Very Scary Experience

If you've been keeping up with my blog, you know that we recently acquired a new O-ring gag.

So, the other night, S. decided to put it on me for my training with it. He attached it snugly and then went about his normal routine of playing with me. He attached the cuffs and then connected my wrists and ankles, so I was in a doggy style position with my face against the mattress and my ass in the air.

I felt S. move behind me on the mattress and then felt his fingers spread me and he soon penetrated me. Up until this point everything was fine. But then, he started to pound me and, with each new thrust, my face and shoulders were pushed forwards against the mattress. Normally, this is a little painful but okay, but with the O-ring gag in, I couldn't brace myself at all.

I began to groan with each new thrust, but S just kept right on going. Then, something really bad started to happen: For some reason, because of the way the gag held my jaw and throat, my airway started to collapse more with each thrust. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening, but I could hear the gasping, ragged breaths I was trying to take in, and I started to get scared. I tried to shout to S to STOP! But with the O-ring gag in it was completely unintelligible. Plus by that time my airway was getting really cut off and I could barely breathe so it just game out as another moan and he kept right on going. I struggled and moaned as loud as I could, but S. thought I was just reacting to his penetrating me deeply and kept right on going.

At that point I started to see little black stars and I had a terrifying moment where I thought: "Oh God, I might actually die!" In a last desperate attempt, I wrenched and twisted my entire body to the left and finally managed to fall over onto my left side, with my hands and feet still shackled behind me gasping for breath. S. was immediately by my side asking what was wrong. Of course, with the gag still in place, I couldn't answer. I just cried and moaned unintelligibly. He finally got the hint and removed the gag, and between sobbing gasps, I explained what had happened.

So that was a VERY scary experience for me! :(  It had never even crossed my mind to be scared of having my airway blocked by a gag that holds my mouth open! I had had that fear related to ball gags. But there was just something about that position and the constant thrusting and weight pushing from behind me that made it impossible to breathe. It was a big lesson to learn and S. agreed that, from now on, if we use ANY type of gag at all, we will be using a bell or something that I can get his attention with if I'm in trouble.

O-Ring Gag

S. has been talking about getting an O-ring gag for a while now and so a few weeks ago we ordered one. I was simultaneously excited and terrified. I have a thing about being able to control what goes into my mouth, and this gag makes that simply impossible. It also was described as causing the wearer to drool uncontrollably (which I find icky and humiliating and S enjoys greatly). So yeah, I was dreading the arrival of our new toy quite a bit! To make matters worse, there were four sizes available: S, M, L and XL. And we had no clue which to order. It had to fit in my mouth which isn't all that big, which means I'd have preferred the smallest size available or a Medium at the very most, but my darling S. is very large, and had to be able to fit through it, which meant we needed one of the larger sizes. I finally compromised by ordering a Large and crossing my fingers.

When the new gag arrived in the mail, we opened the box and I looked at it. It just looked scary!!! After some hesitation, I tried it on, and the first thing I thought was OWWWWWW! It was so large that I could barely even get it into my mouth at all! And once it was in, my jaw was in absolute agony. I could barely stand to keep it in for a few seconds at a time! My first thought was to just give up and send it back, but I spent the next few minutes experimenting with it and found that if I sat it at a bit of an angle with the bottom part of the ring back a bit, it wasn't so bad and although it still hurt, I didn't feel as though I would pass out from the pain any second.

S. found all of my moaning and experimenting very funny because he has an enormous mouth and he was able to pop the ring in and out of his mouth with room to spare and no pain. He demonstrated how easy it was and asked me what my problem was. He mocked me quite a bit. Grrrr. He then declared that I'll have to wear the gag for a few minutes each day, increasing the time until I'm able to wear it more comfortably. Oh joy, more training... sigh.

On the bright side, S. tried the gag out when he was fully hard and he was able to fit through it, although with no room to spare so that's a good thing. Because there is absolutely NO way I would be able to fit the XL size into my mouth at all!!!

Sadistic Games

Sometimes I wonder where in the world S comes up with these ideas! He never ceases to amaze me with the incredibly twisted scenarios he comes up with!!! As I sit here writing this, my left wrist is sprained, my knees are killing me, my hips ache and my neck is super stiff, oh and my ass hurts (what else is new? Since S. moved in, my ass hurts about 90 percent of the time. He sure does love his whips!)... all courtesy of the new game S. came up with to play with me last night.

So, where to begin? If you've been reading my blog, you know that last week, after S punished me for mouthing off to him about our sex life, he promised me a grueling game on Sunday and gave me a preview of it as a part of the punishment. But when we came back from camping on Sunday, we were both exhausted and nothing happened. We went merrily about our week and I figured he had forgotten all about it. Unfortunately for me, S. rarely forgets his promises...

So, last night, I was happily curled up in the tub with a book when S. cracked the door open and told me that the game was ready for me and that I should let him know as soon as my bath was done. Then he grinned wickedly and shut the door, while I stared after him with an open mouth. Dammit! I hadn't been expecting that at all! And I was kind of in the mood to just snuggle. But sadly, I don't get to make the choices about when we snuggle and when I have to play one of his sadistic games. Needless, to say, I spent the rest of my bath worrying about what was going to happen to me, instead of relaxing!

Finally, I gave up, and got out of the tub and dried off. I stood there, holding my towel around me for a minute, wondering if I should dress, but I figured S. would just immediately order me to undress again anyway, so there was no point. Timidly, clutching my towel, I opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway. I called out: "I'm done with my bath!"

"Good!" S. replied from the bedroom and ordered me to return to the bathroom and wait. I complied, and stood there, holding my towel tightly against me for comfort and protection. Before long, S. joined me in the bathroom and immediately blindfolded me, then left the room again. I clutched my towel tighter, and backed up a step or two, feeling very vulnerable. I soon heard his footsteps returning and then he commanded me to open my mouth. I did as he said, and felt the bit gag being inserted. He tightened it around the back of my neck and I bit down softly against the now familiar rubber bit, wondering what would come next. I didn't have long to wait, because I almost immediately felt the collar being fastened around my neck and then the click of the leash being attached to it.Gah... I always find being leashed particularly humiliating. Being led around like a dog just galls me.

"Get down!" S. commanded, with a tug on the leash. I hesitated for a moment and then dropped my towel, knowing I couldn't keep it around me while crawling on all fours. S. tugged again to encourage me to speed up and I got down on my hands and knees. S. told me to follow him and led me out of the bathroom, tugging the leash to urge me forward. Now this may sound stupid because I've lived here for ten years and I know the house very well but whenever I'm blindfolded, I seem to lose all my sense of orientation, so I have to feel my way forward, and am in constant fear of hitting a doorjamb or a wall or something. I can't explain it exactly, I think it's because I'm in such a vulnerable position, I'm not able to maintain a good grip on where I am in space while S. has me tied or on a leash. So I always seem to move slower than he would like, and become especially hesitant when approaching doorways. Of course, this always seems to make S. impatient and often results in being forcibly pulled forward by the leash or else being whipped until I increase my speed.

Anyway, after some hesitation, I made it through the doorway and into the hallway. S. then ordered me to stay put and explained the rules of the game to me:

"I've hidden a carabiner somewhere on the floor in each of three rooms: The hallway, the living room, and the bedroom. You will need to find the carabiner in each room. I'm going to insert ice into your pussy and it will serve as a countdown device. If you find the carabiner before the ice melts, then I will give you a hint about where the next one is hidden. If you don't find it in time, you will be whipped 10 times on each ass cheek before attempting the next room."

I groaned inarticulately in response. "What's the matter, slave?" S. taunted me. He seems to enjoy asking me questions when I'm gagged and can't respond. Grrr. I just shook my head and tried to steel myself for what was to come. I heard S. move behind me and I immediately tightened my legs together, dreading the freezing/burning sensation of the ice in such a sensitive area. S smacked me on the ass and said: "You better let me put the ice in: It's already melting! Time is running out!" Arrrgh! I hung my head and complied and within seconds, the painful sensation of ice directly against my clit had me gasping. Once S. was satisfied it was in place, he picked up the leash and urged me forward to start the game.

Groaning, I moved forward gingerly each movement grinding the ice in deeper and causing rivulets of melted water to drip down my inner thighs. Goosebumps broke out across my body. I swept my hands across the floor in front of me as I moved, using touch to search for the hidden carabiner. I felt all along the carpet, crawled across the hardwood floor, explored the doorways, tried to search behind the big basket that sits there, but nothing. By now, I was getting desperate: The ice was melting fast and I was in pain both from that and from the pressure on my knees as I moved repeatedly across the floor. I held out both hands helplessly, to signify that I couldn't find it.

