Lemon Juice is Evil!

S. decided a couple of weeks ago that it's time for me to be trained for anal again. If you've read my blog since the beginning, you know that I never had anal before meeting S. The whole idea is frankly GROSS. I've never understood why guys want it!!! And any of the men I've previously had relationships with who attempted to get in there were instantly and forcefully rebuffed. My usual line is: "That ride is closed for the season!"

I was quite happy with my status as an anal virgin. And had absolutely zero aspirations to become otherwise. That is, until I met S. When we were first starting to talk about our fantasies, the very first thing he said was that he had always dreamed of having anal. And I thought to myself: Oh boy, here we go again...sigh.

Unfortunately for me, I then fell in love with S. and he became my Dom and I wanted badly to please him. And so, to make a long story slightly shorter, I wound up agreeing to being trained for anal intercourse. It was my hope that it wouldn't be as yucky as I had always imagined. Sadly, I soon found out that I hated the feeling. :( But that didn't dissuade S. from his goal and so I obediently inserted a series of increasingly large anal toys for longer and longer periods of time last winter until he was satisfied. And so I had anal intercourse for the first time at Christmas. (Groan)

After that, S. didn't bring it up again much and I was allowed to stop inserting anal toys and spent the next six months blissfully ignoring that part of my body...until a few weeks ago that is. S announced that it was time to take up the training again and I started looking for convenient ways to commit suicide (just kidding).

So over the course of the last couple of weeks, I've had to endure one toy or another inserted for between 10 and 15 minutes at a time. My feelings about anal haven't changed: I HATE the sensation!!!! It's like being violated in the most personal place possible. And I find the whole concept of it just icky. But S. has decided, and so I must endure.

Last night, was time for more of this joyous training (blech). S. had me lie on my stomach on the bed, and then used the under the bed restraint system to tie my legs and pull them as far apart as they would go. He then cuffed my wrists together and attached them to the wrought iron headboard so I was spread across the bed in a sort of a Y and couldn't move at all.

S then inserted a vibrator into my pussy and turned it on high. After that, I heard the hated sound of the lube being opened, and before long, his finger was invading me, lubing me up. Have I mentioned how much I despise that sensation? It just feels so WRONG! I tried to wriggle away and close my legs, but it was impossible. S then inserted the largest toy I own into the pre-lubricated hole. The first few attempts, I thought it was going to be too big to fit and I moaned and tried to fight it. But, after a minute or so, I felt it slipping inside me, spreading me wide as it went. S gave a satisfied "there!" and pushed it as far as it could go. All I could do was bury my head in the mattress and wail. He informed me that it would stay in for the next 15 minutes.

Then S decided that since my ass was presented so nicely and available to him, he just had to whip it. So I spent the next few minutes alternating between hating the sensation of the butt plug raping my ass and whimpering in pain from lashes of the whip. Then S. stopped and I breathed a sigh of relief, letting my body relax. It's over, I thought to myself when I heard him put down the whip. Thank goodness! But, only seconds later, my head whipped up and I literally let out a scream because, unbeknownst to me, S had picked up his belt and given me a huge whack with it. After that, I had to endure him going back and forth between the whip and the belt for a while until my ass was on fire and I was moaning "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow" into the mattress nonstop.

S then stopped and left the room for a little while and then returned. To my horror, he them proceeded to use fresh lemon slices to rub lemon juice into all the fresh welts on my ass. This was an idea he had gotten from another Dom we met on slaveduties' website named Dark Truth (If you're reading this DT, I hate you!) I had never experienced this before, and so I froze, wondering what it would feel like. For the first few seconds, it wasn't so bad. Just a mild tingling sensation and I thought I was going to get off easy. But then, the sensation got stronger and it started to really sting. The more time went by, the worse it got. :(

S. sat down on the bed next to me, using the side of my body to recline against and announced that now I had been given the lemon juice treatment, he was going to relax and cut his nails for the next 10 minutes until my time with the butt plug was up. I was outraged: By now, my ass was starting to really burn, and all I could think of was getting the plug OUT and washing OFF the damn lemon juice, and there he was, all comfy, doing his freaking nails?

I called him a bunch of names and wriggled about as much as I could on the bed, trying to body slam him. But S just laughed and told me to lie still. He informed me that if I kept moving, he'd add another 5 minutes to the anal training. So I had no choice but to lie there and hate him while the sensation of burning on my ass increased slowly with each passing minute. By the time 5 minutes had gone by, I was moaning and saying: "It burns! It hurts! It stings!!!!" S's only response was: "So?" Gah!

Finally, once S had finished doing his bloody fingernails (God I wanted to bite him!!!), he was merciful enough to apply ice to my ass, washing away most of the lemon juice and abating the horrible burning sensation that had been making me increasingly desperate. I still had to lie there for the next 5 minutes though, until he deemed that my time with anal training was sufficient.

When he FINALLY undid the restraints, I forced myself to my feet despite my dizziness. All I could think of was taking a shower and washing off the remains of the lemon juice immediately!!! Fortunately, S recognized my wobbly condition and walked me to the bathroom, and assisted me while I cleaned myself, making sure I didn't hurt myself. He then held me in his arms for a long time until I fell asleep.

Sadistic Games

Sometimes I wonder where in the world S comes up with these ideas! He never ceases to amaze me with the incredibly twisted scenarios he comes up with!!! As I sit here writing this, my left wrist is sprained, my knees are killing me, my hips ache and my neck is super stiff, oh and my ass hurts (what else is new? Since S. moved in, my ass hurts about 90 percent of the time. He sure does love his whips!)... all courtesy of the new game S. came up with to play with me last night.

So, where to begin? If you've been reading my blog, you know that last week, after S punished me for mouthing off to him about our sex life, he promised me a grueling game on Sunday and gave me a preview of it as a part of the punishment. But when we came back from camping on Sunday, we were both exhausted and nothing happened. We went merrily about our week and I figured he had forgotten all about it. Unfortunately for me, S. rarely forgets his promises...

So, last night, I was happily curled up in the tub with a book when S. cracked the door open and told me that the game was ready for me and that I should let him know as soon as my bath was done. Then he grinned wickedly and shut the door, while I stared after him with an open mouth. Dammit! I hadn't been expecting that at all! And I was kind of in the mood to just snuggle. But sadly, I don't get to make the choices about when we snuggle and when I have to play one of his sadistic games. Needless, to say, I spent the rest of my bath worrying about what was going to happen to me, instead of relaxing!

Finally, I gave up, and got out of the tub and dried off. I stood there, holding my towel around me for a minute, wondering if I should dress, but I figured S. would just immediately order me to undress again anyway, so there was no point. Timidly, clutching my towel, I opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway. I called out: "I'm done with my bath!"

"Good!" S. replied from the bedroom and ordered me to return to the bathroom and wait. I complied, and stood there, holding my towel tightly against me for comfort and protection. Before long, S. joined me in the bathroom and immediately blindfolded me, then left the room again. I clutched my towel tighter, and backed up a step or two, feeling very vulnerable. I soon heard his footsteps returning and then he commanded me to open my mouth. I did as he said, and felt the bit gag being inserted. He tightened it around the back of my neck and I bit down softly against the now familiar rubber bit, wondering what would come next. I didn't have long to wait, because I almost immediately felt the collar being fastened around my neck and then the click of the leash being attached to it.Gah... I always find being leashed particularly humiliating. Being led around like a dog just galls me.

"Get down!" S. commanded, with a tug on the leash. I hesitated for a moment and then dropped my towel, knowing I couldn't keep it around me while crawling on all fours. S. tugged again to encourage me to speed up and I got down on my hands and knees. S. told me to follow him and led me out of the bathroom, tugging the leash to urge me forward. Now this may sound stupid because I've lived here for ten years and I know the house very well but whenever I'm blindfolded, I seem to lose all my sense of orientation, so I have to feel my way forward, and am in constant fear of hitting a doorjamb or a wall or something. I can't explain it exactly, I think it's because I'm in such a vulnerable position, I'm not able to maintain a good grip on where I am in space while S. has me tied or on a leash. So I always seem to move slower than he would like, and become especially hesitant when approaching doorways. Of course, this always seems to make S. impatient and often results in being forcibly pulled forward by the leash or else being whipped until I increase my speed.

