In Trouble...

Oh boy, I'm in trouble :(

Sunday night, S. told me that on Tuesday, I would have to insert the double vibrating bullets and use them on high for 10 minutes prior to each time I drove anywhere. Since I drive for work, he knew for sure that I would have to use the bullets at least 4 times during that day. I whined and complained, and argued about the logistics of carrying out his orders, but there was no changing his mind. So I gave up and tried to put it out of my mind until Tuesday.

Then Monday came, and I went off to work, but I wound up getting conjunctivitis. It started around midday with a slightly red and scratchy eye. Then it became worse and worse all afternoon and by Monday night, my eye was blood red and very itchy and uncomfortable. :(  I decided I needed to call the doctor first thing in the morning and see if I could get a prescription for some antibiotic eyedrops. I didn't even think about what S. had ordered me to do the following day because I was preoccupied with my eye, and he didn't bring it up either. 

Early this morning, I woke up and checked my eye in the mirror and, sure enough, it was all red and goopy and super itchy. So I called the doctor's office. It took several tries to get through, and when I finally did, the secretary told me they couldn't fit me in today. So I asked her to PLEASE get the doctor to at least fax a prescription for eyedrops to my pharmacy so my eye didn't get even worse overnight. She said she would check with the doctor and call me back to let me know.

I was mad that they couldn't fit me in and frustrated not knowing if I was going to get my prescription or not, so I dressed in a hurry and went off to work, feeling very grumpy. All I had on my mind were my itchy eye and the prescription. I didn't think about anything else. So, I got to work and worked steadily for several hours until S. texted me. We chatted briefly and then he suddenly asked:

"Wait a minute, did you perform the scenario with the double bullets?"

My heart nearly stopped when I read his words. I was like OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOO! I completely, totally forgot!!! :( :( :(  So I texted S. back and apologized profusely and said my mind had been full with thoughts of conjunctivitis and I totally forgot about it. And he hadn't reminded me!

His response came quickly: "It's not my job to remind you. You should have it in the back of your head after I command you to do something."

I couldn't argue with that I guess. So I felt awful! :( I kept apologizing. Then he told me I was going to be punished for not obeying him:

Tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm supposed to insert the Ben-Wa balls all day long from the time I leave for work, until the time I go to bed. And I cannot use any other toys or cum until the end of the following day on Thursday. This is a much much longer period of time than I have EVER used the Ben-Wa balls, and I know full well they are going to be making me completely insane within minutes after I insert them. I can't imagine dealing with them for something like 16 hours straight, more than half of which I'll be at work!!! :(

When I complained that I can't pee with them inside me, S. said that I can remove them for that, BUT the awful catch is that for every one minute they are out of me, he plans to multiply that minute by ten and make me have the largest butt plug inside me the next day for that period of time. :( :( :( So, in other words, if I have the Ben-Wa balls out for just 5 minutes to urinate, that means 50 minutes of torture the next day with the huge plug. :( :( :( Then he added that I have to also wear the anal beads to work all day on Thursday as well. :( :( :( And then, when I get home, instead of getting any relief, I'll have to exchange plugs for the total minutes I took the Ben-Wa balls out...multiplied by 10. :(

When I expressed my great dismay at being punished so severely for being distracted by my conjunctivitis and forgetting to do what he told me, S.'s response was: "You remember that I don't joke around with punishments. I'm not going to be soft on you any time soon." and "You poor thing. Maybe you will remember not to forget your scenario from now on, then." :(

All I know is that I must have really pissed him off, because this is a heck of a punishment for forgetting to do something! :(

January Flies By

Just a quick note tonight to let you all know I haven't forgotten about you or my blog :)

Things have just been very busy lately, and with S. back in his hometown, not so much to blog about.

It took over two weeks for the deepest bruises and marks on my body to fade away completely after S. left. The ones on my breasts lingered the longest. It was such a strange thing to see every time I bathed. An instant reminder of S. and everything that happened, and that it was REAL.

I've spent so many years dreaming of BDSM scenarios that sometimes it's hard to believe that the things that S. did with me actually happened and aren't just a part of some wild dream I had, you know? So the bruises and aches and pains were a great reminder that I didn't imagine him or dream up all of the events I wrote about. And that I am clearly the luckiest girl in the world! :)

Other than healing, the last few weeks have been pretty uneventful. I guess S. decided I needed time to recouperate after the time we spent together lol. So he let me be.

Until today, that is.

I had my phone set so I didn't hear him text me this morning. But he called me after a couple of hours, early this afternoon and demanded whether I'd seen his texts. I was like: Huh? What texts? I picked up my phone and checked and was like Ohhhhhhhh noooooooo... I totally was taken by surprise. His texts were a series of instructions for me to finger myself for 5 minutes out of every 30 minutes until he came home, and two 30 minute sessions with the butt plug. I hadn't been expecting anything like that at all, so I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me, reading his instructions.

Since I missed reading his texts when he sent them, he added a 30 minute session with a plug AND the Ben-Wa balls. Groan. AND forbade me to lie in bed with them: I could only sit in my hard wooden chair, or else walk around. Which means I had the choice between not putting pressure on the butt plug, but dealing with intense vibrations from the balls, or else keeping the balls still but having to cope with the intense pressure on the plug... damned if you do, damned if you don't... Argh! I wound up doing a bit of both...

So, needless to say it's been a bit of a crazy afternoon for me. I'm now VERY horny from all the fingering. But my ass is frankly killing me. Apparently four weeks of nothing being inserted back there makes for a very rough time getting back into the training process. When I finally removed the largest plug after the last 30 minute ordeal, I had to just lie on my bed for a long while, on my tummy, trying not to cry. It HURRRRRRRRRRRRTS! Argh.

