Cuffed at Bedtime

Well S. kept his word and last night, at bedtime, I was put in cuffs and my ankles were attached closely together with only a couple of inches between them, and my wrists were cuffed above me to the wrought iron bedframe...

...And it was awful!!! :(  After only about 10 minutes, both of my arms were asleep from the tips of my fingers, all the way up to my elbows. The tingling was driving me crazy and worrying me. I figured if my circulation was cut off this badly after only a few minutes, it was probably a very bad idea to be cuffed like this for the entire night.

I tried really hard to be good and not complain though: I bit my lip and tried to lie still and be patient. But it was maddening! The longer I lay there, the worse I felt. I tried again and again, unsuccessfully, to readjust my position in a more comfortable way. But  the way I was chained allowed me very little movement, and no matter what I did, it just got worse and worse. My shoulders started to ache first, probably from being held forcibly in one position, and after a while, my neck started to hurt as well. My hands and arms wouldn't wake up no matter what I did. I don't know how long I lay there in complete misery, but it seemed like an eternity! I guess I was making quite a racket with the metal part of the restraints against the wrought iron bed frame after a while, trying desperately to adjust my position, because S. finally woke up and turned over and asked if I was okay. I admitted that I couldn't feel my hands at all.

To my immense relief, S. detached me from the bedframe and simply linked my wrist cuffs together in the same way my ankles were. I was still bound hand and foot, and movement was difficult, but oh my dear God, what a blessed relief not to have my arms held forcibly above my head any more!!!! I rotated my aching shoulders and neck, and repeatedly flexed my poor hands until I had sensation in them again. I think I said "Thank you!!!" about 50 times in a row to S. because I was so grateful for the relief! I even called him "Sir" without prompting which is pretty much unheard of for me. I honestly could have unashamedly kissed his feet I was so grateful!

After that, I was finally able to fall asleep, and I slept deeply for a few hours, worn out. Then I woke up and had to use the bathroom. I guess, my awkward movements as I wrestled myself up so I could get out of bed woke S. up because he turned over and asked what I was doing. When I told him I had to pee, he told me he would be nice and detach the wrist cuffs from one another but I still had to have my ankles bound together for the remainder of the night.

So I shuffled off to the bathroom, one small step at a time, due to the few inches play allowed between my ankles and then gratefully returned to bed. The rest of the night I didn't sleep as well because my ankles were beginning to ache a bit and I wasn't as deeply asleep so every time I turned over, the loud clinking of the metal restraints woke me up. But I didn't mind at all: Compared to having my hands bound above my head, this was complete bliss!!!!

Nervous

Last night, S. told me that he is going to shackle me to the bedframe tonight, all night long. I'm nervous!!!!! I'm kind of hoping he will forget or decide not to do it. The idea of having both my hands and feet tied in such a way that I'm completely helpless the entire night long is scary. And I don't think I'll be sleeping much if I can't turn over or move at all: I usually move a LOT! Oh, and as usual, there's the eternal question of how I'm going to be able to go pee in the middle of the night. S. said I'll just have to hold it. :( :( :( But I think (hope to god) that he was joking!!!! He also mentioned using a gag...

I have a feeling it's going to be a very, very, very long night...

Regarding Belts

Yesterday, S. and I were browsing some BDSM blogs, looking at different pictures, and we saw one of a man using his belt to whip a woman's ass. We both stopped and just stared! I don't know what it was like for him, but it was a total doh! moment for me. All this time, we had had this very interesting toy at our disposal and it had never occurred to either of us!!!

I won't give you any points for guessing what my evening entailed following our blog viewing... I got to try out being on the receiving end of S's belt, of course! He used both the flicker whip and the belt and so, in between crying out in pain, I was able to analyze how they feel different. Here are my mental notes:

When S. first used the belt, he didn't hit very hard and it barely hurt at all. I was thinking to myself that this wasn't so bad!!! But then he adjusted it and hit me much harder and YEOW it seriously hurt!!! The pain from the whip is very different: That pain is very, very sharp and sudden, but it only covers a small area. The pain from the belt was much "thuddier" and less stingy but it really smarted for a long time afterwards. Also, as I discovered the next morning, while the whip causes welts, the belt appears to cause some bruising.

S. kept switching back and forth, so it was very hard for me to brace myself. I didn't know whether to expect a sudden stinging whip in a small area, or the thudding of the leather belt across my entire ass. Also, the sound the belt made when hitting my skin was much louder than the whip: The WHACK must have been heard in the next county over! I had to bury my head in the pillow for fear of waking up the neighbors with my cries of pain.