Anyway, after some hesitation, I made it through the doorway and into the hallway. S. then ordered me to stay put and explained the rules of the game to me:

"I've hidden a carabiner somewhere on the floor in each of three rooms: The hallway, the living room, and the bedroom. You will need to find the carabiner in each room. I'm going to insert ice into your pussy and it will serve as a countdown device. If you find the carabiner before the ice melts, then I will give you a hint about where the next one is hidden. If you don't find it in time, you will be whipped 10 times on each ass cheek before attempting the next room."

I groaned inarticulately in response. "What's the matter, slave?" S. taunted me. He seems to enjoy asking me questions when I'm gagged and can't respond. Grrr. I just shook my head and tried to steel myself for what was to come. I heard S. move behind me and I immediately tightened my legs together, dreading the freezing/burning sensation of the ice in such a sensitive area. S smacked me on the ass and said: "You better let me put the ice in: It's already melting! Time is running out!" Arrrgh! I hung my head and complied and within seconds, the painful sensation of ice directly against my clit had me gasping. Once S. was satisfied it was in place, he picked up the leash and urged me forward to start the game.

Groaning, I moved forward gingerly each movement grinding the ice in deeper and causing rivulets of melted water to drip down my inner thighs. Goosebumps broke out across my body. I swept my hands across the floor in front of me as I moved, using touch to search for the hidden carabiner. I felt all along the carpet, crawled across the hardwood floor, explored the doorways, tried to search behind the big basket that sits there, but nothing. By now, I was getting desperate: The ice was melting fast and I was in pain both from that and from the pressure on my knees as I moved repeatedly across the floor. I held out both hands helplessly, to signify that I couldn't find it.

"Keep hunting!" S. ordered me and yanked on the leash, forcing me back to all fours. I groaned and, in a desperate last attempt, ran my hand over the shoes that sit by the door. To my immense gratitude, I heard a sudden clink, and I frantically felt around the floor, until my fingers encountered metal at last. I closed my hand around it and held it up to show I had found it! S. checked the ice and there was still a sliver left! Thank god, I thought! I had narrowly avoided a whipping! S informed me that I would be given 3 minutes to rest between rooms, so I should take advantage of it. I eased myself off my aching knees and sat on my bottom, panting, and trying to prepare myself for the next room.

After what seemed like only 30 seconds, S. tugged on the leash, and forced me back to all fours. He led me to the living room and had me stop at the entrance. "There's something I haven't mentioned yet," he said with a sadistic smile in his voice, and I cringed, wondering what new twist was coming: "Each time you find a carabiner, it will be added to your body for the next room." I groaned, realizing what he had in mind. And, sure enough, within less than a minute, he had put the ankle cuffs on me and used the carabiner I had just found to shackle my ankles together. leaving only a couple of inches of space between them. This new complication would make it much more difficult for me to move with any speed and would make finding the next carabiner in the large space of the living room a lot more challenging.

"What's the matter, slave?" S taunted me. "The game would be boring if the difficulty didn't increase with each new level!" I shook my head mutely in disagreement, thinking to myself that the game was most certainly NOT boring for me: Searching for a small item in a large space while blindfolded, gagged and leashed, with ice in my pussy was quite exciting enough without adding shackles to the menu!!! But of course, my opinion doesn't matter, and so, I resigned myself to shuffling forward, pulling my chained ankles behind me.

S moved behind me again and I tried to prepare myself for the feeling of ice once more on my already sore pussy, but instead, I felt the vibrator being inserted deep inside me and turned on. I gasped at the sensation, and tried to adjust my position so it wasn't so distracting. S just pushed it in deeper and then added the ice cube so it sat right against my clit. "Uhhhhhhhhh" I moaned, arching my back. "Time to play!" S laughed at me and I felt the whip against my ass. My head whirling, I obediently moved forward, tentatively feeling ahead of and around me as I dragged my shackled ankles behind me. Each movement made the vibrator's distraction more intense and the cold water from the melting ice dripped down my legs once more. I was sweating from the stress and exertion, but I also had goosebumps from the freezing ice. I tried to speed up, afraid of the pain of the whip if I didn't find the carabiner in time, and my breath came in frantic gasps.

I moved across the entire living room in this way, without finding anything. Had I missed it? My head whirled. I was having a very difficult time focusing. By now my breaths were accompanied by desperate whimpers. I kept moving, knowing I probably had less than a minute left before the ice was completely gone. I rounded the coffee table and pivoted on already painful knees, and THERE! My hand encountered metal near the foot of the couch. I snatched it and held it up, shaking and whimpering.

S. praised me and verified that there was indeed a small sliver of ice left. "Good girl!" he said: "Now for the last room!"

Groaning in pain and exhaustion, I slowly crawled after him, trying to avoid putting pressure on the most painful areas of my knees, and favoring my left wrist which somehow had gotten sprained during one of our sessions last week and was now aching badly. My shackled ankles made moving at any speed difficult and so I crawled along slowly and painfully, until I finally reached the bedroom.

As I had feared, S informed me that the second carabiner would now be added to my body. I moaned loudly and shook my head vehemently. How in the world was I supposed to search the bedroom with BOTH my hands and feet bound together!!!??? But S. ignored my complaints, and got the wrist cuffs out. I pulled away several times when he was attempting to buckle them on, fighting him, and he yanked me sharply back into place, ordering me to be still. I was desperate by now, so I continued to resist, but to no avail: He's stronger than I am to start with and I was already exhausted, and I was soon on all fours once more with less than two inches of play between either my wrists or ankles. I wobbled there uncertainly, moaning softly to myself. How in the world was I supposed to search the room like this???

S. moved behind me and pushed the vibrator in more deeply, making me groan, and then I heard the telltale sound of a tube of lube being opened. I moaned loudly and shook my head again. I knew what was coming. Sure enough, I soon felt S's finger deep in my ass, lubing me up. I groaned, shook my head, and tried to pull away, but to no avail. God, I HATE that sensation. (S. has decided I'm to be trained again for anal use, so he's been using the hated plugs on me daily. Have I mentioned how much I HATE it??? ARGH!) I tried to steel my butt cheeks as a defense but couldn't keep it up for long. So, all too soon, the butt plug was deep inside me, and I writhed, hating the feeling of it invading my most private space. S. left to go wash his hands and then returned, and added the last piece of ice, making me shudder and cry out through the gag. I was very close to being spent. "Start searching!" he commanded and I tried desperately to comply, just wanting it to be over.

The bedroom isn't that big, but with both my wrists and ankles shackled, moving forward became an ordeal, and I had to stop and search each area slowly because I could no longer sweep my hands out in front of and around me: All I could manage was to search the floor area just in front of me. I started for the desk area and slowly and painfully felt around there. "Since you found the other two carabiners, I'll give you a hint:" S told me: "It's not in this part of the room."

I groaned and painfully pivoted on my agonized knees, turning to head back the other way. At this point, I realized that the only good thing about the ice was that I had left a trail of melted water across the hardwood floor behind me as it dripped down my thighs and I was now able to slide my knees across the floor on the wet surface without having to try to crawl one painful inch at a time. This sped up my return to the other side of the room considerably.

But, just as I was starting to feel better, S. brought the whip down sharply across my bare ass cheeks and I jumped and yelped in pain. "Keep searching!" He said in a cheerful voice and whipped me again. I moaned and tried to move forward faster, desperately searching each small area I could reach at a time.

I continued across the floor like this: Blind, gagged, leashed, with wrists and ankles shackled, my pussy on fire, the vibrator deep inside me distracting me, the butt plug making me crazy with every movement, and with the sharp crack of the whip hounding me forward. Let me tell you: With all that going on, just breathing would be a challenge!!! Trying to find a tiny piece of metal in a big room, is madness!!! I was finding it nearly impossible to think straight: Up until now, I had followed a nice systematic search pattern, but I was so frantic by this point, I just swept desperately in front of me, unsure of where I was, or what area I was searching. I was simply desperate to find the carabiner no matter what and end the agony. S continued relentlessly to whip me every few seconds, making me jump and cry out, losing track of whether I had just searched the floor in front of me or not. I sobbed through the gag and moved forward frantically trying to locate the carabiner.

I felt like I was in some kind of a never ending nightmare by this point. I had no idea where in the room I was: For that matter, I wasn't even sure I was in the bedroom any more! Most of my attention was on my knees which were in complete agony and the rest was focused on my ass which S was whipping more and more frequently. I barely remembered to search the floor as I moved forward, sobbing and whimpering with every movement.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of agony, when I reached the far end of the room, my shaking fingers randomly encountered metal, and I snatched it from the floor, holding it aloft in weak triumph, my body sagging against the side of the bed. I was trembling and whimpering. Things got pretty fuzzy after that. I know S. removed the gag, collar and leash and unhooked my wrists and ankles. He also removed the vibrator and butt plug (I despise the feeling of it being pulled out, but after that, oh my god, what a blessed relief not to be penetrated there!) I don't remember exactly how, but the next thing I was aware of, I was on the bed and he was connecting each of my wrists to my ankles, leaving me with my bare ass high in the air and my head down against the mattress. I soon felt him move behind me and penetrate me, pounding on me from behind.

