. And according to S.'s rules, I knew that he was about to use them on me.

S. heard my muffled groan and said: "What's the problem, slave? If you didn't want me to use them against you, then you shouldn't have found them!" He turned the vibrating bullets off and ordered me to kneel. He then teased each nipple until it was hard by sucking on it and then attached the clamps. They HURT!!!! And I wasn't even moving yet! :( I was just dreading what would happen when I started to crawl with them on!!! But I also knew it would be to my advantage to do it quickly in order to find the next toy and have the clamps removed. 

Once S. was satisfied that the clamps were tight enough, he took up the leash and remote for the bullets once again and set the vibration to low once again. I was in the hallway but not entirely sure which way I was facing at this point, and unsure of where to move. So I simply started to move forward once again. But I was immediately brought up by a tug on the leash, and a steady pressure on the collar, pulling me toward the right, so I slowly spun until the tugging around my neck stopped. By this point, I was really disoriented and unsure of where I was or what to do next. My nipples were aching pretty badly and the low grade vibration in my pussy and anus were distracting me as well. So I hesitated, unmoving. But not for long: I soon felt the crop swing against my ass and I started and moved obediently forward once again, feeling like some sort of pack animal.

I felt myself cross a threshold and knew from the feeling of the rug under my fingers that I was in the living room. I felt the vibrations increase to medium and moved forward slightly more confidently. My nipples were starting to kill me with the chain from the clamps swinging back and forth with each movement and causing more pain. I wanted them off as soon as possible! So I crawled forward, feeling my way until the vibration increased to high. Having learned from my previous experience, I stopped short and began to explore the area around me with my fingers, searching for something that shouldn't be there. It took me a few moments, but my hand eventually encountered some type of fabric. I was confused: I don't have any fabric toys and yet it shouldn't be there on the living room floor. Puzzled, I pulled the fabric closer and felt the drag on it. Something heavier than the fabric was being dragged on it. So I felt around the fabric and my fingers finally closed on a long hard plastic object with a double bulb: One partway along it and the other at the end. I immediately recognized one of my vibrator toys with a secondary bulb for clit stimulation.

"Very good, slave." Now I get to use this on you for 5 minutes before you move on to look for the next toy," S. announced. He bent down and released the nipple clamps. I had expected to feel relief once they were off, but instead the pain doubled as the blood rushed to my abused nipples, causing me to cry out in pain. Before I could recover, S. moved behind me and pulled out the bullet in my pussy, replacing it immediately with the vibrator on full power. I stood there, on all fours, my nipples screaming at me, and tried not to sway as I felt the vibrator inserted deep inside me, the nub stimulating my clit. S. kept varying the positions the toy was in, never giving me a chance to adjust. He called out the minutes as they ticked by: "Three more minutes, two more, one more minute, slave." Before he was done, I came: A small orgasm that nevertheless caused me to gush fluid. The feeling of being blindfolded, gagged and leashed, and unable to control anything that was happening to me, made my head reel. Once the five minutes were up, S. removed the toy and replaced the bullet once more.

"Time to keep going, slave!" He announced. I hesitated again, my head spinning, but moved forward again as soon as he applied the crop to my bare ass. I was now moving across the living room to the other side. I could feel the vibration go from slow to medium and then to high as I altered my course slightly. Knowing I was close, I halted, and started hesitantly to feel around me. I was trying to think what toy I might encounter next. My nipples ached and my pussy tingled. I was having a difficult time focusing. Eventually, my fingers encountered something long and thin and I moaned and shook my head back and forth in denial, having recognized the flicker whip. My ass was already pretty sore from the previous night and I dreaded having to endure a whipping while blindfolded, gagged, leashed, and on all fours.

"That's right. You know what that is," S told me, a smirk in his tone. I waited for the vibrator to at least be turned back off but he left it at full throttle: "the bullets will remain on high until I am done with this next part, he informed me. I hung my head a bit and tried to brace myself for what was to come. A whistling sounded through the air and the first impact hit my already tender right butt check. I moaned through the gag as pain traveled through my body. S. soon followed it with a second to my left cheek. he continued to whip my ass cheeks in turn but without a clear pattern so I couldn't anticipate him: One on the left, two on the right, three on the left, one on the right, etc.

By the time he was done, I was trembling convulsively and wondering how in the world I was going to continue this game of his. My pussy was tingling from having just cum and the sensation of the bullets in my pussy and anus on high. And my ass was on fire, the new welts stinging like crazy. My knees and shoulders ached and I was completely disoriented and pretty close to being in full fledged subspace.