On the other hand I guess I've been getting too feisty of late, and there's nothing like a crazy sore ass to remind me of my place... groan...I have a feeling I'm going to be a lot more submissive when I talk to S. later tonight.

Calling Him "Master"

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I have a hard time with titles like "Sir" and especially "Master". I wrote about it in several posts including this one: Titles...ewww! But S. greatly enjoys calling me "slave" and his mission in life is to have me call him "Master" all the time.

To date, I have only ever uttered the dreaded M... word once. And it was this summer when he kept whipping me until I finally broke (I need to write a post on that but haven't gotten to it yet). By the time he was done, my ass was on fire and I simply couldn't hold out any more so I wound up whispering the word in submission. But I haven't come remotely close to saying it since despite S. trying to get me to say it from time to time.

However, I knew that my stubbornness in this matter wasn't going to last on this trip as S. had promised me I WOULD call him "Master" again before the end of the trip. So here we were on the last night, and I knew what was coming although I couldn't anticipate the exact format it would take. All I knew is that I was determined not to say that word and that S. was equally determined to get me to say it. And unfortunately for me, since S. is the Dom, I knew I was probably going to be put through a lot of pain before the night was out, until I finally broke and said it again.

And so it began...

S. placed me on my knees on the bed, with my legs spread and then attached wrist and ankle cuffs. He connected each wrist to the corresponding ankle so that my ass was high in the air and I couldn't move to protect myself in any way. I squirmed a bit, but quickly stopped, because in that position, all squirming accomplishes is making my legs slide farther apart, making me even more vulnerable to whatever S. might choose to do.

To my surprise, S. attached the bit gag to me. But he explained as he did: "I am going to keep this gag on you until you are ready to call me Master." I groaned through the gag and buried my face on the mattress. S. grabbed my hair and yanked my hair so my head was forced up and back and told me that he would keep going until I called him Master tonight.

S. then slid off the bed and I could hear him rummaging in the toy box. He pulled something out, and I soon heard a vibrator and felt him push the head of it against my pussy. I jumped and groaned in pleasure as he pushed it deeply into my pussy until it was lodged there, and left it there on high. I heard him returning to the toy box once more. I was pretty sure that he was getting the flicker whip: The one that hurts like crazy and leaves welts everywhere and sure enough, I soon heard a whistling sound through the air and the first crack hit my right cheek. I jumped and groaned in pain, curling my fingers and toes to try to steel myself for the next impact.

S. continued to work on my ass with the whip, alternating cheeks and making me gasp and moan in pain. Occasionally, he would stop and come over to my head and pull my hair until he could see my face and demand whether I was ready to submit yet. Each time, I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head in denial. And he would resume the whipping. It was a crazy sensation with the vibrator in my pussy because each time the lash hit my sensitive skin, I would convulse and involuntarily clench all my muscles, including my internal ones, causing a wave of pleasure inside my pussy at the same time as the sharp pain from the crack of the whip. The simultaneous pleasure and pain was making me crazy!

About halfway through this, S. stopped and rummaged in the toy box again. I wondered what was in store for me now, and I soon heard the dreaded sound of lube being squeezed out and I knew what was coming next. Sure enough, I felt his fingers invading my anus and I moaned and tried to squirm away, only succeeding in spreading my legs even farther apart. Before I could recover, S. pushed the largest plug all the way in, making me moan loudly. Then he resumed the whipping, pausing from time to time to press against the plug and shove it in even more deeply. Because I still had the vibrator inside me, both the plug and the vibrator rubbed against one another, causing the vibrations to invade my anus as well and I writhed from the sensations of pain, pleasure and fullness that I was helpless to stop.

My ass was on fire by the time S. was finished, but I still refused to utter the dreaded M.. word. I honestly cannot explain this very well, other than to say that there is something in me that just balks at the idea of calling anyone that. And, even if I'm in significant pain, it's extremely difficult for me to even contemplate uttering that word. I guess S. decided that it was time to change tactics because he removed the vibrator, leaving the plug inside me, disconnected my wrists from my ankles, and ordered me off the bed. I complied shakily and followed him to the foot of the bed.

"Kneel!" he commanded me, and I dropped to my knees once more, my body shaking from the abuse it had already taken. S. then proceeded to attach my ankle restraints to the spreader bar so my knees were spread far apart and then attached my wrist cuffs to the bedframe on either side so my arms were spread wide, turning me into a giant X, and unable to move in any direction.

At this point, my knees were really starting to hurt, my ass was killing me, The anal plug had been in for quite a while by now, and my anus was really starting to ache, and I was shaking quite a bit. My head was spinning too, so when S. approached me with the blindfold, I shook my head back and forth, trying to escape it. But of course, I couldn't, and I was soon engulfed in darkness, unable to anticipate what would come next. I chewed fretfully on the bit gag and tried to regain some composure, but I could feel myself slipping further into subspace.

S. made me wait for a few seconds, and then I heard the sound of the whip whistling through the air. I tried desperately to bring my arms together to protect myself and to huddle forward but the restraints prevented me from doing so and I took the full impact of the lash directly across my breasts. I cried out in pain and my body shook. Before I could even breathe again, S. hit me again, catching me directly on the left breast and making me gasp in agony. He kept this up for a while until my entire body was shaking from head to toe and then he paused to ask whether I was ready to submit and call him "Master" yet. The pain all over my body was intense, but something within me just refused to break and I shook my head in defiance, while dreading the continued punishment that would follow.