This position seems to get me to cum faster than any other, and I soon was gasping as my face and chest were shoved hard into the mattress with each stroke. S. grabbed my hair and forcibly pulled my head up and back, causing my back to arch, and I came, and then collapsed back against the mattress, utterly spent. S. finished and then removed the shackles and held my trembling body for a long time until I was able to speak once again.

And so ends the recounting of yet another of S's wild games. I hope you enjoyed it! :) He is truly amazingly creative!!!

In Trouble...

Oh boy, I'm in trouble :(

Sunday night, S. told me that on Tuesday, I would have to insert the double vibrating bullets and use them on high for 10 minutes prior to each time I drove anywhere. Since I drive for work, he knew for sure that I would have to use the bullets at least 4 times during that day. I whined and complained, and argued about the logistics of carrying out his orders, but there was no changing his mind. So I gave up and tried to put it out of my mind until Tuesday.

Then Monday came, and I went off to work, but I wound up getting conjunctivitis. It started around midday with a slightly red and scratchy eye. Then it became worse and worse all afternoon and by Monday night, my eye was blood red and very itchy and uncomfortable. :(  I decided I needed to call the doctor first thing in the morning and see if I could get a prescription for some antibiotic eyedrops. I didn't even think about what S. had ordered me to do the following day because I was preoccupied with my eye, and he didn't bring it up either. 

Early this morning, I woke up and checked my eye in the mirror and, sure enough, it was all red and goopy and super itchy. So I called the doctor's office. It took several tries to get through, and when I finally did, the secretary told me they couldn't fit me in today. So I asked her to PLEASE get the doctor to at least fax a prescription for eyedrops to my pharmacy so my eye didn't get even worse overnight. She said she would check with the doctor and call me back to let me know.

I was mad that they couldn't fit me in and frustrated not knowing if I was going to get my prescription or not, so I dressed in a hurry and went off to work, feeling very grumpy. All I had on my mind were my itchy eye and the prescription. I didn't think about anything else. So, I got to work and worked steadily for several hours until S. texted me. We chatted briefly and then he suddenly asked:

"Wait a minute, did you perform the scenario with the double bullets?"

My heart nearly stopped when I read his words. I was like OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOO! I completely, totally forgot!!! :( :( :(  So I texted S. back and apologized profusely and said my mind had been full with thoughts of conjunctivitis and I totally forgot about it. And he hadn't reminded me!

His response came quickly: "It's not my job to remind you. You should have it in the back of your head after I command you to do something."

I couldn't argue with that I guess. So I felt awful! :( I kept apologizing. Then he told me I was going to be punished for not obeying him:

Tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm supposed to insert the Ben-Wa balls all day long from the time I leave for work, until the time I go to bed. And I cannot use any other toys or cum until the end of the following day on Thursday. This is a much much longer period of time than I have EVER used the Ben-Wa balls, and I know full well they are going to be making me completely insane within minutes after I insert them. I can't imagine dealing with them for something like 16 hours straight, more than half of which I'll be at work!!! :(

When I complained that I can't pee with them inside me, S. said that I can remove them for that, BUT the awful catch is that for every one minute they are out of me, he plans to multiply that minute by ten and make me have the largest butt plug inside me the next day for that period of time. :( :( :( So, in other words, if I have the Ben-Wa balls out for just 5 minutes to urinate, that means 50 minutes of torture the next day with the huge plug. :( :( :( Then he added that I have to also wear the anal beads to work all day on Thursday as well. :( :( :( And then, when I get home, instead of getting any relief, I'll have to exchange plugs for the total minutes I took the Ben-Wa balls out...multiplied by 10. :(

When I expressed my great dismay at being punished so severely for being distracted by my conjunctivitis and forgetting to do what he told me, S.'s response was: "You remember that I don't joke around with punishments. I'm not going to be soft on you any time soon." and "You poor thing. Maybe you will remember not to forget your scenario from now on, then." :(

All I know is that I must have really pissed him off, because this is a heck of a punishment for forgetting to do something! :(

January Flies By

Just a quick note tonight to let you all know I haven't forgotten about you or my blog :)

Things have just been very busy lately, and with S. back in his hometown, not so much to blog about.

It took over two weeks for the deepest bruises and marks on my body to fade away completely after S. left. The ones on my breasts lingered the longest. It was such a strange thing to see every time I bathed. An instant reminder of S. and everything that happened, and that it was REAL.

I've spent so many years dreaming of BDSM scenarios that sometimes it's hard to believe that the things that S. did with me actually happened and aren't just a part of some wild dream I had, you know? So the bruises and aches and pains were a great reminder that I didn't imagine him or dream up all of the events I wrote about. And that I am clearly the luckiest girl in the world! :)

Other than healing, the last few weeks have been pretty uneventful. I guess S. decided I needed time to recouperate after the time we spent together lol. So he let me be.

Until today, that is.

I had my phone set so I didn't hear him text me this morning. But he called me after a couple of hours, early this afternoon and demanded whether I'd seen his texts. I was like: Huh? What texts? I picked up my phone and checked and was like Ohhhhhhhh noooooooo... I totally was taken by surprise. His texts were a series of instructions for me to finger myself for 5 minutes out of every 30 minutes until he came home, and two 30 minute sessions with the butt plug. I hadn't been expecting anything like that at all, so I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me, reading his instructions.

Since I missed reading his texts when he sent them, he added a 30 minute session with a plug AND the Ben-Wa balls. Groan. AND forbade me to lie in bed with them: I could only sit in my hard wooden chair, or else walk around. Which means I had the choice between not putting pressure on the butt plug, but dealing with intense vibrations from the balls, or else keeping the balls still but having to cope with the intense pressure on the plug... damned if you do, damned if you don't... Argh! I wound up doing a bit of both...

So, needless to say it's been a bit of a crazy afternoon for me. I'm now VERY horny from all the fingering. But my ass is frankly killing me. Apparently four weeks of nothing being inserted back there makes for a very rough time getting back into the training process. When I finally removed the largest plug after the last 30 minute ordeal, I had to just lie on my bed for a long while, on my tummy, trying not to cry. It HURRRRRRRRRRRRTS! Argh.

On the other hand I guess I've been getting too feisty of late, and there's nothing like a crazy sore ass to remind me of my place... groan...I have a feeling I'm going to be a lot more submissive when I talk to S. later tonight.

Calling Him "Master"

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I have a hard time with titles like "Sir" and especially "Master". I wrote about it in several posts including this one: Titles...ewww! But S. greatly enjoys calling me "slave" and his mission in life is to have me call him "Master" all the time.

To date, I have only ever uttered the dreaded M... word once. And it was this summer when he kept whipping me until I finally broke (I need to write a post on that but haven't gotten to it yet). By the time he was done, my ass was on fire and I simply couldn't hold out any more so I wound up whispering the word in submission. But I haven't come remotely close to saying it since despite S. trying to get me to say it from time to time.

However, I knew that my stubbornness in this matter wasn't going to last on this trip as S. had promised me I WOULD call him "Master" again before the end of the trip. So here we were on the last night, and I knew what was coming although I couldn't anticipate the exact format it would take. All I knew is that I was determined not to say that word and that S. was equally determined to get me to say it. And unfortunately for me, since S. is the Dom, I knew I was probably going to be put through a lot of pain before the night was out, until I finally broke and said it again.

And so it began...

S. placed me on my knees on the bed, with my legs spread and then attached wrist and ankle cuffs. He connected each wrist to the corresponding ankle so that my ass was high in the air and I couldn't move to protect myself in any way. I squirmed a bit, but quickly stopped, because in that position, all squirming accomplishes is making my legs slide farther apart, making me even more vulnerable to whatever S. might choose to do.

To my surprise, S. attached the bit gag to me. But he explained as he did: "I am going to keep this gag on you until you are ready to call me Master." I groaned through the gag and buried my face on the mattress. S. grabbed my hair and yanked my hair so my head was forced up and back and told me that he would keep going until I called him Master tonight.