"Keep hunting!" S. ordered me and yanked on the leash, forcing me back to all fours. I groaned and, in a desperate last attempt, ran my hand over the shoes that sit by the door. To my immense gratitude, I heard a sudden clink, and I frantically felt around the floor, until my fingers encountered metal at last. I closed my hand around it and held it up to show I had found it! S. checked the ice and there was still a sliver left! Thank god, I thought! I had narrowly avoided a whipping! S informed me that I would be given 3 minutes to rest between rooms, so I should take advantage of it. I eased myself off my aching knees and sat on my bottom, panting, and trying to prepare myself for the next room.

After what seemed like only 30 seconds, S. tugged on the leash, and forced me back to all fours. He led me to the living room and had me stop at the entrance. "There's something I haven't mentioned yet," he said with a sadistic smile in his voice, and I cringed, wondering what new twist was coming: "Each time you find a carabiner, it will be added to your body for the next room." I groaned, realizing what he had in mind. And, sure enough, within less than a minute, he had put the ankle cuffs on me and used the carabiner I had just found to shackle my ankles together. leaving only a couple of inches of space between them. This new complication would make it much more difficult for me to move with any speed and would make finding the next carabiner in the large space of the living room a lot more challenging.

"What's the matter, slave?" S taunted me. "The game would be boring if the difficulty didn't increase with each new level!" I shook my head mutely in disagreement, thinking to myself that the game was most certainly NOT boring for me: Searching for a small item in a large space while blindfolded, gagged and leashed, with ice in my pussy was quite exciting enough without adding shackles to the menu!!! But of course, my opinion doesn't matter, and so, I resigned myself to shuffling forward, pulling my chained ankles behind me.

S moved behind me again and I tried to prepare myself for the feeling of ice once more on my already sore pussy, but instead, I felt the vibrator being inserted deep inside me and turned on. I gasped at the sensation, and tried to adjust my position so it wasn't so distracting. S just pushed it in deeper and then added the ice cube so it sat right against my clit. "Uhhhhhhhhh" I moaned, arching my back. "Time to play!" S laughed at me and I felt the whip against my ass. My head whirling, I obediently moved forward, tentatively feeling ahead of and around me as I dragged my shackled ankles behind me. Each movement made the vibrator's distraction more intense and the cold water from the melting ice dripped down my legs once more. I was sweating from the stress and exertion, but I also had goosebumps from the freezing ice. I tried to speed up, afraid of the pain of the whip if I didn't find the carabiner in time, and my breath came in frantic gasps.

I moved across the entire living room in this way, without finding anything. Had I missed it? My head whirled. I was having a very difficult time focusing. By now my breaths were accompanied by desperate whimpers. I kept moving, knowing I probably had less than a minute left before the ice was completely gone. I rounded the coffee table and pivoted on already painful knees, and THERE! My hand encountered metal near the foot of the couch. I snatched it and held it up, shaking and whimpering.

S. praised me and verified that there was indeed a small sliver of ice left. "Good girl!" he said: "Now for the last room!"

Groaning in pain and exhaustion, I slowly crawled after him, trying to avoid putting pressure on the most painful areas of my knees, and favoring my left wrist which somehow had gotten sprained during one of our sessions last week and was now aching badly. My shackled ankles made moving at any speed difficult and so I crawled along slowly and painfully, until I finally reached the bedroom.

As I had feared, S informed me that the second carabiner would now be added to my body. I moaned loudly and shook my head vehemently. How in the world was I supposed to search the bedroom with BOTH my hands and feet bound together!!!??? But S. ignored my complaints, and got the wrist cuffs out. I pulled away several times when he was attempting to buckle them on, fighting him, and he yanked me sharply back into place, ordering me to be still. I was desperate by now, so I continued to resist, but to no avail: He's stronger than I am to start with and I was already exhausted, and I was soon on all fours once more with less than two inches of play between either my wrists or ankles. I wobbled there uncertainly, moaning softly to myself. How in the world was I supposed to search the room like this???

S. moved behind me and pushed the vibrator in more deeply, making me groan, and then I heard the telltale sound of a tube of lube being opened. I moaned loudly and shook my head again. I knew what was coming. Sure enough, I soon felt S's finger deep in my ass, lubing me up. I groaned, shook my head, and tried to pull away, but to no avail. God, I HATE that sensation. (S. has decided I'm to be trained again for anal use, so he's been using the hated plugs on me daily. Have I mentioned how much I HATE it??? ARGH!) I tried to steel my butt cheeks as a defense but couldn't keep it up for long. So, all too soon, the butt plug was deep inside me, and I writhed, hating the feeling of it invading my most private space. S. left to go wash his hands and then returned, and added the last piece of ice, making me shudder and cry out through the gag. I was very close to being spent. "Start searching!" he commanded and I tried desperately to comply, just wanting it to be over.

The bedroom isn't that big, but with both my wrists and ankles shackled, moving forward became an ordeal, and I had to stop and search each area slowly because I could no longer sweep my hands out in front of and around me: All I could manage was to search the floor area just in front of me. I started for the desk area and slowly and painfully felt around there. "Since you found the other two carabiners, I'll give you a hint:" S told me: "It's not in this part of the room."

I groaned and painfully pivoted on my agonized knees, turning to head back the other way. At this point, I realized that the only good thing about the ice was that I had left a trail of melted water across the hardwood floor behind me as it dripped down my thighs and I was now able to slide my knees across the floor on the wet surface without having to try to crawl one painful inch at a time. This sped up my return to the other side of the room considerably.

But, just as I was starting to feel better, S. brought the whip down sharply across my bare ass cheeks and I jumped and yelped in pain. "Keep searching!" He said in a cheerful voice and whipped me again. I moaned and tried to move forward faster, desperately searching each small area I could reach at a time.

I continued across the floor like this: Blind, gagged, leashed, with wrists and ankles shackled, my pussy on fire, the vibrator deep inside me distracting me, the butt plug making me crazy with every movement, and with the sharp crack of the whip hounding me forward. Let me tell you: With all that going on, just breathing would be a challenge!!! Trying to find a tiny piece of metal in a big room, is madness!!! I was finding it nearly impossible to think straight: Up until now, I had followed a nice systematic search pattern, but I was so frantic by this point, I just swept desperately in front of me, unsure of where I was, or what area I was searching. I was simply desperate to find the carabiner no matter what and end the agony. S continued relentlessly to whip me every few seconds, making me jump and cry out, losing track of whether I had just searched the floor in front of me or not. I sobbed through the gag and moved forward frantically trying to locate the carabiner.

I felt like I was in some kind of a never ending nightmare by this point. I had no idea where in the room I was: For that matter, I wasn't even sure I was in the bedroom any more! Most of my attention was on my knees which were in complete agony and the rest was focused on my ass which S was whipping more and more frequently. I barely remembered to search the floor as I moved forward, sobbing and whimpering with every movement.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of agony, when I reached the far end of the room, my shaking fingers randomly encountered metal, and I snatched it from the floor, holding it aloft in weak triumph, my body sagging against the side of the bed. I was trembling and whimpering. Things got pretty fuzzy after that. I know S. removed the gag, collar and leash and unhooked my wrists and ankles. He also removed the vibrator and butt plug (I despise the feeling of it being pulled out, but after that, oh my god, what a blessed relief not to be penetrated there!) I don't remember exactly how, but the next thing I was aware of, I was on the bed and he was connecting each of my wrists to my ankles, leaving me with my bare ass high in the air and my head down against the mattress. I soon felt him move behind me and penetrate me, pounding on me from behind.

This position seems to get me to cum faster than any other, and I soon was gasping as my face and chest were shoved hard into the mattress with each stroke. S. grabbed my hair and forcibly pulled my head up and back, causing my back to arch, and I came, and then collapsed back against the mattress, utterly spent. S. finished and then removed the shackles and held my trembling body for a long time until I was able to speak once again.

And so ends the recounting of yet another of S's wild games. I hope you enjoyed it! :) He is truly amazingly creative!!!

Be careful what you wish for...

So yeah, last night, I got cranky...
And I paid for it in spades.

See, what happened is this: S and I are going on a camping trip with friends for the next few days and will be staying in their camper so there will be no way for us to play. And the night before last, S was feeling ill so we didn't play either. (Have I mentioned I have a ridiculously high sex drive for a girl? Sigh). So anyway, last night when we went to bed, S was thinking about other things and after being really horny all day, I got super frustrated that he wasn't going to play with me.