"Turn around, slave," S. commanded me. And I felt the vibrator return to low once again, giving me a blissful break from the constant stimulation. I quickly turned at the tug on the leash, afraid that any hesitation would earn me a slap from the crop on my already painful ass. S. must have sensed that I was fading and becoming more disoriented by this point, because he added some verbal directions as I crawled forward, telling me to return through the doorway and then crawl through into the bedroom. I obeyed, my sore knees protesting and felt the bullets change to medium vibrations as soon as I entered. I moved tentatively to the left, toward the desk, and was rewarded by increased vibes. Once I got right up to the desk, the stimulation was on high once more and I knew I was close. I reached around me, desperate to find whatever it was that was nearby, hoping it might be the final toy I had to find. But I couldn't locate anything around me.

S. took pity on me and told me: "Check the chair, slave. You know where the chair is." So I reached up and did. My fingers followed the legs of the chair to the seat, and there I touched a foreign object: A quick feel informed me that the silicone bulbous shape under my fingers was the largest butt plug. I moaned in despair and felt drool slide down my chin, as I was still unable to swallow from having the pacifier gag inserted and it was now starting to overflow.

S. didn't give me a chance to prepare. He pulled the bullet out of my anus and immediately inserted the large plug, pushing against it to be sure that it was deeply seated. I groaned at the additional pressure on my knees and the sensation of fullness deep into my ass. "You better hurry up and find the next toy then, hadn't you, if you want the plug out," S. taunted me. "You have one more toy to find before the game is over," he informed me. So I turned away from the desk and once again resumed my slow crawl across the floor. I felt my leash being yanked to the left this time so I moved toward the other side of the bedroom and the vibrations, now in my pussy only since the plug had replaced the anal bullet, increase from low to medium, and then to high. The remaining bullet, trailed on the floor, making a tremendous racket as it vibrated against the wood. "Tsk, tsk, what WILL the neighbors think!?" S. taunted me, causing me to push my exhausted body forward even faster.

I searched around desperately for the next and final toy, my fingers sliding over the floorboards until my hand bumped into a large and heavy object. I quickly identified it as the Hitachi wand. I simultaneously felt fear and relief. I was relieved because it wasn't a toy that caused pain, but was also afraid because I had never experienced someone else using the wand on me and my pussy was already so swollen, I thought I might go out of my mind when S. turned it on.

S. commanded me to turn around 180 degrees and guided me with a steady pull on the leash until I was positioned to his satisfaction. Then I heard him sit down behind me. "I'm going to use the wand on you for 7 minutes, he informed me: 3 and a half on low and 3 and a half on high." Seven minutes may not sound like much, but it usually takes me less than two to cum with the Hitachi wand just on the low setting even when I'm not at all aroused to start with. And I pretty much turn it off the instant I start to cum because I can't stand the stimulation once I'm that aroused. I couldn't imagine what 7 minutes with it being pressed into my pussy was going to feel like. My head was spinning and I panted through the gag.

S. commanded me to spread my legs once more and I struggled to comply. My knees were killing me by now and my entire body was still trembling from the earlier whipping. I felt as if none of my joints had any strength left in them. My ass was on fire, the welts stinging fiercely, my nipples still ached dully and I had drool dripping down my chin. I was prevented from moving my neck freely by the restricting leather collar and leash, and I was already halfway to subspace. I had never felt so vulnerable, exposed or helpless in my life.

I pushed my protesting body to assume the position S. had commanded and tried to brace myself for the Hitachi wand. I have a head attachment on it that allows one part to be inserted deeply, while the main head remains against the clit, stimulating it directly. I felt S. push the attachment into my pussy and shove it in as deeply as it would go. He then adjusted the head of the wand so it was directly against my clit and turned it on low. "Three and a half minutes," he said.

As the powerful vibrations began, I nearly lost it and pulled my legs closed, but I somehow managed to remain in position. The sensation was crazy. To have that level of stimulation being wielded against me by someone else when my body and mind were already completely spent was insane. I was completely defenseless and I simply gave myself over to the stimulation. I tried hanging my head and arching my back upward to steady myself a bit, but S. immediately grabbed my long pony tail and yanked my head all the way back so my pussy was even more exposed and I had no way to brace myself at all.

At this point, I lost all control and a river of drool pooled down my chin continuously as I began to cum hard. Usually I would have immediately turned off the wand, but that wasn't going to happen tonight. Instead, my now aching clit and pussy continued to be assaulted by the powerful vibrations of the wand and I moaned, groaned, whimpered, and writhed, as much as the gag would allow. S. continually moved the head of the wand around, preventing numbness from setting in, or allowing me to become accustomed to any particular stimulation.