S. then slid off the bed and I could hear him rummaging in the toy box. He pulled something out, and I soon heard a vibrator and felt him push the head of it against my pussy. I jumped and groaned in pleasure as he pushed it deeply into my pussy until it was lodged there, and left it there on high. I heard him returning to the toy box once more. I was pretty sure that he was getting the flicker whip: The one that hurts like crazy and leaves welts everywhere and sure enough, I soon heard a whistling sound through the air and the first crack hit my right cheek. I jumped and groaned in pain, curling my fingers and toes to try to steel myself for the next impact.

S. continued to work on my ass with the whip, alternating cheeks and making me gasp and moan in pain. Occasionally, he would stop and come over to my head and pull my hair until he could see my face and demand whether I was ready to submit yet. Each time, I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head in denial. And he would resume the whipping. It was a crazy sensation with the vibrator in my pussy because each time the lash hit my sensitive skin, I would convulse and involuntarily clench all my muscles, including my internal ones, causing a wave of pleasure inside my pussy at the same time as the sharp pain from the crack of the whip. The simultaneous pleasure and pain was making me crazy!

About halfway through this, S. stopped and rummaged in the toy box again. I wondered what was in store for me now, and I soon heard the dreaded sound of lube being squeezed out and I knew what was coming next. Sure enough, I felt his fingers invading my anus and I moaned and tried to squirm away, only succeeding in spreading my legs even farther apart. Before I could recover, S. pushed the largest plug all the way in, making me moan loudly. Then he resumed the whipping, pausing from time to time to press against the plug and shove it in even more deeply. Because I still had the vibrator inside me, both the plug and the vibrator rubbed against one another, causing the vibrations to invade my anus as well and I writhed from the sensations of pain, pleasure and fullness that I was helpless to stop.

My ass was on fire by the time S. was finished, but I still refused to utter the dreaded M.. word. I honestly cannot explain this very well, other than to say that there is something in me that just balks at the idea of calling anyone that. And, even if I'm in significant pain, it's extremely difficult for me to even contemplate uttering that word. I guess S. decided that it was time to change tactics because he removed the vibrator, leaving the plug inside me, disconnected my wrists from my ankles, and ordered me off the bed. I complied shakily and followed him to the foot of the bed.

"Kneel!" he commanded me, and I dropped to my knees once more, my body shaking from the abuse it had already taken. S. then proceeded to attach my ankle restraints to the spreader bar so my knees were spread far apart and then attached my wrist cuffs to the bedframe on either side so my arms were spread wide, turning me into a giant X, and unable to move in any direction.

At this point, my knees were really starting to hurt, my ass was killing me, The anal plug had been in for quite a while by now, and my anus was really starting to ache, and I was shaking quite a bit. My head was spinning too, so when S. approached me with the blindfold, I shook my head back and forth, trying to escape it. But of course, I couldn't, and I was soon engulfed in darkness, unable to anticipate what would come next. I chewed fretfully on the bit gag and tried to regain some composure, but I could feel myself slipping further into subspace.

S. made me wait for a few seconds, and then I heard the sound of the whip whistling through the air. I tried desperately to bring my arms together to protect myself and to huddle forward but the restraints prevented me from doing so and I took the full impact of the lash directly across my breasts. I cried out in pain and my body shook. Before I could even breathe again, S. hit me again, catching me directly on the left breast and making me gasp in agony. He kept this up for a while until my entire body was shaking from head to toe and then he paused to ask whether I was ready to submit and call him "Master" yet. The pain all over my body was intense, but something within me just refused to break and I shook my head in defiance, while dreading the continued punishment that would follow.

S. reached behind my head and removed my gag, causing drool to drip down my chest and told me that he would just continue with the whipping and I could submit and call him Master any time I was ready. He then returned to the toy box and I heard the sound I had been fearing the most: The metal clink of the nipple clamps. I hate the clamps! They are excruciatingly painful!!!! The bite of them against my sensitive nipples is nearly unbearable under normal circumstances and the thought of having to endure them now that my breasts were inflamed and swollen from the whipping was nearly too much to bear.

S. came over to me and I felt his hand tease my left nipple, making it harden, and then he attached the metal clamp directly onto it. I couldn't help the loud "OWWWWWWWWWWW!" that escaped my lips as the pain made me break out in goosebumps and convulse against the restraints. Seconds later, I felt him repeating the process with my right nipple and I another "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" issued from me as that clamp bit deeply into my delicate flesh. At this point, I think I was crying. It just hurt so freaking much!!!

Then I heard S. Leave the room for a few moments and I straine my ears, trying to make out what he was doing. To my dismay, I was able to identify the sound of the freezer door and ice cubes clinking. By the time he returned to the bedroom, I was moaning and shaking my head back and forth. He laughed when he saw me and I soon heard him close in front of me. I tried desperately to close my legs to protect my pussy but the spreader bar kept me stretched wide open and S. wasted no time in pressing the ice cube directly into my clit, making me gasp and moan. I tried to sway my hips away from him but the bedframe prevented it, and he pushed the ice deeper until my lips closed around it and it was stuck in place.

At this point, I was very close to my breaking point and I knew it: my ass was on fire, my knees ached, my shoulders and wrists were strained from my yanking desperately on my restraints, my nipples were sending unbelievable waves of pain through my body and the ice was causing an intense freezing, burning sensation in my clit that was almost too much to bear.

S. then picked up the whip and started once more to lash my tortured breasts. I was crying out with each impact as both the area of the lash hurt like crazy and my nipples that were being jerked around with the clamps and chain connecting them swinging around from my convulsions were too much to bear. It was at that point that I broke, and the next time S. paused and asked me if I was ready to submit yet, I hung my head and nodded.

It took several deep breaths before I could force myself to say the hated word: "M...M...Master," I finally managed in a croak.

"Louder!" he commanded.

"M...Master!" I repeated obediently in a louder tone, submitting completely to his will, unable to hold out any more.

This finally satisfied S. and he removed the nipple clamps, causing a fresh wave of pain as the blood rushed back into my abused flesh and I collapsed onto my hands and knees as soon as he disconnected the restraints from the footboard. S. moved around me removing all four cuffs, the blindfold, and finally taking out the anal plug. He then helped me to my feet and guided me to the bed.

I was deeply in subspace at this point and curled up in the bed with his arms around me in a somewhat catatonic state. S. held me gently and patted my cheek and hair, telling me how much he loved me. It took a while for me to be able to even open my eyes, or respond to him in any way. He kept telling me he loved me, but all I could manage back was to nod my head against his chest.

Finally, after a long time had passed, and my shaking had stopped, I felt a bit better and was just floating in S.'s arms. This is my favorite part: I feel so loved and cherished and cared for in those moments. S. is always so kind and gentle and I would do just about anything in the world for him right then. So, when I heard him say once more: "I love you!" I curled the corner of my lips into a small smile and clung tighter to his chest and whispered back:

"I love you too, Master!"

Inventory of Pain

S. just left: I dropped him off at the airport at noon for his flight home.

I cried when we said goodbye.

Of course, I cried, as I held him close and inhaled his wonderful scent for the last time until Spring. He is the love of my life, and my heart and body ache for him already, although we have barely been separated for over an hour. My house and arms feel empty without him here. He is the most wonderful man in the world. He has made my dreams come true. He is perfect for me. I am eternally grateful for him, now and every single day.

So now I sit here, in my bed, with my laptop propped on my knees, missing his warm presence beside me, and inventorying my many abrasions, contusions, and sore areas. S. sure put me through a gauntlet these past few day! I can't remember ever being so sore all over!

Let's see:

- My jaw aches from having gags pushed into my mouth, especially the ball gag I had to wear while preparing a meal for him yesterday. Whenever I open my mouth wide to yawn, eat, drink, or brush my teeth, it aches, and I have to quickly shut it again.

- My knees are tender and bruised all over from days of kneeling and crawling on all fours all over my apartment, which mainly consists of hardwood floors.

- My palms are bruised and have a few small scratches from crawling on all fours while leashed and being led by S.

-My wrists are bruised and scratched from me yanking on the restraints so fiercely last night when he attached the nipple clamps.

- My neck and shoulders ache from having my arms stretched wide and attached behind and above me to the footboard while I knelt on the floor.

- My ass screams at me every time I sit down, as it is covered in multiple days worth of welts, all criss-crossing one another.

- My anal area still feels sore and stretched from having the giant butt plug in me last night.

- The area between my pussy and anus still aches and it burns like crazy every time I pee, from being rubbed raw by the bondage rope harness chafing against it.