S. reached behind my head and removed my gag, causing drool to drip down my chest and told me that he would just continue with the whipping and I could submit and call him Master any time I was ready. He then returned to the toy box and I heard the sound I had been fearing the most: The metal clink of the nipple clamps. I hate the clamps! They are excruciatingly painful!!!! The bite of them against my sensitive nipples is nearly unbearable under normal circumstances and the thought of having to endure them now that my breasts were inflamed and swollen from the whipping was nearly too much to bear.

S. came over to me and I felt his hand tease my left nipple, making it harden, and then he attached the metal clamp directly onto it. I couldn't help the loud "OWWWWWWWWWWW!" that escaped my lips as the pain made me break out in goosebumps and convulse against the restraints. Seconds later, I felt him repeating the process with my right nipple and I another "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" issued from me as that clamp bit deeply into my delicate flesh. At this point, I think I was crying. It just hurt so freaking much!!!

Then I heard S. Leave the room for a few moments and I straine my ears, trying to make out what he was doing. To my dismay, I was able to identify the sound of the freezer door and ice cubes clinking. By the time he returned to the bedroom, I was moaning and shaking my head back and forth. He laughed when he saw me and I soon heard him close in front of me. I tried desperately to close my legs to protect my pussy but the spreader bar kept me stretched wide open and S. wasted no time in pressing the ice cube directly into my clit, making me gasp and moan. I tried to sway my hips away from him but the bedframe prevented it, and he pushed the ice deeper until my lips closed around it and it was stuck in place.

At this point, I was very close to my breaking point and I knew it: my ass was on fire, my knees ached, my shoulders and wrists were strained from my yanking desperately on my restraints, my nipples were sending unbelievable waves of pain through my body and the ice was causing an intense freezing, burning sensation in my clit that was almost too much to bear.

S. then picked up the whip and started once more to lash my tortured breasts. I was crying out with each impact as both the area of the lash hurt like crazy and my nipples that were being jerked around with the clamps and chain connecting them swinging around from my convulsions were too much to bear. It was at that point that I broke, and the next time S. paused and asked me if I was ready to submit yet, I hung my head and nodded.

It took several deep breaths before I could force myself to say the hated word: "M...M...Master," I finally managed in a croak.

"Louder!" he commanded.

"M...Master!" I repeated obediently in a louder tone, submitting completely to his will, unable to hold out any more.

This finally satisfied S. and he removed the nipple clamps, causing a fresh wave of pain as the blood rushed back into my abused flesh and I collapsed onto my hands and knees as soon as he disconnected the restraints from the footboard. S. moved around me removing all four cuffs, the blindfold, and finally taking out the anal plug. He then helped me to my feet and guided me to the bed.

I was deeply in subspace at this point and curled up in the bed with his arms around me in a somewhat catatonic state. S. held me gently and patted my cheek and hair, telling me how much he loved me. It took a while for me to be able to even open my eyes, or respond to him in any way. He kept telling me he loved me, but all I could manage back was to nod my head against his chest.

Finally, after a long time had passed, and my shaking had stopped, I felt a bit better and was just floating in S.'s arms. This is my favorite part: I feel so loved and cherished and cared for in those moments. S. is always so kind and gentle and I would do just about anything in the world for him right then. So, when I heard him say once more: "I love you!" I curled the corner of my lips into a small smile and clung tighter to his chest and whispered back:

"I love you too, Master!"

Leashed

This will be an update about the last day S. and I spent together before he had to return home. And then after I write one more post about the final night, my blog will finally be up to date! :)

On our before last night together, S. decided to put the collar and leash on me right before we got in bed. He grinned, as he attached it, and told me that he hoped that I didn't have to pee or anything because, from now on, if I had to leave the bed for any reason, I would need to wake him up and ask permission and he would then lead me on all fours to and from the bathroom or wherever else I needed to go.

Of course, being told this immediately made me thirsty, have to pee, want to go check on a million things, etc. Just knowing that I couldn't leave the bed without his permission and that if I were to receive permission, it would mean crawling on all fours like a dog, while he smirked at me and yanked on my leash, was maddening!!! I groaned and turned over in bed, trying to settle down for the night. But I soon realized that I was really thirsty. I tried to put it out of my mind, but the longer I lay there, the thirstier I got. I debated back and forth with myself: Could I just put my thirst aside for the entire night and wake up parched? Or was it worth it to beg permission for a drink and crawl on hands and knees in humiliation to the kitchen to alleviate my thirst?

I went back and forth in my mind, but finally my thirst won and I meekly asked S. if I could get some water. He grinned and bounced of the the bed, holding the leash. I followed him, and stood uncertainly by the bed for a few seconds until he pointed at the floor and said "Down!" Grimacing, I knelt before him and then began to crawl on all fours behind him while he led the way to the kitchen, occasionally giving my leash a little yank. It was completely humiliating!

When we got to the kitchen, he took a glass and filled it with some water. I wasn't sure what to expect next, but he plopped it right on the floor in front of me. I looked down at it, wondering if he expected me to drink from it on the floor, or what. I looked back up at him, as he grinned down at me: "Well, you'd better figure out a way to carry it back to the bedroom with you now, hadn't you?" he taunted me. "Maybe in your teeth?" he grinned wider.

I looked back at the plastic tumbler and decided there was NO way I was going to carry the thing in my mouth. It would spill everywhere! But there was also no way for me to crawl while holding it in one hand. Fortunately, I had a brainwave!!! I took the tumbler in one hand and stretched my arm out, placing it several feet in front of me and then crawled forward on all fours to where the cup was. I then repeated this, placing the cup several feet in front of me each time, and then crawling to it. S. laughed, seeing that I had found a clever way to get the drink back to the bedroom while still following his rules, and so we made our way slowly back to the bedroom with me moving the cup each time and then crawling to it.