Being a girl, and a girl near her period, I got emotional and took it personally of course: I decided it was clearly because he finds me unattractive and undesirable. I was very put out and got under the sheets and curled up on the far edge of the bed. S knew immediately that something was wrong, and he badgered me until I finally complained: "Well we didn't play last night and we can't play the next two nights, and you don't want to play with me tonight. It's because I'm ugly." This exasperated him, but I continued to whine. He said we could play now but I said no, it was too late now, it was time to sleep.

I thought the discussion was over and was starting to fall asleep, until a few minutes later when S suddenly startled me by bouncing out of bed. I turned around to see what was going on, and heard him pulling the toy box out from under the bed. I sleepily asked him what in the world he was doing, but received no answer. "Don't be silly," I told him with a yawn. "Come back to bed!" Again, no response. "Please come back to bed!" The silence was getting to me.

"Turn on the light!" His voice was sharp and startled me. "No, please, just come back to bed. It's late!" I responded.

"I said: Turn. On. The. Light!" his voice was like ice in the darkness.

I froze. It's extremely rare for S to speak to me in that tone. Hearing it in the dark when I was half asleep made my heart pound and adrenaline start to rush through me. Tentatively, I began to extend my hand toward the light. But apparently not fast enough.

"NOW!" he snapped, making me jump. My hand shot out and I turned on the lamp, blinking in the sudden brightness.

Before I could adjust to the change of illumination, S was on the bed beside me. "Sit up!" the ice in his voice made a shiver run down my spine and I realized that I must have really pissed him off. I sat up, immediately and looked at what he had placed on the bed: I saw a collar, the leash and the bit gag. Uh oh, I thought to myself, I'm in trouble now.

S picked up the collar and placed it around my throat, pushing my head down roughly so he could fasten it in the back. My heart was pounding hard and I couldn't find my voice. So I just sat there and let him do it. The bit gag was next. When he put it up to my face, I hesitated.

"Open!!!" again, the sharpness of his command scared me and I immediately dropped my jaw open to comply. He roughly inserted the rubber bit in my mouth and then pushed my head down again to fasten it behind my neck. He then completed the process by snapping the leash onto my collar and used it to yank my head upwards, until I was only inches from his face. I stared at him in wide eyed silence, trying not to drool around the bit gag. "Are you going to keep crying about our sex life now?" he demanded. I dropped my eyes and mutely shook my head no. My heart was still pounding a mile a minute. What did he intend to do with me? I didn't have long to ponder that question, because the next thing I knew, S had placed the blindfold over my eyes, now leaving me blind and gagged. I chewed fretfully on the rubber bit, already trembling a bit by the feeling of sudden vulnerability being unable to see always brings.

In a flash, S was out of bed and yanking on the leash, forcing me to follow him. I did so, awkardly, feeling my way. As soon as my feet touched the ground, he pointed to the floor: "Down!" he commanded. This brought an inarticulate groan from my lips: crawling with bare knees across a wooden floor is always painful, not to mention humiliating. S punctuated his command with a downward jerk of the leash so I complied quickly: lowering myself to all fours, and feeling like a dog.

"Come!" S pulled hard on the leash, and I was forced to obey, moving gingerly over the unforgiving wooden floor. My slowness didn't please him, and I almost immediately felt the whip on my bare ass. "Faster!" he commanded. I struggled to obey, feeling my way with my hands as I went to be sure I didn't bump into anything. With my heart pounding and the rush of adrenaline going through me, I was already disoriented.

S brought me to a point about halfway through the bedroom and then told me to stop. He left the room for a a minute and I heard him rummaging through the freezer. Oh God, I thought to myself. I knew what was coming. Sure enough, as soon as he returned, I heard S move behind me and then almost immediately that incredible freezing burning sensation as he pushed the ice cube directly into my clit. I uttered a muffled groan, and arched my back, trying to move away from the pain. But S only pushed it in harder until it was firmly lodged there.

"Now", he stood up again. "This is going to give you a taste of what awaits you on Sunday when we get home. I am going to lead you from room to room on all fours and if I expect you to keep that ice in there. If I hear it hit the floor, then depending on which room you are in when it does, you can expect a different consequence."

WHAT? Christ, was he serious? I actually had to try to move forward and keep this hateful piece of ice inside me, while it became increasingly slippery and smaller with each passing second? Arrrrrrrrgh!!! The sensation of the whip against my ass once again convinced me that S really was serious and I awkwardly moved forward, trying desperately to keep my legs as close together as I possibly could and hold the burning ice inside my clit.

I slowly and painfully crawled through the bedroom, the hallway and into the living room like this, cringing each time I thought I might lose the ice. "I'm listening for that ice!" S kept reminding me. By the time I reached the living room, my knees were killing me, and I was shaking from trying to keep the painful sliver of ice in place. S brought me to a halt and checked, by pressing his fingers inside me to verify the ice was still there. "Good," he commented, as he pressed it more firmly against my clit, bringing a fresh wave of pain. He rubbed the remaining sliver up and down my clit and then inserted his now freezing fingers inside me, making me shudder and gasp. I could feel drool starting to run down my chin from the bit gag.

After teasing me with his fingers for a while, S. inserted a vibrating toy and turned it on high, and then left the room with a sharp: "Stay!" Like I was going anywhere. I started to tremble in earnest and tried to concentrate on not swaying as I tried to resist the thrumming inside me. But to no avail: Within seconds I had a first orgasm. I groaned and chewed fretfully at the bit, as my now overly sensitive areas continued to be stimulated by the relentless vibrator.

I heard S come back into the room and he immediately began to buckle the ankle and wrist cuffs on me, pausing from time to time to push the vibrator in even deeper. I panted and shook, drooling in earnest now. I sat back on my haunches to ease the pain on my hands and shoulders a bit. S.  immediately fastened each wrist to the corresponding ankle so I was powerless to move in any direction. He then sat in front of me and removed the bit gag. "How are you doing, slave?" he taunted me. I just panted in response, unable to speak. S then pushed my head downward. I resisted a bit, feeling the pull of my wrist shackles against my ankle cuffs as I was forced forward. "Down" he commanded, and then "Open!"

I now realized what was happening and complied, almost immediately feeling his cock enter my mouth. In this position, I had no way whatsoever to control any movement: I was now balanced precariously on my knees, with my ankles in the air behind me, my wrists helplessly connected to them. S grabbed me by the hair and forced my mouth up and down over his cock with increasing speed. I had no way to resist or control any of the movement, and concentrated on trying not to gag as he repeatedly forced his cock all the way to the back of my throat. My knees were screaming in protest and my wrists and ankles were already aching. I inhaled gasping breaths through my nose whenever I could. The vibrator continued to thrum on high deep inside me and the back and forth movements made it rub me in places it hadn't before. As if I didn't already have enough to cope with, I came again.

Finally, S seemed satisfied and he removed his cock from my mouth and let me collapse with my head against the floor, my wrists and ankles still bound together and my ass held forcibly high in the air. I heard him move behind me as I tried to regain my breath and then he removed the vibrator that had been tormenting me this entire time. I sighed in relief as the thrumming finally stopped, but only had a few seconds relief before S. penetrated me from behind. I was already swollen and dripping back there from the extended time with the vibrator and the sensation of him pushing in and out of me was enough to make me gasp.

He began to pound against me, pushing so my ankles were lifted up off the floor with each thrust, grinding my already painful knees against the rug with each thrust. My face and shoulders were also repeatedly ground into the carpet with each new push from behind. The combination of pain and pleasure were so intense I couldn't help crying out with each thrust.

By the time S had finally cum, my knees, ankles, wrists, shoulders, neck and the right side of my face were all in agony. I was shaking like a leaf and sobbing quietly. I felt S release the metal connecting my wrists to my ankles and brought my numb hands forward, lifting my head painfully off the floor. Was it over? I wondered. Or was he still angry at me. I quickly got a response when S's taunting voice reached my ears: "I know you played with your wand earlier. I think we should play with it again now, don't you?" I groaned in horror. How was I possibly going to stand the wand? I can't control myself even under the best of circumstances when that powerful motor is inside me and against my clit.

S left the room and I moaned, knowing he planned to carry out the threat. Sure enough, within moments, S had returned and plugged in the wand and I felt him force my trembling legs apart and insert it. He immediately turned it on low. I gasped and bucked forward, almost immediately overwhelmed by the powerful sensation against my super sensitive areas. "What's the matter, slave?" he taunted. "Aren't you glad you played with your wand earlier today?" I vehemently shook my head no. (I had been very horny earlier and S had given me permission to play). "Are you going to play again when I'm not there to watch you?" I shook my head harder in denial, gasping and moaning as the relentless buzz continued.