- My breasts sting with the slightest movement and also bear numerous welts from the whip.

- My nipples are incredibly tender and bruised from the cruel bite of the nipple clamps.

...Oh, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life!!!

:)

The Game

I'm still reeling from this evening. I've never experienced anything like it. So I'll do my best to describe it all. Not sure if I can begin to do it justice though. I'll try...

Today, I had to go to work all day. It sucked to leave S. at my house in the morning. I told him he should help himself to anything and rest. Of course, as always, he had his own ideas, and while I was working, I got a series of text messages from him informing me that he was taking care of my pet, sweeping the steps and path clear from snow, salting the path, doing my dishes, hunting for my mop, etc.      

After work, I went straight home, and it was wonderful to come home to S.! :) What a treat to walk in the door and into his arms!!! We talked and snuggled for a while on the couch, talking about our days, and then I went to take a bath. S. told me that he had an "Event" prepared for me after my bath and that I shouldn't bother putting my clothes back on once I was finished. Needless to say, I spent most of my bath, wondering and worrying about what in the world S. had planned for me. My imagination was running pretty wild!!!

When I finished, I dried myself off, and then opened the door and stood there, clutching my towel against myself for some measure of reassurance, and feeling great trepidation about what might be about to happen. S. immediately approached the door with a blindfold in hand and placed it over my eyes. Have you ever been blindfolded when wet and naked? Talk about feeling vulnerable!!! I stood there. now blind, still holding my towel tightly against me, and listened as S. walked away from and then came back.

He commanded me to open my mouth, and I felt the pacifier gag (the one that makes me drool uncontrollably) pushed deep into my mouth. He fastened it tightly and then told me to turn around. I obeyed and felt a leather collar pulled tight and buckled around my neck, followed by a leash being clipped to it.

S. then spun me back around and told me: "Get on your hands and knees. I dropped my towel, and hesitated for a moment, but he put his hands on my shoulders, and pushed me toward the floor so I submitted and dropped to all fours. I felt him step behind me into the bathroom and bend down. He began speaking:

"Here are the rules, slave. We are going to play a little game. I've hidden some of your toys around various parts of the house. Your job is to find them. I am going to insert a vibrating bullet and use the controller to indicate whether you are hot or cold when you are searching for each toy. The lowest setting means cold, medium means you are getting warmer, and high means you are very close to a toy. But here's the catch: Once you find the toy, I will use it on you until you find the next toy."

I remained there, on all fours, swaying slightly, trying to take all of this in. "Do you understand, slave?" S. demanded. I nodded and grunted "Uh-huh" through the pacifier gag, already trying hard not to drool. Next thing I knew, S. barked "Spread your legs, slave!" at me and I tried to comply by spreading my legs farther apart. But apparently it wasn't sufficient because I almost immediately felt his hands pushing my knees even farther apart. Then I felt his fingers pushing a bullet vibrator deep into my pussy. He paused,before and after inserting it, to tease my clit with his fingers and I gasped and tried not to close my legs. then I heard something I couldn't identify and next thing I knew, his finger was in my ass, spreading lube inside me. I groaned and tried to move away, but got pulled up short by the leash. Before I could process what was happening, S. slipped the second bullet from my double bullet vibrator into my ass. Having just experienced vibration in my ass for the first time yesterday, I knew it was going to drive me completely crazy.

Once S. finished inserting both bullets, he stood up and I pulled my legs in to a more comfortable position, my knees already starting to ache a bit against the hard tile bathroom floor. "Okay, let's start this on low" announced S. and he turned on the bullets, causing me to jump as a steady low vibration filled both my pussy and my anus. "Let's go slave!" I felt the crop tap against my bare ass, and I unsteadily moved forward on all fours, blind and gagged, leashed and with the vibrating bullets deep inside me. I moved slowly, already disoriented, and feeling tentatively in front of me with my hands as I progressed. Before long, I felt the vibration in my anus and pussy increase and I knew I must be getting warmer. I made a guess as to the direction I should go and started to turn toward where I thought the living room was, but I was immediately pulled up short by the leash and the vibration slowed again. So I turned back to my original path along the hallway, feeling completely helpless and humiliated to be controlled by a combination of a leash and vibrations in my most private parts.

A few more feet and the vibrations inside me turned to high, and I knew I must be close. I had no idea what toy I was near or whether it was on the floor or somewhere else. Plus, I was finding it difficult to focus with the vibrator on the high setting. I reached out tentatively with one hand and felt around me. Soon my fingers encountered something on the floor and I let my fingers explore it. It only took a few seconds and I immediately emitted a muffled groan through my gag: I had felt metal and a metal chain. Without a doubt, I knew these were the dreaded and very painful nipple clamps. And according to S.'s rules, I knew that he was about to use them on me.

S. heard my muffled groan and said: "What's the problem, slave? If you didn't want me to use them against you, then you shouldn't have found them!" He turned the vibrating bullets off and ordered me to kneel. He then teased each nipple until it was hard by sucking on it and then attached the clamps. They HURT!!!! And I wasn't even moving yet! :( I was just dreading what would happen when I started to crawl with them on!!! But I also knew it would be to my advantage to do it quickly in order to find the next toy and have the clamps removed. 

Once S. was satisfied that the clamps were tight enough, he took up the leash and remote for the bullets once again and set the vibration to low once again. I was in the hallway but not entirely sure which way I was facing at this point, and unsure of where to move. So I simply started to move forward once again. But I was immediately brought up by a tug on the leash, and a steady pressure on the collar, pulling me toward the right, so I slowly spun until the tugging around my neck stopped. By this point, I was really disoriented and unsure of where I was or what to do next. My nipples were aching pretty badly and the low grade vibration in my pussy and anus were distracting me as well. So I hesitated, unmoving. But not for long: I soon felt the crop swing against my ass and I started and moved obediently forward once again, feeling like some sort of pack animal.

I felt myself cross a threshold and knew from the feeling of the rug under my fingers that I was in the living room. I felt the vibrations increase to medium and moved forward slightly more confidently. My nipples were starting to kill me with the chain from the clamps swinging back and forth with each movement and causing more pain. I wanted them off as soon as possible! So I crawled forward, feeling my way until the vibration increased to high. Having learned from my previous experience, I stopped short and began to explore the area around me with my fingers, searching for something that shouldn't be there. It took me a few moments, but my hand eventually encountered some type of fabric. I was confused: I don't have any fabric toys and yet it shouldn't be there on the living room floor. Puzzled, I pulled the fabric closer and felt the drag on it. Something heavier than the fabric was being dragged on it. So I felt around the fabric and my fingers finally closed on a long hard plastic object with a double bulb: One partway along it and the other at the end. I immediately recognized one of my vibrator toys with a secondary bulb for clit stimulation.

"Very good, slave." Now I get to use this on you for 5 minutes before you move on to look for the next toy," S. announced. He bent down and released the nipple clamps. I had expected to feel relief once they were off, but instead the pain doubled as the blood rushed to my abused nipples, causing me to cry out in pain. Before I could recover, S. moved behind me and pulled out the bullet in my pussy, replacing it immediately with the vibrator on full power. I stood there, on all fours, my nipples screaming at me, and tried not to sway as I felt the vibrator inserted deep inside me, the nub stimulating my clit. S. kept varying the positions the toy was in, never giving me a chance to adjust. He called out the minutes as they ticked by: "Three more minutes, two more, one more minute, slave." Before he was done, I came: A small orgasm that nevertheless caused me to gush fluid. The feeling of being blindfolded, gagged and leashed, and unable to control anything that was happening to me, made my head reel. Once the five minutes were up, S. removed the toy and replaced the bullet once more.

"Time to keep going, slave!" He announced. I hesitated again, my head spinning, but moved forward again as soon as he applied the crop to my bare ass. I was now moving across the living room to the other side. I could feel the vibration go from slow to medium and then to high as I altered my course slightly. Knowing I was close, I halted, and started hesitantly to feel around me. I was trying to think what toy I might encounter next. My nipples ached and my pussy tingled. I was having a difficult time focusing. Eventually, my fingers encountered something long and thin and I moaned and shook my head back and forth in denial, having recognized the flicker whip. My ass was already pretty sore from the previous night and I dreaded having to endure a whipping while blindfolded, gagged, leashed, and on all fours.