Once I got back in bed, finally, I drank deeply and felt much better, albeit still humiliated. It was such a strange feeling, having a leash attached to my collar and knowing the other end was around S.'s wrist. And knowing that my freedom of movement was completely controlled by S. for the remainder of the night caused my heart to thump loudly. I felt simultaneously restricted and protected. I glanced at the half drained cup of water beside me: I wanted to gulp all of the water, but I was worried about having to pee in the middle of the night, so I let the remaining water sit on the bedside table.

It took a little while to get to sleep, but I eventually did fall deeply asleep in S.'s arms. I woke up from time to time during the night when the metal D ring on the collar and the metal clip on the leash clanked softly together as I moved in the bed. I would wake up and remember the situation I was in, and then settle back down and fall asleep again.

Around 3am, I woke up and realized that I needed to go to the bathroom, but unfortunately not just to pee: I needed to do number two. :( I was horrified by this development. The thought of having someone in the room with me when I peed was mortifying. But the thought of having anyone anywhere near me when I went number two was simply intolerable. I spent the next hour and twenty minutes or so, tossing and turning, trying desperately to get back to sleep, but unable to, due to an increasing need to go to the bathroom.

Finally, around 4:20am, I tapped S. on the shoulder and said in a small meek voice: "I have to go to the bathroom and go number two. Is there any way, please, please, please, please, PLEASE, you would consider just letting me go? PLEASE!!!!!" S. was silent for a moment, considering, and then he said: "All right, you can go on your own, but just for this ONE thing!" He held up his index finger, emphasizing ONE.

I gasped in relief and said "Yes, yes, just this one! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank, you!!!!" I have never felt so grateful in my life! I jumped out of the bed, before he could reconsider or change his mind, and rushed to the bathroom. My god, what a relief!!! After I was done, I returned to bed and kissed and thanked S. about thirty more times, in deep gratitude. After that, the remainder of the night was so much better. I slept peacefully in his arms, and when I did wake up from time to time, I enjoyed the thought that the leash connected me to him.

When we finally both woke up late that next morning, we snuggled and talked for a little while. Then, after a little bit, S. said: "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" But before I could respond, he said: "Well I guess it doesn't matter if you have to or not, because I have to pee, and that means you're coming with me!" He hopped out of bed, and pulled on the leash, forcing me to follow. Once more, the instant I was out of bed, he pointed to the ground and commanded me to get on all fours. I complied and crawled behind him, feeling like some kind of animal.

S. led me to the bathroom and then pointed to a spot beside the toilet and told me to kneel there. I crawled to the spot and obeyed, kneeling beside him, and he then proceeded to pee, without the slightest sign of embarrassment. I, on the other hand, was mortified: Kneeling there, leashed, and forced to watch him urinate. I blushed bright red: It was so embarrassing!!!

When he was done, S. told me that it was now my turn. I groaned and covered my face with my hands. I couldn't bear the thought of him watching me. I gave him my most pleading look, gazing up at him, from my kneeling position. He seemed to understand, because he draped the leash around my neck and told me he'd be right outside the door when I was done. I gratefully thanked him and then completed my business, and washed my hands. It struck me as humorous while I was carefully drying them, that I had just washed my hands when I was about to get them filthy by crawling all over the floor on my hands and knees again.

I opened the bathroom door, and S. pointed to the floor once more. I sighed but didn't complain because I was still very grateful for him letting me use the bathroom alone. So I got to my hands and knees and followed obediently behind him as he led the way to the living room. He went over to the couch and sat down. I stopped when he did, with several feet of leash between us. S. crooked his index finger and beckoned me closer so I complied until my face was even with his knees. He patted me on the head, like he would a pet and commented on how nice this was. I groaned a little and hid my face in his lap.

Then S. pulled his PJs and boxers down and told me that I needed to make myself useful as long as I was there, and ordered me to suck on him until he became hard. So I did. It was frankly a relief to have something to focus on and do instead of just sitting there on all fours like some sort of animal, feeling humiliated. So I threw myself into the task and worked at making him become as hard as possible.

After a little while, S stood up and led me to the bedroom, with me crawling behind him on all fours. Once there, he had me remove my top and then told me to use my hands to finish him off. I sat up on my knees and used my hands and mouth together until he was about to cum, and then he took over and sprayed cum all over my torso, covering my breasts and dripping down onto my belly below.

When he had spent his load and dripped every last drop of cum onto me, S. picked up the leash again and led me back to the bathroom. He bent down and removed the collar and then told me to get in the shower with him and wash him. I stood up and gladly followed him in. This part was lots of fun! I really enjoyed washing him from head to toe: I started with the body wash and put a generous amount on a washcloth and then gently washed every inch of him, kneeling to get his lower half. I then shampooed his hair, and rinsed him off completely.

When I was done, S. indicated that it was now my turn to wash myself and I did so. He made things somewhat more difficult, by continuously playing with my breasts while I tried to wash and condition my hair, which made it extremely difficult to focus, But eventually, we were both clean and he stepped out of the shower, with me close behind. S. tossed me a towel and told me to dry him and I obeyed, carefully drying him all over and rubbing his hair until it was towel dry as well. S. then commanded me to use the already wet towel to dry myself. He told me that slaves have to make do with their Masters' towels after they have already been used. I complied and dried myself as well as I could with the damp towel.

Once we were both dry, S. didn't replace the collar, but told me to follow him to the living room and we both snuggled on the couch for a while. It was really nice. :) Around lunch time, S. told me that I should go prepare us lunch, but that he was going to put the ball gag on me while I was doing it. This served a dual purpose: To ensure my silence while I worked on our lunches, and because he knows that the ball gag makes my jaw very sore and he enjoyed the thought of me trying to eat lunch immediately after removing the gag, with an aching jaw.