"Move" S commanded. Move? With the wand inside me? My head spun. What did he mean? A slap on my ass urged me forward and I gingerly obeyed, crawling slowly forward. S. followed me with the wand, ensuring that it was pushed directly against me with each step. As I moved, the wand reached new places, and I came again. I felt as if I were about to collapse. I shook helplessly. S urged me forward until I had moved quite a way across the living room and then told me to halt. He then turned the wand on high. At this point, I thought I was going to lose it completely. I alternated trying to balance on each painful knee, arching my back and moving my hips in desperate but futile attempts to get away from the wand. I felt as if I couldn't stand another second of the intense vibration against my screaming parts. Finally, S took pity on me and turned it off. I collapsed against the carpet, shaking hard. Oh thank God, thank God, thank God, was all I could think.

But I heard and felt the click of metal securing my ankle cuffs together and knew that the night wasn't over yet. I hung my head and trembled, trying to steel myself for whatever was coming next. S pulled on the leash that was still attached to my collar. "Come slave," he commanded me. I groaned and tried to obey, the mere two inches room between my shackled ankles making every movement difficult. S forced me to pivot on my already desperately painful knees, and then pulled sharply on the leash, forcing me forward. I could only move slowly, hampered by my shackles, and crawled painfully after him, guided only by the relentless pressure of the leash pulling me forward and his occasional commands: "Turn, left, forward, etc."

By the time we reached the bedroom once more, I thought I would never be able to move again. Every time my knees came down against the hard wooden floor, I gasped in agony, my wrists and ankles hurt badly, my neck ached, and I was shaking uncontrollably. S had me stop and sit up so I was kneeling before him. The then removed the blindfold.

"Stand up!" he commanded. My weary brain, deep in subspace, attempted to make sense of this order. Stand up? But my ankles were still shackled beneath me. How could I? I frowned, unsure what to do. "Stand up!" S ordered again. "Don't you want to get in the bed?" I was much too deep in subspace to even begin to be able to speak, so I just gazed upward at him in mute confusion. It took a few seconds before the look on my face registered and then I heard him say "Oh, that's right!" With relief, I felt S move behind me and detach the piece that connected my ankles. I was then able to obey and stand up, shaking and swaying.

S led me to the bed and helped me in. I lay there, shaking convulsively and completely out of it for a long time while he held me. I'm not sure how long it was until I was finally able to open my eyes and speak again, but it seemed like an eternity. Just stopping shaking took a monumental effort of will: Each time I thought it was done, a new series of shudders would overtake me.

I finally was able to turn in his arms and face him and respond to questions a little. S. informed me that I would be sleeping with the ankle and wrist cuffs on, not connected to anything, but just to remind me of my place. He also told me that he would keep the collar and leash on with the loop around his wrist and that if I needed to go to the bathroom, I would need to wake him up and ask and he would walk me there on all fours. I winced and nodded, accepting my fate, my will too broken to resist at this point. "And if you disobey me and try to slip off the leash without waking me up, you'll spend the entire day on your knees," he warned. "I'll obey!" I hastened to assure him.

S. told me to turn off the light and we settled down for the night. He left the connectors on the wrist and ankle cuffs so they clinked every time I moved in the bed. And whenever S changed positions, the tugging of the leash against my collar woke me up. It was a long night... I slept deeply at first, completely spent. But then woke up partway through the night when I tried to turn over and the clanking of my cuffs plus the tug of the leash woke me up. My bladder was starting to twinge, but I refused to acknowledge it. The thought of placing one of my desperately painful knees against the unforgiving wood floor for even one more second was horrifying.

I dozed fitfully after that, waking up every time I tried to shift position. After a while, a few hours later, S awoke and asked if I had to go to the bathroom. I shook my head no, even though I did, because I simply didn't think I could deal with the floor again. To my distress, he pronounced that he had to go, and I was forced to listen as he walked to the bathroom and urinated. I groaned and turned over, trying hard to ignore my own need.

Finally, an hour or so later, I couldn't put it off any longer, I woke up S and asked if I might be allowed to go on hands and feet instead of hands and knees. He thought about it for a minute and then said that it sounded painful to him but if I could manage it he would allow it. I almost laughed: At that moment nothing could have sounded more painful than putting my abused knees against the floor for so much as another instant. So I clumsily made my way out of bed and followed S to the bathroom, awkwardly walking on crouched legs with most of the pressure from my body on my hands. It seemed interminable but I finally made it there, and S allowed me to go in on my own. God, the relief of being able to pee at last!!!!

The rest of the night passed much the same way: I tossed and turned, waking myself up each time I shifted positions, acutely aware of the cuffs and collar shackling me at five points. I had worried about the next couple of nights in the camper, but now that thought seemed like bliss in comparison to this!!!

So yeah, the moral of this story is definitely: Be careful for you wish for because you may get it...and then some!!! I don't think I'll be whining again any time soon, PMS or no PMS!!!

Calling Him "Master"

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I have a hard time with titles like "Sir" and especially "Master". I wrote about it in several posts including this one: Titles...ewww! But S. greatly enjoys calling me "slave" and his mission in life is to have me call him "Master" all the time.

To date, I have only ever uttered the dreaded M... word once. And it was this summer when he kept whipping me until I finally broke (I need to write a post on that but haven't gotten to it yet). By the time he was done, my ass was on fire and I simply couldn't hold out any more so I wound up whispering the word in submission. But I haven't come remotely close to saying it since despite S. trying to get me to say it from time to time.

However, I knew that my stubbornness in this matter wasn't going to last on this trip as S. had promised me I WOULD call him "Master" again before the end of the trip. So here we were on the last night, and I knew what was coming although I couldn't anticipate the exact format it would take. All I knew is that I was determined not to say that word and that S. was equally determined to get me to say it. And unfortunately for me, since S. is the Dom, I knew I was probably going to be put through a lot of pain before the night was out, until I finally broke and said it again.

And so it began...

S. placed me on my knees on the bed, with my legs spread and then attached wrist and ankle cuffs. He connected each wrist to the corresponding ankle so that my ass was high in the air and I couldn't move to protect myself in any way. I squirmed a bit, but quickly stopped, because in that position, all squirming accomplishes is making my legs slide farther apart, making me even more vulnerable to whatever S. might choose to do.

To my surprise, S. attached the bit gag to me. But he explained as he did: "I am going to keep this gag on you until you are ready to call me Master." I groaned through the gag and buried my face on the mattress. S. grabbed my hair and yanked my hair so my head was forced up and back and told me that he would keep going until I called him Master tonight.

S. then slid off the bed and I could hear him rummaging in the toy box. He pulled something out, and I soon heard a vibrator and felt him push the head of it against my pussy. I jumped and groaned in pleasure as he pushed it deeply into my pussy until it was lodged there, and left it there on high. I heard him returning to the toy box once more. I was pretty sure that he was getting the flicker whip: The one that hurts like crazy and leaves welts everywhere and sure enough, I soon heard a whistling sound through the air and the first crack hit my right cheek. I jumped and groaned in pain, curling my fingers and toes to try to steel myself for the next impact.

S. continued to work on my ass with the whip, alternating cheeks and making me gasp and moan in pain. Occasionally, he would stop and come over to my head and pull my hair until he could see my face and demand whether I was ready to submit yet. Each time, I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head in denial. And he would resume the whipping. It was a crazy sensation with the vibrator in my pussy because each time the lash hit my sensitive skin, I would convulse and involuntarily clench all my muscles, including my internal ones, causing a wave of pleasure inside my pussy at the same time as the sharp pain from the crack of the whip. The simultaneous pleasure and pain was making me crazy!

About halfway through this, S. stopped and rummaged in the toy box again. I wondered what was in store for me now, and I soon heard the dreaded sound of lube being squeezed out and I knew what was coming next. Sure enough, I felt his fingers invading my anus and I moaned and tried to squirm away, only succeeding in spreading my legs even farther apart. Before I could recover, S. pushed the largest plug all the way in, making me moan loudly. Then he resumed the whipping, pausing from time to time to press against the plug and shove it in even more deeply. Because I still had the vibrator inside me, both the plug and the vibrator rubbed against one another, causing the vibrations to invade my anus as well and I writhed from the sensations of pain, pleasure and fullness that I was helpless to stop.