And so today I'm sporting an interesting array of bruises and welts from S's little evening of experimentation, and as usual, it hurts to sit down. I can't remember the last time I was able to sit down comfortably for several days at a stretch. Sigh...

I wonder what other common household items we've overlooked as potential toys? Hmmm....

Ass Update

As you may recall, a little over two weeks ago, I received my first serious punishment from S: He whipped me very very hard and my ass was quite a mess after that. (You can read about it  Here)  He broke the skin in several places and I spent the next full week in a lot of pain every time I tried to sit down. The worst day was was when I went to the movies with him and some friends. My ass was killing me by about 30 minutes into the movie, but I couldn't adjust my position constantly or our friends would have wondered what in the world was going on. I had to sit there in agony for the next hour and a half. I've never been so glad to see a movie end in my life!

The picture above is pretty but doesn't really do justice to how my ass looked like when S was done with it. He somehow managed to not only cause welts and cuts but also some spectacular bruising on one side to boot! Owwwwwwwie!!! It's taken over two weeks for it to heal completely, and I'll admit that I fear the whip a lot more than I used to!

As you can imagine, I haven't even considered repeating the behavior for which I was punished...

Sadistic Games

Sometimes I wonder where in the world S comes up with these ideas! He never ceases to amaze me with the incredibly twisted scenarios he comes up with!!! As I sit here writing this, my left wrist is sprained, my knees are killing me, my hips ache and my neck is super stiff, oh and my ass hurts (what else is new? Since S. moved in, my ass hurts about 90 percent of the time. He sure does love his whips!)... all courtesy of the new game S. came up with to play with me last night.

So, where to begin? If you've been reading my blog, you know that last week, after S punished me for mouthing off to him about our sex life, he promised me a grueling game on Sunday and gave me a preview of it as a part of the punishment. But when we came back from camping on Sunday, we were both exhausted and nothing happened. We went merrily about our week and I figured he had forgotten all about it. Unfortunately for me, S. rarely forgets his promises...

So, last night, I was happily curled up in the tub with a book when S. cracked the door open and told me that the game was ready for me and that I should let him know as soon as my bath was done. Then he grinned wickedly and shut the door, while I stared after him with an open mouth. Dammit! I hadn't been expecting that at all! And I was kind of in the mood to just snuggle. But sadly, I don't get to make the choices about when we snuggle and when I have to play one of his sadistic games. Needless, to say, I spent the rest of my bath worrying about what was going to happen to me, instead of relaxing!

Finally, I gave up, and got out of the tub and dried off. I stood there, holding my towel around me for a minute, wondering if I should dress, but I figured S. would just immediately order me to undress again anyway, so there was no point. Timidly, clutching my towel, I opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway. I called out: "I'm done with my bath!"

"Good!" S. replied from the bedroom and ordered me to return to the bathroom and wait. I complied, and stood there, holding my towel tightly against me for comfort and protection. Before long, S. joined me in the bathroom and immediately blindfolded me, then left the room again. I clutched my towel tighter, and backed up a step or two, feeling very vulnerable. I soon heard his footsteps returning and then he commanded me to open my mouth. I did as he said, and felt the bit gag being inserted. He tightened it around the back of my neck and I bit down softly against the now familiar rubber bit, wondering what would come next. I didn't have long to wait, because I almost immediately felt the collar being fastened around my neck and then the click of the leash being attached to it.Gah... I always find being leashed particularly humiliating. Being led around like a dog just galls me.

"Get down!" S. commanded, with a tug on the leash. I hesitated for a moment and then dropped my towel, knowing I couldn't keep it around me while crawling on all fours. S. tugged again to encourage me to speed up and I got down on my hands and knees. S. told me to follow him and led me out of the bathroom, tugging the leash to urge me forward. Now this may sound stupid because I've lived here for ten years and I know the house very well but whenever I'm blindfolded, I seem to lose all my sense of orientation, so I have to feel my way forward, and am in constant fear of hitting a doorjamb or a wall or something. I can't explain it exactly, I think it's because I'm in such a vulnerable position, I'm not able to maintain a good grip on where I am in space while S. has me tied or on a leash. So I always seem to move slower than he would like, and become especially hesitant when approaching doorways. Of course, this always seems to make S. impatient and often results in being forcibly pulled forward by the leash or else being whipped until I increase my speed.