So I went to work in the kitchen, with the ball gag deep in my mouth, forcing my jaw as wide as it could go. It was a weird feeling to be doing such a mundane task with a gag inserted. I found it very distracting! I wondered what exactly to make but since I had no way to ask S. what he wanted, I decided to make a number of different small dishes and that way he could just pick what he wanted. It took quite a while to get everything ready and set the table, and then I went in to where he was on the computer and touched him on the shoulder. I pointed to indicate the food was ready.

"I'll be there in just a minute," S. replied, grinning at my red face. So I sat on the edge of the bed, next to the computer desk and waited. S. chatted continuously at me as if nothing were going on, and eventually turned around and smirked: "Why are you being so quiet?" he taunted: "Oh right, you can't speak, can you?" I hung my head and blushed more. He kept this up for a little while, and then finally stood up and reached behind my head and unbuckled the gag. "Oooo you drooled a lot!" he teased me when he saw how wet the gag and my chin were. I hung my head more, and tried to wipe away the drool.

I then followed S. to the table and we sat down to eat. My jaw was aching because the ball gag causes me to stretch my mouth to it's absolute limit and I had been wearing it for quite a while. I looked at all the nice food in front of me and wondered which would require me opening my mouth the least. I settled on the soup to start with and put tiny spoonfuls into my mouth between my barely parted lips, rubbing my jaw from time to time to ease my sore muscles. S. found this quite amusing. Eventually, as the meal progressed and the soreness abated, I was able to eat more normally, but I knew from past experience that my jaw would ache for several days to come whenever I opened my mouth wide.

Spread Wide

This is another update regarding what happened over the past few days while S. was here. Sorry about putting up so many posts all at once, I'm just now catching up! When you read about the last few days, I'm sure you'll understand why: S. kept me VERY busy, lol.

In the last post, I told you all about dinner with the Japanese rope harness, and how I wound up sore and rubbed raw. You might think that was sufficient for one day! But, apparently, S. had other plans for me...

He had been wanting to try a new position for a while now, and so after I had soaked in the tub for a long while and eased some of the pain from the rope harness, he decided it was time to try it out!

S. started by having me kneel at the foot of my bed. Before I continue, I should explain that I have a very nice bedframe: It's an oak wood frame, with scrolled wrought iron throughout the entire center of the head and foot boards. The wrought iron makes a perfect place to attach restraints in any number of different ways (which, I will freely admit, is precisely why I purchased it! Hehe).

Anyhow, S. then put the leather wrist and ankle cuffs on me and attached the spreader bar to my ankles so I was forced to kneel with my legs spread wide. He then brought my arms up and over the back of the footboard so my shoulders were pulled upward and my arms spread completely to either side and attached the wrist restraints to the footboard from the back. That caused me to arch my back and be unable to move at all in any direction.

I was already feeling pretty vulnerable from wearing the rope harness all night and now being spread wide in this position, and that's when he added the blindfold. Not being able to see, just heightens every sensation and makes everything so much more intense because I can't anticipate anything that is going to happen to me!

Then the fun began and I felt S.'s tongue and mouth on my nipples, exploring and teasing them until I was panting. He always teases me that all he has to do is "press" my nipples, and it dispenses moisture from my pussy. So he enjoyed inserting a finger between my legs to test how wet I was and calling me his "dirty, wet mess."

Then I heard him go to the toybox and return, and the next thing I felt was a vibrator on full power on my clit. I jumped as I hadn't been prepared for the sensation, and it caused a simultaneous wave of pleasure and pain (due to my clit having been rubbed raw by the bondage rope during dinner). S. then inserted the vibrator as deeply into my pussy as he could, making me groan in pain and ecstasy and continued to toy with my nipples while I writhed against the restraints.

After a while, he moved away from me, and I heard him leave the bedroom, but I couldn't tell what he was doing. When he returned, I heard him bend down in front of me and then a shock traveled through my body as he brought an ice cube directly against one of my nipples. I moaned and tried to squirm away, but couldn't. He repeated this with the other nipple until both were completely erect.

Then he did something I had not anticipated: He reached down and held the ice cube directly against my clit! I thought I would jump out of my skin when he did this!!! I have never felt anything so cold in my life!!! I pulled helplessly against the wrist restraints and tried desperately to close my legs, but the spreader bar held them wide apart. I swayed my hips from side to side, in an attempt to escape the freezing ice, but to no avail. Then something happened that absolutely delighted S. and horrified me: He pushed the ice deeper into my clit until the lips closed around it and when he took his fingers away, the cube STAYED there on it's own! He was thrilled! But I thought I was going to go out of my mind! The freezing sensation was so intense by this point that it felt like burning and I yanked repeatedly on my cuffs to try to get away.

S. was so thrilled by this development, he decided that it would be a grand idea to try the whip out on my breasts for the very first time while I was distracted by the burning in my pussy. Since I was still blindfolded, and completely preoccupied by my clit area, I didn't even hear him go to the toybox again, and the first lash that landed directly on my left breast, made me jump and convulse in pain so hard, I'm amazed I didn't break the footboard! I'd never experienced any type of breast torture before other than the recent very brief application of the nipple clamps and the stinging in such a sensitive area was insane.

S. quickly followed the first lash up with a series of others, creating welts on each breast and on the skin between them. I writhed and moaned constantly throughout, my awareness leaping between the freezing, burning sensation in my clit, and the fiery streaks of pain on my breasts. My legs were trembling as they struggled to keep me upright, and my shoulders screamed at me as each new lash of the whip caused me to throw myself forward and backwards against the restraints, straining all of my muscles.