My ass was on fire by the time S. was finished, but I still refused to utter the dreaded M.. word. I honestly cannot explain this very well, other than to say that there is something in me that just balks at the idea of calling anyone that. And, even if I'm in significant pain, it's extremely difficult for me to even contemplate uttering that word. I guess S. decided that it was time to change tactics because he removed the vibrator, leaving the plug inside me, disconnected my wrists from my ankles, and ordered me off the bed. I complied shakily and followed him to the foot of the bed.

"Kneel!" he commanded me, and I dropped to my knees once more, my body shaking from the abuse it had already taken. S. then proceeded to attach my ankle restraints to the spreader bar so my knees were spread far apart and then attached my wrist cuffs to the bedframe on either side so my arms were spread wide, turning me into a giant X, and unable to move in any direction.

At this point, my knees were really starting to hurt, my ass was killing me, The anal plug had been in for quite a while by now, and my anus was really starting to ache, and I was shaking quite a bit. My head was spinning too, so when S. approached me with the blindfold, I shook my head back and forth, trying to escape it. But of course, I couldn't, and I was soon engulfed in darkness, unable to anticipate what would come next. I chewed fretfully on the bit gag and tried to regain some composure, but I could feel myself slipping further into subspace.

S. made me wait for a few seconds, and then I heard the sound of the whip whistling through the air. I tried desperately to bring my arms together to protect myself and to huddle forward but the restraints prevented me from doing so and I took the full impact of the lash directly across my breasts. I cried out in pain and my body shook. Before I could even breathe again, S. hit me again, catching me directly on the left breast and making me gasp in agony. He kept this up for a while until my entire body was shaking from head to toe and then he paused to ask whether I was ready to submit and call him "Master" yet. The pain all over my body was intense, but something within me just refused to break and I shook my head in defiance, while dreading the continued punishment that would follow.

S. reached behind my head and removed my gag, causing drool to drip down my chest and told me that he would just continue with the whipping and I could submit and call him Master any time I was ready. He then returned to the toy box and I heard the sound I had been fearing the most: The metal clink of the nipple clamps. I hate the clamps! They are excruciatingly painful!!!! The bite of them against my sensitive nipples is nearly unbearable under normal circumstances and the thought of having to endure them now that my breasts were inflamed and swollen from the whipping was nearly too much to bear.

S. came over to me and I felt his hand tease my left nipple, making it harden, and then he attached the metal clamp directly onto it. I couldn't help the loud "OWWWWWWWWWWW!" that escaped my lips as the pain made me break out in goosebumps and convulse against the restraints. Seconds later, I felt him repeating the process with my right nipple and I another "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" issued from me as that clamp bit deeply into my delicate flesh. At this point, I think I was crying. It just hurt so freaking much!!!

Then I heard S. Leave the room for a few moments and I straine my ears, trying to make out what he was doing. To my dismay, I was able to identify the sound of the freezer door and ice cubes clinking. By the time he returned to the bedroom, I was moaning and shaking my head back and forth. He laughed when he saw me and I soon heard him close in front of me. I tried desperately to close my legs to protect my pussy but the spreader bar kept me stretched wide open and S. wasted no time in pressing the ice cube directly into my clit, making me gasp and moan. I tried to sway my hips away from him but the bedframe prevented it, and he pushed the ice deeper until my lips closed around it and it was stuck in place.

At this point, I was very close to my breaking point and I knew it: my ass was on fire, my knees ached, my shoulders and wrists were strained from my yanking desperately on my restraints, my nipples were sending unbelievable waves of pain through my body and the ice was causing an intense freezing, burning sensation in my clit that was almost too much to bear.

S. then picked up the whip and started once more to lash my tortured breasts. I was crying out with each impact as both the area of the lash hurt like crazy and my nipples that were being jerked around with the clamps and chain connecting them swinging around from my convulsions were too much to bear. It was at that point that I broke, and the next time S. paused and asked me if I was ready to submit yet, I hung my head and nodded.

It took several deep breaths before I could force myself to say the hated word: "M...M...Master," I finally managed in a croak.

"Louder!" he commanded.

"M...Master!" I repeated obediently in a louder tone, submitting completely to his will, unable to hold out any more.

This finally satisfied S. and he removed the nipple clamps, causing a fresh wave of pain as the blood rushed back into my abused flesh and I collapsed onto my hands and knees as soon as he disconnected the restraints from the footboard. S. moved around me removing all four cuffs, the blindfold, and finally taking out the anal plug. He then helped me to my feet and guided me to the bed.

I was deeply in subspace at this point and curled up in the bed with his arms around me in a somewhat catatonic state. S. held me gently and patted my cheek and hair, telling me how much he loved me. It took a while for me to be able to even open my eyes, or respond to him in any way. He kept telling me he loved me, but all I could manage back was to nod my head against his chest.

Finally, after a long time had passed, and my shaking had stopped, I felt a bit better and was just floating in S.'s arms. This is my favorite part: I feel so loved and cherished and cared for in those moments. S. is always so kind and gentle and I would do just about anything in the world for him right then. So, when I heard him say once more: "I love you!" I curled the corner of my lips into a small smile and clung tighter to his chest and whispered back:

"I love you too, Master!"

Leashed

This will be an update about the last day S. and I spent together before he had to return home. And then after I write one more post about the final night, my blog will finally be up to date! :)

On our before last night together, S. decided to put the collar and leash on me right before we got in bed. He grinned, as he attached it, and told me that he hoped that I didn't have to pee or anything because, from now on, if I had to leave the bed for any reason, I would need to wake him up and ask permission and he would then lead me on all fours to and from the bathroom or wherever else I needed to go.

Of course, being told this immediately made me thirsty, have to pee, want to go check on a million things, etc. Just knowing that I couldn't leave the bed without his permission and that if I were to receive permission, it would mean crawling on all fours like a dog, while he smirked at me and yanked on my leash, was maddening!!! I groaned and turned over in bed, trying to settle down for the night. But I soon realized that I was really thirsty. I tried to put it out of my mind, but the longer I lay there, the thirstier I got. I debated back and forth with myself: Could I just put my thirst aside for the entire night and wake up parched? Or was it worth it to beg permission for a drink and crawl on hands and knees in humiliation to the kitchen to alleviate my thirst?

I went back and forth in my mind, but finally my thirst won and I meekly asked S. if I could get some water. He grinned and bounced of the the bed, holding the leash. I followed him, and stood uncertainly by the bed for a few seconds until he pointed at the floor and said "Down!" Grimacing, I knelt before him and then began to crawl on all fours behind him while he led the way to the kitchen, occasionally giving my leash a little yank. It was completely humiliating!

When we got to the kitchen, he took a glass and filled it with some water. I wasn't sure what to expect next, but he plopped it right on the floor in front of me. I looked down at it, wondering if he expected me to drink from it on the floor, or what. I looked back up at him, as he grinned down at me: "Well, you'd better figure out a way to carry it back to the bedroom with you now, hadn't you?" he taunted me. "Maybe in your teeth?" he grinned wider.

I looked back at the plastic tumbler and decided there was NO way I was going to carry the thing in my mouth. It would spill everywhere! But there was also no way for me to crawl while holding it in one hand. Fortunately, I had a brainwave!!! I took the tumbler in one hand and stretched my arm out, placing it several feet in front of me and then crawled forward on all fours to where the cup was. I then repeated this, placing the cup several feet in front of me each time, and then crawling to it. S. laughed, seeing that I had found a clever way to get the drink back to the bedroom while still following his rules, and so we made our way slowly back to the bedroom with me moving the cup each time and then crawling to it.

Once I got back in bed, finally, I drank deeply and felt much better, albeit still humiliated. It was such a strange feeling, having a leash attached to my collar and knowing the other end was around S.'s wrist. And knowing that my freedom of movement was completely controlled by S. for the remainder of the night caused my heart to thump loudly. I felt simultaneously restricted and protected. I glanced at the half drained cup of water beside me: I wanted to gulp all of the water, but I was worried about having to pee in the middle of the night, so I let the remaining water sit on the bedside table.

It took a little while to get to sleep, but I eventually did fall deeply asleep in S.'s arms. I woke up from time to time during the night when the metal D ring on the collar and the metal clip on the leash clanked softly together as I moved in the bed. I would wake up and remember the situation I was in, and then settle back down and fall asleep again.

Around 3am, I woke up and realized that I needed to go to the bathroom, but unfortunately not just to pee: I needed to do number two. :( I was horrified by this development. The thought of having someone in the room with me when I peed was mortifying. But the thought of having anyone anywhere near me when I went number two was simply intolerable. I spent the next hour and twenty minutes or so, tossing and turning, trying desperately to get back to sleep, but unable to, due to an increasing need to go to the bathroom.