Anyway, after some hesitation, I made it through the doorway and into the hallway. S. then ordered me to stay put and explained the rules of the game to me:

"I've hidden a carabiner somewhere on the floor in each of three rooms: The hallway, the living room, and the bedroom. You will need to find the carabiner in each room. I'm going to insert ice into your pussy and it will serve as a countdown device. If you find the carabiner before the ice melts, then I will give you a hint about where the next one is hidden. If you don't find it in time, you will be whipped 10 times on each ass cheek before attempting the next room."

I groaned inarticulately in response. "What's the matter, slave?" S. taunted me. He seems to enjoy asking me questions when I'm gagged and can't respond. Grrr. I just shook my head and tried to steel myself for what was to come. I heard S. move behind me and I immediately tightened my legs together, dreading the freezing/burning sensation of the ice in such a sensitive area. S smacked me on the ass and said: "You better let me put the ice in: It's already melting! Time is running out!" Arrrgh! I hung my head and complied and within seconds, the painful sensation of ice directly against my clit had me gasping. Once S. was satisfied it was in place, he picked up the leash and urged me forward to start the game.

Groaning, I moved forward gingerly each movement grinding the ice in deeper and causing rivulets of melted water to drip down my inner thighs. Goosebumps broke out across my body. I swept my hands across the floor in front of me as I moved, using touch to search for the hidden carabiner. I felt all along the carpet, crawled across the hardwood floor, explored the doorways, tried to search behind the big basket that sits there, but nothing. By now, I was getting desperate: The ice was melting fast and I was in pain both from that and from the pressure on my knees as I moved repeatedly across the floor. I held out both hands helplessly, to signify that I couldn't find it.

"Keep hunting!" S. ordered me and yanked on the leash, forcing me back to all fours. I groaned and, in a desperate last attempt, ran my hand over the shoes that sit by the door. To my immense gratitude, I heard a sudden clink, and I frantically felt around the floor, until my fingers encountered metal at last. I closed my hand around it and held it up to show I had found it! S. checked the ice and there was still a sliver left! Thank god, I thought! I had narrowly avoided a whipping! S informed me that I would be given 3 minutes to rest between rooms, so I should take advantage of it. I eased myself off my aching knees and sat on my bottom, panting, and trying to prepare myself for the next room.

After what seemed like only 30 seconds, S. tugged on the leash, and forced me back to all fours. He led me to the living room and had me stop at the entrance. "There's something I haven't mentioned yet," he said with a sadistic smile in his voice, and I cringed, wondering what new twist was coming: "Each time you find a carabiner, it will be added to your body for the next room." I groaned, realizing what he had in mind. And, sure enough, within less than a minute, he had put the ankle cuffs on me and used the carabiner I had just found to shackle my ankles together. leaving only a couple of inches of space between them. This new complication would make it much more difficult for me to move with any speed and would make finding the next carabiner in the large space of the living room a lot more challenging.

"What's the matter, slave?" S taunted me. "The game would be boring if the difficulty didn't increase with each new level!" I shook my head mutely in disagreement, thinking to myself that the game was most certainly NOT boring for me: Searching for a small item in a large space while blindfolded, gagged and leashed, with ice in my pussy was quite exciting enough without adding shackles to the menu!!! But of course, my opinion doesn't matter, and so, I resigned myself to shuffling forward, pulling my chained ankles behind me.

S moved behind me again and I tried to prepare myself for the feeling of ice once more on my already sore pussy, but instead, I felt the vibrator being inserted deep inside me and turned on. I gasped at the sensation, and tried to adjust my position so it wasn't so distracting. S just pushed it in deeper and then added the ice cube so it sat right against my clit. "Uhhhhhhhhh" I moaned, arching my back. "Time to play!" S laughed at me and I felt the whip against my ass. My head whirling, I obediently moved forward, tentatively feeling ahead of and around me as I dragged my shackled ankles behind me. Each movement made the vibrator's distraction more intense and the cold water from the melting ice dripped down my legs once more. I was sweating from the stress and exertion, but I also had goosebumps from the freezing ice. I tried to speed up, afraid of the pain of the whip if I didn't find the carabiner in time, and my breath came in frantic gasps.

I moved across the entire living room in this way, without finding anything. Had I missed it? My head whirled. I was having a very difficult time focusing. By now my breaths were accompanied by desperate whimpers. I kept moving, knowing I probably had less than a minute left before the ice was completely gone. I rounded the coffee table and pivoted on already painful knees, and THERE! My hand encountered metal near the foot of the couch. I snatched it and held it up, shaking and whimpering.