"That's right. You know what that is," S told me, a smirk in his tone. I waited for the vibrator to at least be turned back off but he left it at full throttle: "the bullets will remain on high until I am done with this next part, he informed me. I hung my head a bit and tried to brace myself for what was to come. A whistling sounded through the air and the first impact hit my already tender right butt check. I moaned through the gag as pain traveled through my body. S. soon followed it with a second to my left cheek. he continued to whip my ass cheeks in turn but without a clear pattern so I couldn't anticipate him: One on the left, two on the right, three on the left, one on the right, etc.

By the time he was done, I was trembling convulsively and wondering how in the world I was going to continue this game of his. My pussy was tingling from having just cum and the sensation of the bullets in my pussy and anus on high. And my ass was on fire, the new welts stinging like crazy. My knees and shoulders ached and I was completely disoriented and pretty close to being in full fledged subspace.

"Turn around, slave," S. commanded me. And I felt the vibrator return to low once again, giving me a blissful break from the constant stimulation. I quickly turned at the tug on the leash, afraid that any hesitation would earn me a slap from the crop on my already painful ass. S. must have sensed that I was fading and becoming more disoriented by this point, because he added some verbal directions as I crawled forward, telling me to return through the doorway and then crawl through into the bedroom. I obeyed, my sore knees protesting and felt the bullets change to medium vibrations as soon as I entered. I moved tentatively to the left, toward the desk, and was rewarded by increased vibes. Once I got right up to the desk, the stimulation was on high once more and I knew I was close. I reached around me, desperate to find whatever it was that was nearby, hoping it might be the final toy I had to find. But I couldn't locate anything around me.

S. took pity on me and told me: "Check the chair, slave. You know where the chair is." So I reached up and did. My fingers followed the legs of the chair to the seat, and there I touched a foreign object: A quick feel informed me that the silicone bulbous shape under my fingers was the largest butt plug. I moaned in despair and felt drool slide down my chin, as I was still unable to swallow from having the pacifier gag inserted and it was now starting to overflow.

S. didn't give me a chance to prepare. He pulled the bullet out of my anus and immediately inserted the large plug, pushing against it to be sure that it was deeply seated. I groaned at the additional pressure on my knees and the sensation of fullness deep into my ass. "You better hurry up and find the next toy then, hadn't you, if you want the plug out," S. taunted me. "You have one more toy to find before the game is over," he informed me. So I turned away from the desk and once again resumed my slow crawl across the floor. I felt my leash being yanked to the left this time so I moved toward the other side of the bedroom and the vibrations, now in my pussy only since the plug had replaced the anal bullet, increase from low to medium, and then to high. The remaining bullet, trailed on the floor, making a tremendous racket as it vibrated against the wood. "Tsk, tsk, what WILL the neighbors think!?" S. taunted me, causing me to push my exhausted body forward even faster.

I searched around desperately for the next and final toy, my fingers sliding over the floorboards until my hand bumped into a large and heavy object. I quickly identified it as the Hitachi wand. I simultaneously felt fear and relief. I was relieved because it wasn't a toy that caused pain, but was also afraid because I had never experienced someone else using the wand on me and my pussy was already so swollen, I thought I might go out of my mind when S. turned it on.

S. commanded me to turn around 180 degrees and guided me with a steady pull on the leash until I was positioned to his satisfaction. Then I heard him sit down behind me. "I'm going to use the wand on you for 7 minutes, he informed me: 3 and a half on low and 3 and a half on high." Seven minutes may not sound like much, but it usually takes me less than two to cum with the Hitachi wand just on the low setting even when I'm not at all aroused to start with. And I pretty much turn it off the instant I start to cum because I can't stand the stimulation once I'm that aroused. I couldn't imagine what 7 minutes with it being pressed into my pussy was going to feel like. My head was spinning and I panted through the gag.

S. commanded me to spread my legs once more and I struggled to comply. My knees were killing me by now and my entire body was still trembling from the earlier whipping. I felt as if none of my joints had any strength left in them. My ass was on fire, the welts stinging fiercely, my nipples still ached dully and I had drool dripping down my chin. I was prevented from moving my neck freely by the restricting leather collar and leash, and I was already halfway to subspace. I had never felt so vulnerable, exposed or helpless in my life.

I pushed my protesting body to assume the position S. had commanded and tried to brace myself for the Hitachi wand. I have a head attachment on it that allows one part to be inserted deeply, while the main head remains against the clit, stimulating it directly. I felt S. push the attachment into my pussy and shove it in as deeply as it would go. He then adjusted the head of the wand so it was directly against my clit and turned it on low. "Three and a half minutes," he said.

As the powerful vibrations began, I nearly lost it and pulled my legs closed, but I somehow managed to remain in position. The sensation was crazy. To have that level of stimulation being wielded against me by someone else when my body and mind were already completely spent was insane. I was completely defenseless and I simply gave myself over to the stimulation. I tried hanging my head and arching my back upward to steady myself a bit, but S. immediately grabbed my long pony tail and yanked my head all the way back so my pussy was even more exposed and I had no way to brace myself at all.

At this point, I lost all control and a river of drool pooled down my chin continuously as I began to cum hard. Usually I would have immediately turned off the wand, but that wasn't going to happen tonight. Instead, my now aching clit and pussy continued to be assaulted by the powerful vibrations of the wand and I moaned, groaned, whimpered, and writhed, as much as the gag would allow. S. continually moved the head of the wand around, preventing numbness from setting in, or allowing me to become accustomed to any particular stimulation.

"Now three and a half minutes on high," he announced. I had expected him to turn the wand off and then switch it on high, giving me a chance to brace myself. But, instead, he immediately switched it onto the most powerful level making me gasp and pant. At this point, I think I was pretty much cumming continuously, unable to stop. My entire body shook as the waves took over my body and I just tried to endure until the time was up. I could hear the drool rushing down my chin as I salivated helplessly and the drops land in a puddle on the floor before me. It was humiliating to know that I was gushing from both ends and completely unable to stop myself.

Finally, S. turned off the wand and let go of my hair and I hung my head, completely spent, tremors shaking my entire body. It's over, I thought to myself. I did it. Thank God! But little did I know, S. had one more thing in store for me. I heard him move around to the front of me and he removed first the collar and leash, and then the ball gag. "Wow, look at that puddle of drool on the floor," he mocked me, "you are a dirty slave!" I moaned and tried turn my head away, but as I was still blindfolded, I wasn't sure where away was.

I expected S. to remove the blindfold next and tell me it was over, but instead he commanded me to kneel up. I pushed my aching, trembling body upward and complied. I could feel him standing very close in front of me, and as he removed the pacifier gag, he snapped "Keep your mouth open" before I had a chance to rest my aching jaws. I obeyed, now getting some idea about what he was up to, and immediately felt his cock inserted into my mouth. "Suck, slave!" he commanded me. I steadied myself by holding onto S's hips as I complied, sucking hard on his cock which immediately grew enormous, filling my mouth completely.

I continued to suck and use my tongue, alternating the two sensations I know please him the most, until he grabbed my head and pulled my face back and forth, face fucking me. I tried hard not to gag (I have a very sensitive gag reflex) and continued to try to please him as he thrust more and more deeply into my mouth. Finally, when I thought I wouldn't be able to keep my jaws open another second, he withdrew himself from my mouth and came explosively over my chest and belly. I have never felt so much cum in my life! I was still blindfolded, and it felt as if three men were cumming on me at once! Every time I thought he must be done, another load of hot cum hit my chest, dripping down me.

Finally, S. expended his load, and stood there, panting, with me kneeling before him, cum and drool dripping freely from my body, trembling from head to toe. He reached down and removed the blindfold at long last and I blinked up at him briefly before shutting my eyes again. I was deep in subspace and unable to handle any more stimulation.

"You can stand up now...if you can," S. told me, as I knelt at his feet, swaying and shaking helplessly. I staggered to my feet and stood there completely disoriented and unable to keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds at a time. S. seemed to realize my condition and he led me gently to the bathroom and helped me into the tub, running the hot water high to fill the tub up fast. All I could do was sit there and shake. I'm not exactly sure what happened after that. I remember him asking me something about what kind of soap I preferred but I was completely unable to speak or even process the question, so he must have chosen one for me. I remember the feeling of a washcloth on my skin, gently washing me all over. I remember the trembling slowly abating. I kept leaning toward the outside of the tub, wanting to be close to him. After a bit, S. sat on the edge of the tub and I was able to press my forehead into his lap while he bathed me. That calmed me down more than anything.