Once S. was satisfied with the pattern he created across my torso, he bent down to check the ice, and pushed the remainder even deeper into my pussy. At this point, I was shaking and moaning uncontrollably. He kept his hand like that for a few moments, and then finally took pity on me and removed it. He then moved around me, removing first my wrist and then my ankle cuffs. As soon as the wrist restraints were off, I collapsed forward, with my head on the floor, and my body curled as close together as I could manage while still attached to the spreader bar. S. finally removed the ankle cuffs, and took off the blindfold. But I was too disoriented to keep my eyes open. I just stayed on the floor, in a fetal position, panting and trembling.

And then I felt a tap on my shoulder: "Up!" he commanded. I struggled to obey, and with S.'s help, I made it to my feet. I couldn't do anything but press my head into his chest and cling to him at this point. He gently guided me to the bed and helped me into it. He covered me and curled up beside me, holding me gently and reassuring me that he was there and that he loved me. As always, when I am deep in subspace, time is meaningless and I floated there for a while until I slowly began to regain control of my senses. S. always takes exquisite care of me after he is done playing, and he remained by my side, caressing and talking to me softly until I was finally able to respond and move around normally again.

After that, I went to clean up in the bathroom. It was very strange to see the welt marks on my breasts as I've only ever had welts on my ass before and have had to look into a mirror to see them. Being able to just look down and see and these welts was strange and delightful. It made me smile to know that S. had definitively claimed another area of my body as his.

Comments & Questions!

I just wanted to say a BIG thank you to those of you who have taken the time to leave comments on my blog. It means so very much to me to read your comments and know that there are people out there who care and are interested in what I write!!!

So PLEASE, if you enjoy any of my posts, leave me a comment!!! :) You can do so anonymously so you don't have to worry about remaining private. I'd love it if you would take the time to let me know what you enjoyed reading about, whether you've ever experienced anything like it, how my blog inspires you, if you have any questions, etc.

I will respond to all comments and answer all questions!

<3 Jade

Dining in a Rope Harness

Okay so I owe my readers an update regarding what took place over the past few days, so here we go:

As you know, S. decided that it would be great fun (for him that is), to place me in a bondage rope harness and then have me go out to dinner with friends that way. I was dreading it because he has put me in it a couple of nights previously, and it quickly became very difficult to bear. And the thought of not only having to wear the harness for several hours, but having to act perfectly normal in public while doing so, was daunting.

The harness consists of a loop around the back of the neck and then three knots about a handspan apart going down the front of my torso: One directly on the collarbone, one right above where the breasts start, and one right below the breasts. Then the rope is brought between my legs and pulled tight so it rubs directly against my clit and is as deep as possible in my butt crack. The rope is pulled up my spine and pulled through the part around my neck, making it a single tight loop so no matter which way I bend, it pulls on my pussy and anus. Then the rope is wrapped back and forth around my torso and the areas between the knots so it forms a harness above and around my breasts and belly area, making it all even tighter. The ultimate result is that the chest is constricted somewhat and no matter what position you are in, constant pressure is exerted on the pussy and anal areas, and any movement causes chafing in the most sensitive and vulnerable places.

I can't say that I was very gracious about it when S. put the harness on me. I immediately began to freak out, because I was so afraid that my vanilla friends would catch sight of the bright purple bondage rope running around my neck. I fretted about what to wear and changed my mind several times before settling on a Hoodie because I could pull the ties close together and pull the hood close around my neck, shielding my neck from sight. For good measure, and from sheer paranoia, I added a scarf as well. I was so afraid that the knots were visible beneath the fabric though, or that my friends would question why I was wearing a hoodie plus a scarf indoors. So I was pretty whiny while getting dressed and I distinctly remember telling S. several times that I didn't like him at all any more while he drove us to the restaurant. He kept reassuring me that nobody would know anything was up...that is as long as I didn't have that tortured look on my face the entire time. lol.

The ride to the restaurant sucked: I had barely had time to adjust to the harness at all, I was terrified by the prospect of wearing the bondage rope in public even though it wasn't visible, and my clit was already burning. S. drove and I was supposed to be giving him directions but I was so preoccupied by what was happening with the rope, I could barely focus on anything. I have driven the route a thousand times, but when S asked me which way to go, it was as if I'd never been on that road before. He'd say: "Do I turn left at the next light?" And I'd look confused and say "No." Then when we got to the next light, I'd say "Oh, turn left! Turn left!" And poor S. would have to turn at the last minute. He kept teasing me, saying: "Jeez, sweetie, I don't know why you're so unfocused tonight!" And I'd growl at him in frustration.

Anyway, I managed to act more or less normal once we got to the restaurant and greeted our friends. Fortunately, they were already seated so I didn't have to hug them hello. One of my biggest fears had been them feeling the rope harness when we hugged. But I made it unscathed into my seat, and put on my best act throughout the meal. It was so weird to sit there in a public place, knowing that I was wearing bondage rope under my clothes, and feeling them every time I moved in any direction. I was so afraid the waiter or other people around me would guess what was going on and I worried constantly about blushing. I kept seeing S. smirk out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn't really look at him because turning my head and torso that far was torture. As a result, I was forced to stare ahead most of the meal, and couldn't read his face at all.

The harness already was tight and uncomfortable at the start of the meal. But, by the end, my constant laughing at funny things my friends said and all the movement from riding in the car, walking to the restaurant, etc had caused a tremendous amount of chafing and the entire area down there felt like it was on fire. I was trying very hard not to show the discomfort on my face.

Then, S. decided to spice things up by casually putting his arm around me and pulling on the harness at various points on my neck and back. A pretty hilarious battle ensued where he tried to tug, and I tried to push my entire body as hard as I could against the back of the booth, trapping his arm so he couldn't tug, while both acting completely normal. We smiled and nodded and made polite talk while he tried to surreptitiously yank on the ropes and I tried to discretely crush his arm. I have no idea if my friends noticed anything, but at least they had the grace not to say anything about it.