S. praised me and verified that there was indeed a small sliver of ice left. "Good girl!" he said: "Now for the last room!"

Groaning in pain and exhaustion, I slowly crawled after him, trying to avoid putting pressure on the most painful areas of my knees, and favoring my left wrist which somehow had gotten sprained during one of our sessions last week and was now aching badly. My shackled ankles made moving at any speed difficult and so I crawled along slowly and painfully, until I finally reached the bedroom.

As I had feared, S informed me that the second carabiner would now be added to my body. I moaned loudly and shook my head vehemently. How in the world was I supposed to search the bedroom with BOTH my hands and feet bound together!!!??? But S. ignored my complaints, and got the wrist cuffs out. I pulled away several times when he was attempting to buckle them on, fighting him, and he yanked me sharply back into place, ordering me to be still. I was desperate by now, so I continued to resist, but to no avail: He's stronger than I am to start with and I was already exhausted, and I was soon on all fours once more with less than two inches of play between either my wrists or ankles. I wobbled there uncertainly, moaning softly to myself. How in the world was I supposed to search the room like this???

S. moved behind me and pushed the vibrator in more deeply, making me groan, and then I heard the telltale sound of a tube of lube being opened. I moaned loudly and shook my head again. I knew what was coming. Sure enough, I soon felt S's finger deep in my ass, lubing me up. I groaned, shook my head, and tried to pull away, but to no avail. God, I HATE that sensation. (S. has decided I'm to be trained again for anal use, so he's been using the hated plugs on me daily. Have I mentioned how much I HATE it??? ARGH!) I tried to steel my butt cheeks as a defense but couldn't keep it up for long. So, all too soon, the butt plug was deep inside me, and I writhed, hating the feeling of it invading my most private space. S. left to go wash his hands and then returned, and added the last piece of ice, making me shudder and cry out through the gag. I was very close to being spent. "Start searching!" he commanded and I tried desperately to comply, just wanting it to be over.

The bedroom isn't that big, but with both my wrists and ankles shackled, moving forward became an ordeal, and I had to stop and search each area slowly because I could no longer sweep my hands out in front of and around me: All I could manage was to search the floor area just in front of me. I started for the desk area and slowly and painfully felt around there. "Since you found the other two carabiners, I'll give you a hint:" S told me: "It's not in this part of the room."

I groaned and painfully pivoted on my agonized knees, turning to head back the other way. At this point, I realized that the only good thing about the ice was that I had left a trail of melted water across the hardwood floor behind me as it dripped down my thighs and I was now able to slide my knees across the floor on the wet surface without having to try to crawl one painful inch at a time. This sped up my return to the other side of the room considerably.

But, just as I was starting to feel better, S. brought the whip down sharply across my bare ass cheeks and I jumped and yelped in pain. "Keep searching!" He said in a cheerful voice and whipped me again. I moaned and tried to move forward faster, desperately searching each small area I could reach at a time.

I continued across the floor like this: Blind, gagged, leashed, with wrists and ankles shackled, my pussy on fire, the vibrator deep inside me distracting me, the butt plug making me crazy with every movement, and with the sharp crack of the whip hounding me forward. Let me tell you: With all that going on, just breathing would be a challenge!!! Trying to find a tiny piece of metal in a big room, is madness!!! I was finding it nearly impossible to think straight: Up until now, I had followed a nice systematic search pattern, but I was so frantic by this point, I just swept desperately in front of me, unsure of where I was, or what area I was searching. I was simply desperate to find the carabiner no matter what and end the agony. S continued relentlessly to whip me every few seconds, making me jump and cry out, losing track of whether I had just searched the floor in front of me or not. I sobbed through the gag and moved forward frantically trying to locate the carabiner.

I felt like I was in some kind of a never ending nightmare by this point. I had no idea where in the room I was: For that matter, I wasn't even sure I was in the bedroom any more! Most of my attention was on my knees which were in complete agony and the rest was focused on my ass which S was whipping more and more frequently. I barely remembered to search the floor as I moved forward, sobbing and whimpering with every movement.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of agony, when I reached the far end of the room, my shaking fingers randomly encountered metal, and I snatched it from the floor, holding it aloft in weak triumph, my body sagging against the side of the bed. I was trembling and whimpering. Things got pretty fuzzy after that. I know S. removed the gag, collar and leash and unhooked my wrists and ankles. He also removed the vibrator and butt plug (I despise the feeling of it being pulled out, but after that, oh my god, what a blessed relief not to be penetrated there!) I don't remember exactly how, but the next thing I was aware of, I was on the bed and he was connecting each of my wrists to my ankles, leaving me with my bare ass high in the air and my head down against the mattress. I soon felt him move behind me and penetrate me, pounding on me from behind.