Once he was done cleaning me, S. allowed me to sit in the hot water for some time and I clung to him as he sat on the edge of the tub, with my head in his lap. This felt better than anything: Just being close to him. I felt the trembling slowly abate and then finally stop completely. I opened my eyes for a few seconds at a time, and then more frequently. Eventually, (I have no idea how long), I was able to open my eyes all the way and look up at him. At that moment, I pretty much would have done anything in the world he told me to.

S. was so sweet and he held my face and covered me with gentle kisses and told me I was beautiful and talked to me until I started to come back to myself some more. He then helped me out of the tub and dried me off before leading me back to the bedroom and getting me under the covers with him cuddled beside me. Again, I have no idea how long we were there, but I slowly regained control of my mental and physical faculties and after a while, I was able to talk about the experience and begin to analyze it a little bit. S. continually kissed me and told me he loved me. :)

After quite some time, I was finally able to sit up and told him I was fine to go cook dinner now. So he went off to take his own bath and clean up. I went to the kitchen and made dinner, but I soon realized that I wasn't even close to being back to normal yet. I dropped every other thing I picked up, and when it was time to set the table, it took me several minutes to puzzle out whether I should place spoons or forks at the settings (this shouldn't have been a difficult decision since we were eating soup, but at the time it seemed too complex a question for my exhausted brain to cope with). I felt a deep exhaustion in my joints, and so I asked S. if he would carry the soup out for me because I was frankly afraid that, in my state of disorientation and exhaustion, I would most likely drop it.

S. kindly did bring the bisque to the table for us, and we ate and then watched a movie. But within minutes of the start of the film, I could barely keep my eyes open. S. noticed this and asked if I wanted to put my head on his lap. I said yes please!!! This was exactly what I had been desperately wishing for (isn't he the best Dom in the entire world?) and I was soon cuddled in his lap, with his arms around me. I dozed on and off for the next hour or so, waking periodically as he gently kissed my face. And when I woke up, I felt refreshed and better able to function.

It's now late at night and I need to get to sleep. S. is already in bed beside me, fast asleep, looking completely adorable and heartbreakingly sexy. I long to cuddle beside him and feel his warm skin next to mine. But this experience was so completely overwhelming, I just had to get it out. I've always processed things by writing about them, and this was something I needed to do before I could rest.

My final words before I go sleep beside my beloved Dom are gratitude: I am so very very very grateful to have a partner who cares about me so deeply, who is so creative and thoughtful in planning things for me, who can read me and knows when to push and when to be gentle, and most especially who provides the best aftercare in the world! I am humbled and blessed and eternally grateful for my S. I am completely head over heels in love with him. I hope to spend every minute of the rest of the life with him.

First Anal & Bondage Harness

We drove home on Sunday after one final gourmet breakfast and checking out of the inn, and spent a lovely afternoon at home, cuddling in front of the TV, watching movies. S. kept up the routine of playing with my nipples nonstop so I was very very very horny by the time the movie ended and all wet. He seems to delight in keeping me constantly horny and then teases me about what a “dirty slave” I am, and tells me he doesn’t understand why I’m wet all the time.

I’d been asking S. if I could have the privilege of washing him when he took a bath for the last couple of days, but he kept saying no. But he did call me in after his bath that afternoon and tossed me a towel and said, “Dry me, slave!”  I was so happy to be able to serve him in that way!  I carefully used the towel to dry every inch of him. I did his top first and then knelt and dried his legs and then his cock and balls very very carefully. He turned around so I repeated the procedure for his backside as well. Then I checked to make sure that he was pleased with the way I had done it. He was! J It made me smile a lot!!! S. knows that I have a terrible time with any type of titles and he’s promised me that I will call him “Master” again before he leaves. But he knew I wouldn’t say it so easily. So he commanded me to say “Thank you, Sir.” After drying him off. I flushed bright red and stared at the floor and said “Thank you, Sir.” In a tiny voice.  I hoped that would be good enough. But apparently it wasn’t: S. grabbed my hair and forced my head up to face him, saying “Look at me!” I stared into his eyes, unable to move my head away, and he said: “Now say it again.” I cut my eyes away a couple of times, gathering my courage and then repeated “Thank you, Sir” in my small voice and he was finally satisfied. He let go of my hair and I immediately looked at the floor once more.

After that, the rest of the evening became progressively more interesting.  S. had indicated earlier that day that he wished for me to cook him lamb chops so I happily did. It was his first time tasting lamb and he loved it!!!! It makes me so very happy to be able to please him in that way! :D After that, S. decided that he wanted to do the dishes for me. I keep telling him that he isn’t supposed to be doing any work at all! That I can and will happily do absolutely everything for him!!! But I guess he has his own ideas on the topic lol. Because he told me that he was the Dom and could do whatever he wanted and that if I didn’t shut up and learn my place, I could kneel in the kitchen doorway and watch him in silence until he was done with the dishes. So after that, I stopped voicing my objections, although I still felt very very twitchy and useless, watching him move around my kitchen cleaning up for me!!!!

Then things got kind of crazy. We went to the bedroom and he put the spreader bar back on me. I was on my hands and knees, so the bar spread me very wide back there. Then S. attached the wrist restraints and used the bondage rope to attach the wrist restraints to the center of the bondage bar, running the rope between my arms and legs. I was still on all fours, bent over with my ass in the air, but the difference was that I couldn’t take a header off the bed or move away now that my wrists and ankles were connected. He then inserted the bit gag, and proceeded to whip my ass soundly. It hurt! He moved very quickly and I didn’t hear him pick up the whip, so the first lash took me completely by surprise. When it hit, I jumped so hard, my hands and knees all left the bed simultaneously. S. enjoyed that. And with the spreader bar, I couldn’t even wiggle from side to side, the way I normally do, and the bondage rope prevented me from lunging forward either. By the time he was done, my ass HURT and I had drooled all down my chin. S. would come over periodically and yank my head up by the hair and ask how I was doing. With the gag in place, and halfway in subspace, all I could do was groan unintelligibly back.

After he was done placing welts all over my ass, S. inserted the largest butt plug once again, causing me to moan. Then he brought out the double bullet vibrator. He placed the first bullet deep inside my pussy, and then used the second one in a way I would never have anticipated: He held it right against the base of the butt plug, causing the entire plug to vibrate deep in my ass! I about lost it when he did that. I groaned, and squirmed and wiggled as far as the spreader and restraints would let me, which wasn’t far at all. Despite all my desperate movements,  S. continued to press the bullet right against the plug, making me crazy with the vibration deep inside my ass.  The sensation was simply insane, and I wasn’t sure I could stand it, but I had no other choice. So S. continued to torment me until he was satisfied, while I wriggled, moaned and groaned desperately fighting it. When he was FINALLY done, he removed the restraints and let me recover for a while.

Later on that night, S. became very hard while we were cuddling in bed, and decided it was time for my first session of anal. So he had me kneel on the edge of the bed with my ass presented and spread my legs. I did as I was told. In a way, this was harder than anything yet, because I’ve been so terrified of anal and there were no restraints keeping me in place. I had to use sheer willpower not to bolt away from him, and lock my muscles in place instead. My heart was beating so very hard, I thought it would explode. I could hear S. behind me, putting on a condom and I started trembling in fear of what was to come. I buried my head in the comforter and gripped it in both fists, and just tried to hang in there and not move. Then I heard the lube bottle and next thing I knew, his finger was deep in my ass. It’s bad enough having something inserted in there, but the in and out, in and out sensation is enough to make me want to leap through the nearest window, glass and all. But I knew I had to remain still, so I grit my teeth, arched my back, and did.

I could hear him lubing up his cock and fought the urge to turn around and peek to see how wide he was. I was so afraid that this was going to hurt terribly! Then, the next thing I knew, his cock was in my ass!!!!!! It was so fast!!! Not at all what I had expected! I had imagined it having to be pushed in slowly and ripping my anus apart as it went. But it was inside me in the flash of an instant and S. started pounding against me. The in and out sensation was pretty awful, but I was so insanely relieved that it wasn’t horribly painful, I remained still and didn’t move until he was done. By this time, I was most of he way into subspace: The willpower it had taken for me to submit and remain in position without bolting away had completely drained me, and after spending so much time on my hands and knees recently, my trembling muscles ached.

When S. went to the bathroom to wash and clean up, I just collapsed a little onto the bed on my belly with my legs still bent and spread. By the time he came back, I was still that way, just trying to remember how to breathe. He came over and asked me some questions about the experience, but all I could do was mostly nod or shake my head.  As always, when I am in subspace, S. took care of me. He sat on the bed and let me curl up with my head on his lap. He patted and stroked me and told me he loved me and made me feel safe until I was able to sit up and speak again. (I never have any sense of time when this happens so I have no idea how long it took).