"Now three and a half minutes on high," he announced. I had expected him to turn the wand off and then switch it on high, giving me a chance to brace myself. But, instead, he immediately switched it onto the most powerful level making me gasp and pant. At this point, I think I was pretty much cumming continuously, unable to stop. My entire body shook as the waves took over my body and I just tried to endure until the time was up. I could hear the drool rushing down my chin as I salivated helplessly and the drops land in a puddle on the floor before me. It was humiliating to know that I was gushing from both ends and completely unable to stop myself.

Finally, S. turned off the wand and let go of my hair and I hung my head, completely spent, tremors shaking my entire body. It's over, I thought to myself. I did it. Thank God! But little did I know, S. had one more thing in store for me. I heard him move around to the front of me and he removed first the collar and leash, and then the ball gag. "Wow, look at that puddle of drool on the floor," he mocked me, "you are a dirty slave!" I moaned and tried turn my head away, but as I was still blindfolded, I wasn't sure where away was.

I expected S. to remove the blindfold next and tell me it was over, but instead he commanded me to kneel up. I pushed my aching, trembling body upward and complied. I could feel him standing very close in front of me, and as he removed the pacifier gag, he snapped "Keep your mouth open" before I had a chance to rest my aching jaws. I obeyed, now getting some idea about what he was up to, and immediately felt his cock inserted into my mouth. "Suck, slave!" he commanded me. I steadied myself by holding onto S's hips as I complied, sucking hard on his cock which immediately grew enormous, filling my mouth completely.

I continued to suck and use my tongue, alternating the two sensations I know please him the most, until he grabbed my head and pulled my face back and forth, face fucking me. I tried hard not to gag (I have a very sensitive gag reflex) and continued to try to please him as he thrust more and more deeply into my mouth. Finally, when I thought I wouldn't be able to keep my jaws open another second, he withdrew himself from my mouth and came explosively over my chest and belly. I have never felt so much cum in my life! I was still blindfolded, and it felt as if three men were cumming on me at once! Every time I thought he must be done, another load of hot cum hit my chest, dripping down me.

Finally, S. expended his load, and stood there, panting, with me kneeling before him, cum and drool dripping freely from my body, trembling from head to toe. He reached down and removed the blindfold at long last and I blinked up at him briefly before shutting my eyes again. I was deep in subspace and unable to handle any more stimulation.

"You can stand up now...if you can," S. told me, as I knelt at his feet, swaying and shaking helplessly. I staggered to my feet and stood there completely disoriented and unable to keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds at a time. S. seemed to realize my condition and he led me gently to the bathroom and helped me into the tub, running the hot water high to fill the tub up fast. All I could do was sit there and shake. I'm not exactly sure what happened after that. I remember him asking me something about what kind of soap I preferred but I was completely unable to speak or even process the question, so he must have chosen one for me. I remember the feeling of a washcloth on my skin, gently washing me all over. I remember the trembling slowly abating. I kept leaning toward the outside of the tub, wanting to be close to him. After a bit, S. sat on the edge of the tub and I was able to press my forehead into his lap while he bathed me. That calmed me down more than anything.

Once he was done cleaning me, S. allowed me to sit in the hot water for some time and I clung to him as he sat on the edge of the tub, with my head in his lap. This felt better than anything: Just being close to him. I felt the trembling slowly abate and then finally stop completely. I opened my eyes for a few seconds at a time, and then more frequently. Eventually, (I have no idea how long), I was able to open my eyes all the way and look up at him. At that moment, I pretty much would have done anything in the world he told me to.

S. was so sweet and he held my face and covered me with gentle kisses and told me I was beautiful and talked to me until I started to come back to myself some more. He then helped me out of the tub and dried me off before leading me back to the bedroom and getting me under the covers with him cuddled beside me. Again, I have no idea how long we were there, but I slowly regained control of my mental and physical faculties and after a while, I was able to talk about the experience and begin to analyze it a little bit. S. continually kissed me and told me he loved me. :)

After quite some time, I was finally able to sit up and told him I was fine to go cook dinner now. So he went off to take his own bath and clean up. I went to the kitchen and made dinner, but I soon realized that I wasn't even close to being back to normal yet. I dropped every other thing I picked up, and when it was time to set the table, it took me several minutes to puzzle out whether I should place spoons or forks at the settings (this shouldn't have been a difficult decision since we were eating soup, but at the time it seemed too complex a question for my exhausted brain to cope with). I felt a deep exhaustion in my joints, and so I asked S. if he would carry the soup out for me because I was frankly afraid that, in my state of disorientation and exhaustion, I would most likely drop it.