This position seems to get me to cum faster than any other, and I soon was gasping as my face and chest were shoved hard into the mattress with each stroke. S. grabbed my hair and forcibly pulled my head up and back, causing my back to arch, and I came, and then collapsed back against the mattress, utterly spent. S. finished and then removed the shackles and held my trembling body for a long time until I was able to speak once again.

And so ends the recounting of yet another of S's wild games. I hope you enjoyed it! :) He is truly amazingly creative!!!

Feedback Please! :)

Hi everyone,

So, I've been writing this blog for a while, and I've gotten a few responses and comments here and there, but it's kind of strange writing for an unknown audience, you know? I primarily decided to start a blog because when I was looking into this lifestyle, it was other people's blogs, and especially slaveduties' that saved me! So I thought I'd put my own experiences out there for others who might be curious or just starting out.

But I'd love some feedback! What do my readers think of this blog? I know I write very lengthy posts: Are they too long? Do you enjoy the details? What about the images I include: Do they help illustrate the blog topics or just get in the way?

Do you have any feedback, comments, ideas, suggestions? I'd LOVE to hear from you! Remember, you can post anonymously so please share your opinion with me! :)

Camping

This weekend, S and I went camping with some friends. We were going to be sharing their very small RV with them, so I figured that any type of playing was completely out. But it turns out that S had other ideas...

The camper in question is a Jamboree: It's just one of those little old fashioned ones with a bed at one end, and another sleeping area over the driver and passenger's seats, with a tiny table and kitchen in between and a minuscule bathroom to one side. Our friends slept on the bed in the back, and S and I were to share the space over the driver's area. There were maybe two yards between the two beds.

I had been a little nervous about sleeping up there because I'm a bit claustrophobic and was worried about how I'd feel in a space where the ceiling was only a foot or so above me and I couldn't sit up. S was kind enough to sleep in the back part so I could be near the front, and it turned out just fine! I felt very comfortable with exit to the bed right there and the two windows open at our heads and feet. :)

The first night, when we went to bed, we were all very tired and I quickly fell asleep in S's arms. We didn't wake up until some time in the middle of the night when a big storm suddenly hit. I woke up suddenly when the lightning and thunder started and then huge raindrops started to hit the camper, making quite a racket!

I guess S thought this would be the perfect opportunity because, one moment I was lying there quietly listening to the rain, and the next, S had his hand clamped right over my mouth and he started to tease me. At first, he played with my nipples, teasing them, sucking on them, biting them, and making me squirm. Almost no sound escaped from his hand over my mouth and when any did, he simply pressed harder.

Then S moved down and ran his fingers between my legs, teasing my clit. I squirmed a bit and moaned, but his hand kept my head pressed against the bed and prevented any sound from coming out. As he continued to tease me, my breath came in gasps through flared nostrils. It was the strangest feeling, to be lying there in the pitch dark, only yards away from our friends, with the sound of rain all around and feeling him tease me with one hand while the other kept me securely in place and silent.

S continued to play with my clit and then penetrated me with his fingers. I writhed on the bed and moaned loudly, grateful now for S's hand restricting my airway and completely muffling any sounds I made, because the last thing I wanted was to wake our friends up! S continued to tease me relentlessly, occasionally whispering in my ear to check whether I was getting close. He ordered me to nod my head when I started to cum. I tried desperately not to move too much, because every time I did, the entire camper shook a little, and I was so worried about our friends figuring out what was happening.

Finally, I felt the telltale signs and my entire body stiffened and I came. I nodded when S asked me if I was cumming and I felt his hand come down even harder against my mouth. I breathed frantically through my nostrils until my body stopped shaking and then finally relaxed. When S let go of my mouth, my jaw was stiff from him holding me down so hard. I licked my dry lips and tried to get my breathing back to normal.

"And you were worried about not being able to play while we were camping..." S's amused whisper in my ear made me giggle a little and I leaned toward him in the dark and playfully bit him in response.