Once I was better, S. announced that he had decided that I was going to sleep in a bondage rope harness tonight. This was almost too much for me to bear at this point, after enduring the whipping, the butt plug, and now my first time with anal. So I just stared at him, trying to figure out whether he was teasing me, or was serious. I guess I figured out he was serious when he told me to get the laptop so we could look at the diagram… So I obeyed. And he told me to stand up and then followed the directions on the screen to create the harness.

This was my first time in bondage rope, and I had no idea what to expect. It was the weirdest sensation!!! The harness ran between my legs, so both ropes were pulled tight, chafing against my pussy and pulled tight, deep within my butt crack, then running up my spine to be reconnected to the rope around my neck, and finally weaving a pattern around my torso that made the entire harness tight. By the time the final knots were tied, the harness felt very tight around me, and any movement at all caused the rope between my legs to chafe mercilessly either against my clit or my anus. The sensation was maddening.

S. seemed very pleased with himself and ordered me in bed. Just getting into the bed made me immediately realize that I was in trouble. There was no position at all that was even remotely comfortable and he told me to get on my left side and then curled up behind me, tugging a rope now and then, just to make it worse. In that position, the rope bit cruelly into my clit, causing both pain and arousal. And I couldn’t straighten out or wiggle to adjust my position because S. was directly behind me, spooning me. I immediately felt myself begin to drip. I groaned and whined quite a lot over the next few minutes, which just seemed to make S. grin even harder, and when I complained that any tiny movement caused the rope to chafe more against my pussy and anus, he simply responded: “That’s the whole point! Good night, slave!” and turned over and faced the other way, leaving me there in misery.

I turned out the light as ordered and lay there, wondering how in the world I was ever going to fall asleep at all. I kept whimpering quietly, so S. finally said that if I hadn’t fallen asleep within a half an hour, he might release me from the harness. Unfortunately for me, I usually look at my phone to see what time it is, and the phone was a long reach away from the bed, on the shelf. And the LAST thing I felt like doing right then was stretching, causing the harness to bite even more deeply into my sensitive parts. So I just lay there and wondered what time it was. After a short while, I could hear S. snoring gently. At that point, I nearly kicked him! It seemed so unfair that I was lying there, bound and wildly horny and with a constant biting, tugging sensation in my most sensitive areas, while he snored away peacefully. Fortunately, I mastered my impulse, and didn’t kick him or anything else.

Finally, after I have no idea how long, I dozed off, exhausted by the day’s events. I woke up sporadically through the night, each time I tried to move or adjust my position in the bed, the resulting tightening and cruel bite of the ropes would immediately wake me up. The night went on this way until maybe 3 or 4 am when S. woke up as well. He asked whether I wanted the harness removed and I nodded and said please!!!! So he removed it and my god what a relief it was!!! The rope left an interesting pattern of marks and some chafe areas on my body. After that, I slept much much better! It was such a blessed relief not to have anything pulling and chafing against my sensitive areas!!!

In the morning, the rope marks were all gone, but the chafed areas were still red and a bit raw. I didn’t really pay much attention to them, until I sprayed my perfume on before going to work and nearly jumped out of my skin: The alcoholic base of the perfume caused the chafed areas on my chest to burn like mad! I had to wipe tears from my eyes before I could continue to get dressed.

New Year's Eve :)

What a wonderful feeling to wake up in my beloved’s arms on the 31^st!!! It was delightful to stretch and see his smiling face, and the warmth of his arms around me, and his soft kisses everywhere. The most wonderful feeling in the world!!!!! I snuggled with him for a long while, just enjoying the warmth of his skin against mine, until I noticed his nice morning wood greeting me! :D So I decided I should definitely take good care of that! S. enjoyed my mouth and hands on him and came a TON which made me very happy!

Then I baked him some croissants for breakfast and then made food preparations and packed them in a cooler for later that day. We both had showers and got ready to go. I had done some research and thinking about how I wanted to spend New Year’s with S. I had considered various events and parties in the city but decided a more intimate setting would be really nice for our first New Year’s Eve together. So we had reservations for two nights at a Bed & Breakfast a couple of hours drive away on a pretty lake.

We did a little shopping in town and then headed out to the B&B. It was a beautiful afternoon and evening and we took our time driving. By the time we were getting close, the sun was setting and it was absolutely breathtaking so we stopped and took lots of pictures which was fun!

The Bed & Breakfast we chose is this amazing restored Victorian mansion on a hill overlooking the lake, and when we drove up, we immediately saw that the website hadn’t exaggerated. The place was simply gorgeous! The oak paneling and ceilings, the many giant fireplaces, stained glass windows, and rich brocade drapes, all contributed to the absolutely charming atmosphere. The owners were very welcoming and before long, we were upstairs in our amazing room: It had a huge blue and white stained glass window right above the King size bed, the original soaking tub from the 1800s, and original tile in the bathroom and fireplace. We spent quite a while just gaping at everything and marveling that we would get to spend the next two nights in such a breathtaking setting!

The next two days were lots of fun! The owner cooked us gourmet breakfasts each day and we explored the lake region and the surrounding towns. We went snowshoeing together, and ate out, and just basically had a wonderful time together. Everything is SO much better when S. is with me. It’s like he’s my own private beam of sunshine, lighting up the world around me. It doesn’t matter what we are doing, he just makes it 100 times better!

On New Year’s Eve, we had a picnic in our room from the cooler I’d brought and shared a bottle of champagne. It was delicious and what more perfect way to spend the New Year, but cuddled in front of the fire, toasting each other?!!! It was absolutely wonderful!

We only brought a few toys with us to the inn, but we had a great time anyway. S. decided that we should take a bath together in the old tub and so we did, which turned out not quite how we had imagined it (I won’t get into details but imagine limbs sticking out every which way lol) and we wound up laughing our heads off most of the time. But it was great fun! J S. also put the spreader bar on me for the first time, stretched as wide as it can go. And I discovered that while it keeps my legs fairly spread when I’m lying on my back with it on, it spreads me VERY wide when I’m on my knees and makes it impossible for me to clench my ass cheeks together at all.

S. enjoyed inserting the largest butt plug when I was in that position and making me groan and try to squirm away. He was very pleased by how easily the plug went in: A testament to the weeks of anal training he put me through! I felt SO vulnerable on my knees, bent over, with my legs spread so wide by the spreader bar. There was no way for me to protect myself at all when he pushed the plug in. All I could do, was push my face into the bed and try not to moan too loudly. He teased me mercilessly that all of the other guests at the B&B would stare at me in the morning for being so loud! I was mortified at the thought.

We also spent vast amounts of time just cuddling and playing around on the giant comfy bed, and enjoying the light from the fireplace.  S. seems to find it amusing to wrap his arms around me and then quietly play with my nipples nonstop while we talk or cuddle. It’s a low-grade arousal but a constant one that keeps me dripping without any chance for respite. When I complained that him doing that to my nipples was like pushing a button that dispensed liquid between my legs, he found the idea hilarious and pressed them repeatedly, calling me a “dispenser”. >_> 

After that, he would alternate from playing with one nipple, to the other, and then inserting his finger between my lips and rubbing my clit to tease me and see how wet I was getting. At one point, I was getting so horny and frustrated, I was squirming all over the bed and he had to threaten me with the butt plug for an extended period of time if I didn’t keep my legs spread as commanded. He also repeatedly held me back from taking a diver off the side of the bed in my desperate attempts to move away from him and compose myself. I just have to point out that it’s really unfair how much stronger guys are!!!

On the second night, S. decided that it would be fun to rub my clit and tease me until I came, and then keep right on rubbing. Normally, when I play with myself, I stop the INSTANT I cum. In fact, I often will turn the toy off if I’m using a toy before I’m even finished cumming because it makes me so sensitive I simply cannot stand any stimulation at all once I reach that peak. But S. thought it would be fun to just keep right on going. And so he did, while I tried desperately to get away from him. But unfortunately for me, there was absolutely no way for me to escape, and I wound up flailing helplessly in his arms, while he mercilessly kept on stimulating me. I thought I was going to go out of my mind with the stimulation on my already engorged and insanely sensitive clit, but he kept right on going until I came a second time. After that, he thankfully let me clean up and then fall asleep in his arms once more, completely exhausted.