S. kindly did bring the bisque to the table for us, and we ate and then watched a movie. But within minutes of the start of the film, I could barely keep my eyes open. S. noticed this and asked if I wanted to put my head on his lap. I said yes please!!! This was exactly what I had been desperately wishing for (isn't he the best Dom in the entire world?) and I was soon cuddled in his lap, with his arms around me. I dozed on and off for the next hour or so, waking periodically as he gently kissed my face. And when I woke up, I felt refreshed and better able to function.

It's now late at night and I need to get to sleep. S. is already in bed beside me, fast asleep, looking completely adorable and heartbreakingly sexy. I long to cuddle beside him and feel his warm skin next to mine. But this experience was so completely overwhelming, I just had to get it out. I've always processed things by writing about them, and this was something I needed to do before I could rest.

My final words before I go sleep beside my beloved Dom are gratitude: I am so very very very grateful to have a partner who cares about me so deeply, who is so creative and thoughtful in planning things for me, who can read me and knows when to push and when to be gentle, and most especially who provides the best aftercare in the world! I am humbled and blessed and eternally grateful for my S. I am completely head over heels in love with him. I hope to spend every minute of the rest of the life with him.

Nipple clamps

So, I don't know about you ladies out there, but my nipples are very, very, very, very, very sensitive...

I've never engaged in any kind of breast or nipple torture, just the usual sucking, licking and very occasional gentle biting. In fact, my nipples are sensitive enough that just extended sucking on them makes them quite sore.

So, I'm sure you can imagine the look on my face a month or so ago when S. shared with me that he had been looking at nipple clamps online and found several of the images quite arousing. He said he would enjoy attaching them and then pulling on the chain that connects them.  :O

Ohhhhhhh boy... My instant reaction to the mere topic of nipple clamps is to cross my arms and hold my hands protectively over my breasts. It makes me shudder just to THINK about. But once again, S. is the Master so my poor nipples are at his mercy if he so chooses.

So we looked online at all of the different options, read reviews, discussed, debated. I clicked on links, in between holding onto my poor breasts protectively. It's so hard when ordering a type of toy you've never used before and have no way to try ahead of time. We decided that we wanted adjustable clamps so they could be made looser and be tightened over time. We determined that, while the idea of the Japanese clover clamps that tighten when you pull on the chain is nice, they sounded pretty brutal for a starter set. We learned that the clamps with the soft rubber tips will slip right off if there is any moisture at all around the nipple prior to them being applied. So, after all of our research, we settled on these:

The clamps were actually ordered at the same time as a couple of other toys and when the box arrived I dreaded opening it. But to my immense relief, when I finally did, I found that the clamps we selected had been out of stock and they just shipped and charged me for the other items. PHEW! I was so relieved I did a happy dance!!! S., on the other hand, was distinctly less happy lol.

But then a week later, a nice flat padded manilla envelope arrived in the mail and I ripped it right open, expecting it to be a big pile of pictures I had ordered, but to my sheer horror, the nipple clamps fell out into my lap! :( Damn that company for being so efficient with back ordering items!!!!!

So the first trial of these refined instruments of torture went something like this: Cue S. with a big big grin on his face. Cue me with clamps in hand, huge eyes and trying to cover both of my breasts with my remaining hand. Drumroll please... I gingerly attach ONE clamp and...  

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Omfg what sick sadistic medieval professional inquisition torturer designed these things?!!!

Let's just say they hurt WAY more than I had even feared. :( So umm yeah, after much adjusting, I managed to get them to a width where I wasn't quite screaming in agony the second they were on, and then I removed them from my agonized breasts and put them away in the toy box. At the bottom. Under ALL the other toys. I figured maybe if I didn't mention them ever again S. would hopefully forget they existed.

Sadly for me, S. managed not only to remember the clamps, but decided that since they hurt so nicely, they would make an excellent punishment tool. So about a week later, during the anal training, I got altogether too feisty with my complaints and he told me to go put on the clamps....
My immediate cries of nooooooooooooooooooo and pleas for forgiveness were too late and I had to go dig the ghastly things out of the box as ordered.

Let's just say that a mere 15 minutes with the clamps produced a very very subdued and chastened submissive with throbbing nipples. And S. very much enjoyed the marks the evil clamps left for quite a while afterwards.

Now he's talking about using the crop on my breasts in addition to the clamps... I have a feeling my poor nipples are never going to be the same again!