At the end of the meal, I put on my coat and quickly air kissed my friends, forgoing the usual hugs. Just before we left the table, one friend commented that I had dropped my napkin, and I reflexively bent over without thinking, to pick it up. I immediately realized my mistake as the ropes bit so deep into my clit and anal area, I wasn't able to suppress gasping "Oh Jesus". Fortunately, in the hustle and bustle of leaving the table, the only one that heard me was S., so I straightened up and tried to compose my face from the look of pain I knew was on it, and hurried out of there. By the time we got to the car, I was just desperate to remove the harness. The drive home was worse than the drive to the restaurant as I felt ever single bump in the road, dip and turn chafing my already raw skin. I had to endure it for a few more minutes until we got home and then I practically ran to the bathroom to take it off. It was a complete blessed relief to remove it at long last!!! The area of rope that had been between my legs was soaked through and all of my private areas had been rubbed raw and stung like crazy.

When I took a bath, the water hitting that area brought tears to my eyes and I soaked for a long time to try to ease the pain. After my bath, I asked S. how he had enjoyed the evening, and the wide grin on his face told me that he had enjoyed a lot more than just the steak...

Inventory of Pain

S. just left: I dropped him off at the airport at noon for his flight home.

I cried when we said goodbye.

Of course, I cried, as I held him close and inhaled his wonderful scent for the last time until Spring. He is the love of my life, and my heart and body ache for him already, although we have barely been separated for over an hour. My house and arms feel empty without him here. He is the most wonderful man in the world. He has made my dreams come true. He is perfect for me. I am eternally grateful for him, now and every single day.

So now I sit here, in my bed, with my laptop propped on my knees, missing his warm presence beside me, and inventorying my many abrasions, contusions, and sore areas. S. sure put me through a gauntlet these past few day! I can't remember ever being so sore all over!

Let's see:

- My jaw aches from having gags pushed into my mouth, especially the ball gag I had to wear while preparing a meal for him yesterday. Whenever I open my mouth wide to yawn, eat, drink, or brush my teeth, it aches, and I have to quickly shut it again.

- My knees are tender and bruised all over from days of kneeling and crawling on all fours all over my apartment, which mainly consists of hardwood floors.

- My palms are bruised and have a few small scratches from crawling on all fours while leashed and being led by S.

-My wrists are bruised and scratched from me yanking on the restraints so fiercely last night when he attached the nipple clamps.

- My neck and shoulders ache from having my arms stretched wide and attached behind and above me to the footboard while I knelt on the floor.

- My ass screams at me every time I sit down, as it is covered in multiple days worth of welts, all criss-crossing one another.

- My anal area still feels sore and stretched from having the giant butt plug in me last night.

- The area between my pussy and anus still aches and it burns like crazy every time I pee, from being rubbed raw by the bondage rope harness chafing against it.

- My breasts sting with the slightest movement and also bear numerous welts from the whip.

- My nipples are incredibly tender and bruised from the cruel bite of the nipple clamps.

...Oh, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life!!!

:)

After Dinner

I have one word to sum up dinner tonight with the bondage rope harness tightly between my legs:

CHAFING!!!!!

Owwwwwwwwwieee!!!

Dinner Tonight

I am home from work now and S. has told me that he will be placing me in the bondage rope harness he put me in the other night for our outing with friends tonight. We are all supposed to go out to eat at a restaurant together. When he told me, my face was like :O !!!  I kept waiting for him to say "Psych! Just kidding!" But, unfortunately for me, he isn't kidding. OMG. After having experienced that harness the other night, I know exactly how tight that thing is and how it bites mercilessly into my clit and butt crack. Sitting down is going to be torture!!! And my friends are vanilla and know nothing at all about anything like this, so I'll have to try to act completely normal. This is going to suck for me!!! S. keeps teasing me and saying I'll have to work hard not to whimper no matter how the rope tortures me throughout the meal.... >_>

So I guess I'll be blogging later tonight or tomorrow about how it all goes tonight. Wish me luck! My stomach is doing flip flops! I'm afraid my face will be flaming red the entire time and they'll ask me why I keep squirming. Arrrrgh, this night is going to be CRAZY.

The Master

The following post is written by S., my darling Dom while I was at work today: It will give you a perspective into his devilish mind. Enjoy!

Jade



         Today, I will be submitting my ideas and thoughts regarding the event that I orchestrated for my dirty slave. It has been known that my slave has been blogging about our daily events on a regular basis. Well, she is at work right now, so I believe it is time for me to write on her blog for once. I mean the Doms and Subs have a right to see my point of view too, Right?  A countless number of Jade's experiences have been posted after each scenario that I developed. And today I will give the reader a sneak peak into my mind.

         My slave is driving to work right now. I was nice enough to send her to work today with wet panties. I have also left quite a few welts on her ass to claim my territory over the past few days. So as she drives right now, she has to contend with a sore ass from the whip and a wet pussy that is dripping onto her panties. I hope she truly enjoys helping out her clients and coworkers, as her damp panties begin to press deeply into her wet pussy. Her ass emitting a dull pain that sparks the fear of her master waiting at home with different scenarios juggling inside my head for my dirty slave.

          This isn't my blog so I won't dabble into my past and reveal everything about my perspective of each event with my slave, but I figured I would go over my hot and cold scenario with the double bullet toy that I put my slave through yesterday. My mind is quite strange if I might be frank, when it comes to putting together each scenario. I don't go onto websites nor do I talk to other Doms and Subs in relationships to gain creative ways to tease and discipline my slave. Instead, I can just be walking along, and suddenly an event will pop in my head randomly. I don't put very much advance thought into my scenarios. I just let them flow into my head whenever they want. I believe that is the style that works best for my mind, and it suits me and Jade.