Finally, around 4:20am, I tapped S. on the shoulder and said in a small meek voice: "I have to go to the bathroom and go number two. Is there any way, please, please, please, please, PLEASE, you would consider just letting me go? PLEASE!!!!!" S. was silent for a moment, considering, and then he said: "All right, you can go on your own, but just for this ONE thing!" He held up his index finger, emphasizing ONE.

I gasped in relief and said "Yes, yes, just this one! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank, you!!!!" I have never felt so grateful in my life! I jumped out of the bed, before he could reconsider or change his mind, and rushed to the bathroom. My god, what a relief!!! After I was done, I returned to bed and kissed and thanked S. about thirty more times, in deep gratitude. After that, the remainder of the night was so much better. I slept peacefully in his arms, and when I did wake up from time to time, I enjoyed the thought that the leash connected me to him.

When we finally both woke up late that next morning, we snuggled and talked for a little while. Then, after a little bit, S. said: "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" But before I could respond, he said: "Well I guess it doesn't matter if you have to or not, because I have to pee, and that means you're coming with me!" He hopped out of bed, and pulled on the leash, forcing me to follow. Once more, the instant I was out of bed, he pointed to the ground and commanded me to get on all fours. I complied and crawled behind him, feeling like some kind of animal.

S. led me to the bathroom and then pointed to a spot beside the toilet and told me to kneel there. I crawled to the spot and obeyed, kneeling beside him, and he then proceeded to pee, without the slightest sign of embarrassment. I, on the other hand, was mortified: Kneeling there, leashed, and forced to watch him urinate. I blushed bright red: It was so embarrassing!!!

When he was done, S. told me that it was now my turn. I groaned and covered my face with my hands. I couldn't bear the thought of him watching me. I gave him my most pleading look, gazing up at him, from my kneeling position. He seemed to understand, because he draped the leash around my neck and told me he'd be right outside the door when I was done. I gratefully thanked him and then completed my business, and washed my hands. It struck me as humorous while I was carefully drying them, that I had just washed my hands when I was about to get them filthy by crawling all over the floor on my hands and knees again.

I opened the bathroom door, and S. pointed to the floor once more. I sighed but didn't complain because I was still very grateful for him letting me use the bathroom alone. So I got to my hands and knees and followed obediently behind him as he led the way to the living room. He went over to the couch and sat down. I stopped when he did, with several feet of leash between us. S. crooked his index finger and beckoned me closer so I complied until my face was even with his knees. He patted me on the head, like he would a pet and commented on how nice this was. I groaned a little and hid my face in his lap.

Then S. pulled his PJs and boxers down and told me that I needed to make myself useful as long as I was there, and ordered me to suck on him until he became hard. So I did. It was frankly a relief to have something to focus on and do instead of just sitting there on all fours like some sort of animal, feeling humiliated. So I threw myself into the task and worked at making him become as hard as possible.

After a little while, S stood up and led me to the bedroom, with me crawling behind him on all fours. Once there, he had me remove my top and then told me to use my hands to finish him off. I sat up on my knees and used my hands and mouth together until he was about to cum, and then he took over and sprayed cum all over my torso, covering my breasts and dripping down onto my belly below.

When he had spent his load and dripped every last drop of cum onto me, S. picked up the leash again and led me back to the bathroom. He bent down and removed the collar and then told me to get in the shower with him and wash him. I stood up and gladly followed him in. This part was lots of fun! I really enjoyed washing him from head to toe: I started with the body wash and put a generous amount on a washcloth and then gently washed every inch of him, kneeling to get his lower half. I then shampooed his hair, and rinsed him off completely.

When I was done, S. indicated that it was now my turn to wash myself and I did so. He made things somewhat more difficult, by continuously playing with my breasts while I tried to wash and condition my hair, which made it extremely difficult to focus, But eventually, we were both clean and he stepped out of the shower, with me close behind. S. tossed me a towel and told me to dry him and I obeyed, carefully drying him all over and rubbing his hair until it was towel dry as well. S. then commanded me to use the already wet towel to dry myself. He told me that slaves have to make do with their Masters' towels after they have already been used. I complied and dried myself as well as I could with the damp towel.

Once we were both dry, S. didn't replace the collar, but told me to follow him to the living room and we both snuggled on the couch for a while. It was really nice. :) Around lunch time, S. told me that I should go prepare us lunch, but that he was going to put the ball gag on me while I was doing it. This served a dual purpose: To ensure my silence while I worked on our lunches, and because he knows that the ball gag makes my jaw very sore and he enjoyed the thought of me trying to eat lunch immediately after removing the gag, with an aching jaw.

So I went to work in the kitchen, with the ball gag deep in my mouth, forcing my jaw as wide as it could go. It was a weird feeling to be doing such a mundane task with a gag inserted. I found it very distracting! I wondered what exactly to make but since I had no way to ask S. what he wanted, I decided to make a number of different small dishes and that way he could just pick what he wanted. It took quite a while to get everything ready and set the table, and then I went in to where he was on the computer and touched him on the shoulder. I pointed to indicate the food was ready.

"I'll be there in just a minute," S. replied, grinning at my red face. So I sat on the edge of the bed, next to the computer desk and waited. S. chatted continuously at me as if nothing were going on, and eventually turned around and smirked: "Why are you being so quiet?" he taunted: "Oh right, you can't speak, can you?" I hung my head and blushed more. He kept this up for a little while, and then finally stood up and reached behind my head and unbuckled the gag. "Oooo you drooled a lot!" he teased me when he saw how wet the gag and my chin were. I hung my head more, and tried to wipe away the drool.

I then followed S. to the table and we sat down to eat. My jaw was aching because the ball gag causes me to stretch my mouth to it's absolute limit and I had been wearing it for quite a while. I looked at all the nice food in front of me and wondered which would require me opening my mouth the least. I settled on the soup to start with and put tiny spoonfuls into my mouth between my barely parted lips, rubbing my jaw from time to time to ease my sore muscles. S. found this quite amusing. Eventually, as the meal progressed and the soreness abated, I was able to eat more normally, but I knew from past experience that my jaw would ache for several days to come whenever I opened my mouth wide.

The Game

I'm still reeling from this evening. I've never experienced anything like it. So I'll do my best to describe it all. Not sure if I can begin to do it justice though. I'll try...

Today, I had to go to work all day. It sucked to leave S. at my house in the morning. I told him he should help himself to anything and rest. Of course, as always, he had his own ideas, and while I was working, I got a series of text messages from him informing me that he was taking care of my pet, sweeping the steps and path clear from snow, salting the path, doing my dishes, hunting for my mop, etc.      

After work, I went straight home, and it was wonderful to come home to S.! :) What a treat to walk in the door and into his arms!!! We talked and snuggled for a while on the couch, talking about our days, and then I went to take a bath. S. told me that he had an "Event" prepared for me after my bath and that I shouldn't bother putting my clothes back on once I was finished. Needless to say, I spent most of my bath, wondering and worrying about what in the world S. had planned for me. My imagination was running pretty wild!!!

When I finished, I dried myself off, and then opened the door and stood there, clutching my towel against myself for some measure of reassurance, and feeling great trepidation about what might be about to happen. S. immediately approached the door with a blindfold in hand and placed it over my eyes. Have you ever been blindfolded when wet and naked? Talk about feeling vulnerable!!! I stood there. now blind, still holding my towel tightly against me, and listened as S. walked away from and then came back.

He commanded me to open my mouth, and I felt the pacifier gag (the one that makes me drool uncontrollably) pushed deep into my mouth. He fastened it tightly and then told me to turn around. I obeyed and felt a leather collar pulled tight and buckled around my neck, followed by a leash being clipped to it.

S. then spun me back around and told me: "Get on your hands and knees. I dropped my towel, and hesitated for a moment, but he put his hands on my shoulders, and pushed me toward the floor so I submitted and dropped to all fours. I felt him step behind me into the bathroom and bend down. He began speaking:

"Here are the rules, slave. We are going to play a little game. I've hidden some of your toys around various parts of the house. Your job is to find them. I am going to insert a vibrating bullet and use the controller to indicate whether you are hot or cold when you are searching for each toy. The lowest setting means cold, medium means you are getting warmer, and high means you are very close to a toy. But here's the catch: Once you find the toy, I will use it on you until you find the next toy."

I remained there, on all fours, swaying slightly, trying to take all of this in. "Do you understand, slave?" S. demanded. I nodded and grunted "Uh-huh" through the pacifier gag, already trying hard not to drool. Next thing I knew, S. barked "Spread your legs, slave!" at me and I tried to comply by spreading my legs farther apart. But apparently it wasn't sufficient because I almost immediately felt his hands pushing my knees even farther apart. Then I felt his fingers pushing a bullet vibrator deep into my pussy. He paused,before and after inserting it, to tease my clit with his fingers and I gasped and tried not to close my legs. then I heard something I couldn't identify and next thing I knew, his finger was in my ass, spreading lube inside me. I groaned and tried to move away, but got pulled up short by the leash. Before I could process what was happening, S. slipped the second bullet from my double bullet vibrator into my ass. Having just experienced vibration in my ass for the first time yesterday, I knew it was going to drive me completely crazy.

Once S. finished inserting both bullets, he stood up and I pulled my legs in to a more comfortable position, my knees already starting to ache a bit against the hard tile bathroom floor. "Okay, let's start this on low" announced S. and he turned on the bullets, causing me to jump as a steady low vibration filled both my pussy and my anus. "Let's go slave!" I felt the crop tap against my bare ass, and I unsteadily moved forward on all fours, blind and gagged, leashed and with the vibrating bullets deep inside me. I moved slowly, already disoriented, and feeling tentatively in front of me with my hands as I progressed. Before long, I felt the vibration in my anus and pussy increase and I knew I must be getting warmer. I made a guess as to the direction I should go and started to turn toward where I thought the living room was, but I was immediately pulled up short by the leash and the vibration slowed again. So I turned back to my original path along the hallway, feeling completely helpless and humiliated to be controlled by a combination of a leash and vibrations in my most private parts.

A few more feet and the vibrations inside me turned to high, and I knew I must be close. I had no idea what toy I was near or whether it was on the floor or somewhere else. Plus, I was finding it difficult to focus with the vibrator on the high setting. I reached out tentatively with one hand and felt around me. Soon my fingers encountered something on the floor and I let my fingers explore it. It only took a few seconds and I immediately emitted a muffled groan through my gag: I had felt metal and a metal chain. Without a doubt, I knew these were the dreaded and very painful nipple clamps. And according to S.'s rules, I knew that he was about to use them on me.

S. heard my muffled groan and said: "What's the problem, slave? If you didn't want me to use them against you, then you shouldn't have found them!" He turned the vibrating bullets off and ordered me to kneel. He then teased each nipple until it was hard by sucking on it and then attached the clamps. They HURT!!!! And I wasn't even moving yet! :( I was just dreading what would happen when I started to crawl with them on!!! But I also knew it would be to my advantage to do it quickly in order to find the next toy and have the clamps removed. 

Once S. was satisfied that the clamps were tight enough, he took up the leash and remote for the bullets once again and set the vibration to low once again. I was in the hallway but not entirely sure which way I was facing at this point, and unsure of where to move. So I simply started to move forward once again. But I was immediately brought up by a tug on the leash, and a steady pressure on the collar, pulling me toward the right, so I slowly spun until the tugging around my neck stopped. By this point, I was really disoriented and unsure of where I was or what to do next. My nipples were aching pretty badly and the low grade vibration in my pussy and anus were distracting me as well. So I hesitated, unmoving. But not for long: I soon felt the crop swing against my ass and I started and moved obediently forward once again, feeling like some sort of pack animal.

I felt myself cross a threshold and knew from the feeling of the rug under my fingers that I was in the living room. I felt the vibrations increase to medium and moved forward slightly more confidently. My nipples were starting to kill me with the chain from the clamps swinging back and forth with each movement and causing more pain. I wanted them off as soon as possible! So I crawled forward, feeling my way until the vibration increased to high. Having learned from my previous experience, I stopped short and began to explore the area around me with my fingers, searching for something that shouldn't be there. It took me a few moments, but my hand eventually encountered some type of fabric. I was confused: I don't have any fabric toys and yet it shouldn't be there on the living room floor. Puzzled, I pulled the fabric closer and felt the drag on it. Something heavier than the fabric was being dragged on it. So I felt around the fabric and my fingers finally closed on a long hard plastic object with a double bulb: One partway along it and the other at the end. I immediately recognized one of my vibrator toys with a secondary bulb for clit stimulation.

"Very good, slave." Now I get to use this on you for 5 minutes before you move on to look for the next toy," S. announced. He bent down and released the nipple clamps. I had expected to feel relief once they were off, but instead the pain doubled as the blood rushed to my abused nipples, causing me to cry out in pain. Before I could recover, S. moved behind me and pulled out the bullet in my pussy, replacing it immediately with the vibrator on full power. I stood there, on all fours, my nipples screaming at me, and tried not to sway as I felt the vibrator inserted deep inside me, the nub stimulating my clit. S. kept varying the positions the toy was in, never giving me a chance to adjust. He called out the minutes as they ticked by: "Three more minutes, two more, one more minute, slave." Before he was done, I came: A small orgasm that nevertheless caused me to gush fluid. The feeling of being blindfolded, gagged and leashed, and unable to control anything that was happening to me, made my head reel. Once the five minutes were up, S. removed the toy and replaced the bullet once more.

"Time to keep going, slave!" He announced. I hesitated again, my head spinning, but moved forward again as soon as he applied the crop to my bare ass. I was now moving across the living room to the other side. I could feel the vibration go from slow to medium and then to high as I altered my course slightly. Knowing I was close, I halted, and started hesitantly to feel around me. I was trying to think what toy I might encounter next. My nipples ached and my pussy tingled. I was having a difficult time focusing. Eventually, my fingers encountered something long and thin and I moaned and shook my head back and forth in denial, having recognized the flicker whip. My ass was already pretty sore from the previous night and I dreaded having to endure a whipping while blindfolded, gagged, leashed, and on all fours.

"That's right. You know what that is," S told me, a smirk in his tone. I waited for the vibrator to at least be turned back off but he left it at full throttle: "the bullets will remain on high until I am done with this next part, he informed me. I hung my head a bit and tried to brace myself for what was to come. A whistling sounded through the air and the first impact hit my already tender right butt check. I moaned through the gag as pain traveled through my body. S. soon followed it with a second to my left cheek. he continued to whip my ass cheeks in turn but without a clear pattern so I couldn't anticipate him: One on the left, two on the right, three on the left, one on the right, etc.

By the time he was done, I was trembling convulsively and wondering how in the world I was going to continue this game of his. My pussy was tingling from having just cum and the sensation of the bullets in my pussy and anus on high. And my ass was on fire, the new welts stinging like crazy. My knees and shoulders ached and I was completely disoriented and pretty close to being in full fledged subspace.

"Turn around, slave," S. commanded me. And I felt the vibrator return to low once again, giving me a blissful break from the constant stimulation. I quickly turned at the tug on the leash, afraid that any hesitation would earn me a slap from the crop on my already painful ass. S. must have sensed that I was fading and becoming more disoriented by this point, because he added some verbal directions as I crawled forward, telling me to return through the doorway and then crawl through into the bedroom. I obeyed, my sore knees protesting and felt the bullets change to medium vibrations as soon as I entered. I moved tentatively to the left, toward the desk, and was rewarded by increased vibes. Once I got right up to the desk, the stimulation was on high once more and I knew I was close. I reached around me, desperate to find whatever it was that was nearby, hoping it might be the final toy I had to find. But I couldn't locate anything around me.

S. took pity on me and told me: "Check the chair, slave. You know where the chair is." So I reached up and did. My fingers followed the legs of the chair to the seat, and there I touched a foreign object: A quick feel informed me that the silicone bulbous shape under my fingers was the largest butt plug. I moaned in despair and felt drool slide down my chin, as I was still unable to swallow from having the pacifier gag inserted and it was now starting to overflow.

S. didn't give me a chance to prepare. He pulled the bullet out of my anus and immediately inserted the large plug, pushing against it to be sure that it was deeply seated. I groaned at the additional pressure on my knees and the sensation of fullness deep into my ass. "You better hurry up and find the next toy then, hadn't you, if you want the plug out," S. taunted me. "You have one more toy to find before the game is over," he informed me. So I turned away from the desk and once again resumed my slow crawl across the floor. I felt my leash being yanked to the left this time so I moved toward the other side of the bedroom and the vibrations, now in my pussy only since the plug had replaced the anal bullet, increase from low to medium, and then to high. The remaining bullet, trailed on the floor, making a tremendous racket as it vibrated against the wood. "Tsk, tsk, what WILL the neighbors think!?" S. taunted me, causing me to push my exhausted body forward even faster.

I searched around desperately for the next and final toy, my fingers sliding over the floorboards until my hand bumped into a large and heavy object. I quickly identified it as the Hitachi wand. I simultaneously felt fear and relief. I was relieved because it wasn't a toy that caused pain, but was also afraid because I had never experienced someone else using the wand on me and my pussy was already so swollen, I thought I might go out of my mind when S. turned it on.

S. commanded me to turn around 180 degrees and guided me with a steady pull on the leash until I was positioned to his satisfaction. Then I heard him sit down behind me. "I'm going to use the wand on you for 7 minutes, he informed me: 3 and a half on low and 3 and a half on high." Seven minutes may not sound like much, but it usually takes me less than two to cum with the Hitachi wand just on the low setting even when I'm not at all aroused to start with. And I pretty much turn it off the instant I start to cum because I can't stand the stimulation once I'm that aroused. I couldn't imagine what 7 minutes with it being pressed into my pussy was going to feel like. My head was spinning and I panted through the gag.

S. commanded me to spread my legs once more and I struggled to comply. My knees were killing me by now and my entire body was still trembling from the earlier whipping. I felt as if none of my joints had any strength left in them. My ass was on fire, the welts stinging fiercely, my nipples still ached dully and I had drool dripping down my chin. I was prevented from moving my neck freely by the restricting leather collar and leash, and I was already halfway to subspace. I had never felt so vulnerable, exposed or helpless in my life.

I pushed my protesting body to assume the position S. had commanded and tried to brace myself for the Hitachi wand. I have a head attachment on it that allows one part to be inserted deeply, while the main head remains against the clit, stimulating it directly. I felt S. push the attachment into my pussy and shove it in as deeply as it would go. He then adjusted the head of the wand so it was directly against my clit and turned it on low. "Three and a half minutes," he said.

As the powerful vibrations began, I nearly lost it and pulled my legs closed, but I somehow managed to remain in position. The sensation was crazy. To have that level of stimulation being wielded against me by someone else when my body and mind were already completely spent was insane. I was completely defenseless and I simply gave myself over to the stimulation. I tried hanging my head and arching my back upward to steady myself a bit, but S. immediately grabbed my long pony tail and yanked my head all the way back so my pussy was even more exposed and I had no way to brace myself at all.

At this point, I lost all control and a river of drool pooled down my chin continuously as I began to cum hard. Usually I would have immediately turned off the wand, but that wasn't going to happen tonight. Instead, my now aching clit and pussy continued to be assaulted by the powerful vibrations of the wand and I moaned, groaned, whimpered, and writhed, as much as the gag would allow. S. continually moved the head of the wand around, preventing numbness from setting in, or allowing me to become accustomed to any particular stimulation.

"Now three and a half minutes on high," he announced. I had expected him to turn the wand off and then switch it on high, giving me a chance to brace myself. But, instead, he immediately switched it onto the most powerful level making me gasp and pant. At this point, I think I was pretty much cumming continuously, unable to stop. My entire body shook as the waves took over my body and I just tried to endure until the time was up. I could hear the drool rushing down my chin as I salivated helplessly and the drops land in a puddle on the floor before me. It was humiliating to know that I was gushing from both ends and completely unable to stop myself.

Finally, S. turned off the wand and let go of my hair and I hung my head, completely spent, tremors shaking my entire body. It's over, I thought to myself. I did it. Thank God! But little did I know, S. had one more thing in store for me. I heard him move around to the front of me and he removed first the collar and leash, and then the ball gag. "Wow, look at that puddle of drool on the floor," he mocked me, "you are a dirty slave!" I moaned and tried turn my head away, but as I was still blindfolded, I wasn't sure where away was.

I expected S. to remove the blindfold next and tell me it was over, but instead he commanded me to kneel up. I pushed my aching, trembling body upward and complied. I could feel him standing very close in front of me, and as he removed the pacifier gag, he snapped "Keep your mouth open" before I had a chance to rest my aching jaws. I obeyed, now getting some idea about what he was up to, and immediately felt his cock inserted into my mouth. "Suck, slave!" he commanded me. I steadied myself by holding onto S's hips as I complied, sucking hard on his cock which immediately grew enormous, filling my mouth completely.

I continued to suck and use my tongue, alternating the two sensations I know please him the most, until he grabbed my head and pulled my face back and forth, face fucking me. I tried hard not to gag (I have a very sensitive gag reflex) and continued to try to please him as he thrust more and more deeply into my mouth. Finally, when I thought I wouldn't be able to keep my jaws open another second, he withdrew himself from my mouth and came explosively over my chest and belly. I have never felt so much cum in my life! I was still blindfolded, and it felt as if three men were cumming on me at once! Every time I thought he must be done, another load of hot cum hit my chest, dripping down me.

Finally, S. expended his load, and stood there, panting, with me kneeling before him, cum and drool dripping freely from my body, trembling from head to toe. He reached down and removed the blindfold at long last and I blinked up at him briefly before shutting my eyes again. I was deep in subspace and unable to handle any more stimulation.

"You can stand up now...if you can," S. told me, as I knelt at his feet, swaying and shaking helplessly. I staggered to my feet and stood there completely disoriented and unable to keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds at a time. S. seemed to realize my condition and he led me gently to the bathroom and helped me into the tub, running the hot water high to fill the tub up fast. All I could do was sit there and shake. I'm not exactly sure what happened after that. I remember him asking me something about what kind of soap I preferred but I was completely unable to speak or even process the question, so he must have chosen one for me. I remember the feeling of a washcloth on my skin, gently washing me all over. I remember the trembling slowly abating. I kept leaning toward the outside of the tub, wanting to be close to him. After a bit, S. sat on the edge of the tub and I was able to press my forehead into his lap while he bathed me. That calmed me down more than anything.

Once he was done cleaning me, S. allowed me to sit in the hot water for some time and I clung to him as he sat on the edge of the tub, with my head in his lap. This felt better than anything: Just being close to him. I felt the trembling slowly abate and then finally stop completely. I opened my eyes for a few seconds at a time, and then more frequently. Eventually, (I have no idea how long), I was able to open my eyes all the way and look up at him. At that moment, I pretty much would have done anything in the world he told me to.

S. was so sweet and he held my face and covered me with gentle kisses and told me I was beautiful and talked to me until I started to come back to myself some more. He then helped me out of the tub and dried me off before leading me back to the bedroom and getting me under the covers with him cuddled beside me. Again, I have no idea how long we were there, but I slowly regained control of my mental and physical faculties and after a while, I was able to talk about the experience and begin to analyze it a little bit. S. continually kissed me and told me he loved me. :)

After quite some time, I was finally able to sit up and told him I was fine to go cook dinner now. So he went off to take his own bath and clean up. I went to the kitchen and made dinner, but I soon realized that I wasn't even close to being back to normal yet. I dropped every other thing I picked up, and when it was time to set the table, it took me several minutes to puzzle out whether I should place spoons or forks at the settings (this shouldn't have been a difficult decision since we were eating soup, but at the time it seemed too complex a question for my exhausted brain to cope with). I felt a deep exhaustion in my joints, and so I asked S. if he would carry the soup out for me because I was frankly afraid that, in my state of disorientation and exhaustion, I would most likely drop it.

S. kindly did bring the bisque to the table for us, and we ate and then watched a movie. But within minutes of the start of the film, I could barely keep my eyes open. S. noticed this and asked if I wanted to put my head on his lap. I said yes please!!! This was exactly what I had been desperately wishing for (isn't he the best Dom in the entire world?) and I was soon cuddled in his lap, with his arms around me. I dozed on and off for the next hour or so, waking periodically as he gently kissed my face. And when I woke up, I felt refreshed and better able to function.

It's now late at night and I need to get to sleep. S. is already in bed beside me, fast asleep, looking completely adorable and heartbreakingly sexy. I long to cuddle beside him and feel his warm skin next to mine. But this experience was so completely overwhelming, I just had to get it out. I've always processed things by writing about them, and this was something I needed to do before I could rest.

My final words before I go sleep beside my beloved Dom are gratitude: I am so very very very grateful to have a partner who cares about me so deeply, who is so creative and thoughtful in planning things for me, who can read me and knows when to push and when to be gentle, and most especially who provides the best aftercare in the world! I am humbled and blessed and eternally grateful for my S. I am completely head over heels in love with him. I hope to spend every minute of the rest of the life with him.