         I've always been fascinated with placing my slave in each scenario that is conjured into my head, such as, hot and cold scene I put her through yesterday. Obviously, this isn't anything unique in retrospect, a mere children's game that can serve (I.E. "Marco Polo"). My job is to find a way to transform these games into something especially for my slave. So that's how I came up with Hot and Cold game idea. The double bullets with the remote was perfect to do the job!

         I baited each room with a few toys for my slave as she bathed in peace, unaware of my actions. A rush of ecstasy burst into my body as I planted each toy, imagining her blindfolded and on her hands and knees, attempting to locate each one. But I had to be mindful at the same time: some of the toys are hard to find due to their shape and size so I placed beacons on a few toys such as using my shirt with the vibrator, or else used verbal commands to give her a hint of what to look for in each room. My scenarios require my slave to submt her body to me as each toy tests her endurance with either pain with pleasure. If it is a plug. I set up a condition for insertion until she finds the next toy. If it is a dildo or wand, I set up a condition for a time limit. This is depending if the vibrators have buttons to control each level of stimulation. So I simply just divide the time into intervals for each level of stimulation.

         Watching Jade at the end of the scenario is the greatest ecstasy, whether I'm fucking her deeply in the ass, pussy or mouth. I love making her dirty as my cum fills her up or drips off her breasts and runs down her pussy. Some of the gags we use cause her to drool copiously until a puddle is formed below her on the ground. I love making her my dirty slave and my scenarios are designed to make her be dirty every night.

         Now for a sneak preview that Jade doesn't know about yet: Tonight will be fun: Jade and I are heading to a restaurant with some friends to eat and socialize, but my slave won't be in her normal condition. I have decided to place the bondage rope on her under her clothes, in the same harness I put on her the other night. She will have to bear the feeling of it tightening around her and biting into her tender areas as she moves and adjusts to sitting tonight. Her friends will have no clue what is going on and what will they think as they hug each other tonight for old time sakes and feel the harness I have placed on her under her clothes? She will surely be mortified! This will be an interesting evening out for both of us!

I've also planned to plant my slave on her knees, with the spreader bar forcing her legs apart, on the floor at the end of the bed as her hands are tied to the bed posts. Her body will form an X pattern as I bite, lick and suck against her nipples to make them sensitive and then use the whip against her breasts for the first time. I'll make sure her mouth is full of my cock as I become hard and prepare to pound against her pussy tonight as she remains helplessly tied against the end of the foot-board. This will be a lovely night for my slave!

The Game

I'm still reeling from this evening. I've never experienced anything like it. So I'll do my best to describe it all. Not sure if I can begin to do it justice though. I'll try...

Today, I had to go to work all day. It sucked to leave S. at my house in the morning. I told him he should help himself to anything and rest. Of course, as always, he had his own ideas, and while I was working, I got a series of text messages from him informing me that he was taking care of my pet, sweeping the steps and path clear from snow, salting the path, doing my dishes, hunting for my mop, etc.      

After work, I went straight home, and it was wonderful to come home to S.! :) What a treat to walk in the door and into his arms!!! We talked and snuggled for a while on the couch, talking about our days, and then I went to take a bath. S. told me that he had an "Event" prepared for me after my bath and that I shouldn't bother putting my clothes back on once I was finished. Needless to say, I spent most of my bath, wondering and worrying about what in the world S. had planned for me. My imagination was running pretty wild!!!

When I finished, I dried myself off, and then opened the door and stood there, clutching my towel against myself for some measure of reassurance, and feeling great trepidation about what might be about to happen. S. immediately approached the door with a blindfold in hand and placed it over my eyes. Have you ever been blindfolded when wet and naked? Talk about feeling vulnerable!!! I stood there. now blind, still holding my towel tightly against me, and listened as S. walked away from and then came back.

He commanded me to open my mouth, and I felt the pacifier gag (the one that makes me drool uncontrollably) pushed deep into my mouth. He fastened it tightly and then told me to turn around. I obeyed and felt a leather collar pulled tight and buckled around my neck, followed by a leash being clipped to it.

S. then spun me back around and told me: "Get on your hands and knees. I dropped my towel, and hesitated for a moment, but he put his hands on my shoulders, and pushed me toward the floor so I submitted and dropped to all fours. I felt him step behind me into the bathroom and bend down. He began speaking:

"Here are the rules, slave. We are going to play a little game. I've hidden some of your toys around various parts of the house. Your job is to find them. I am going to insert a vibrating bullet and use the controller to indicate whether you are hot or cold when you are searching for each toy. The lowest setting means cold, medium means you are getting warmer, and high means you are very close to a toy. But here's the catch: Once you find the toy, I will use it on you until you find the next toy."

I remained there, on all fours, swaying slightly, trying to take all of this in. "Do you understand, slave?" S. demanded. I nodded and grunted "Uh-huh" through the pacifier gag, already trying hard not to drool. Next thing I knew, S. barked "Spread your legs, slave!" at me and I tried to comply by spreading my legs farther apart. But apparently it wasn't sufficient because I almost immediately felt his hands pushing my knees even farther apart. Then I felt his fingers pushing a bullet vibrator deep into my pussy. He paused,before and after inserting it, to tease my clit with his fingers and I gasped and tried not to close my legs. then I heard something I couldn't identify and next thing I knew, his finger was in my ass, spreading lube inside me. I groaned and tried to move away, but got pulled up short by the leash. Before I could process what was happening, S. slipped the second bullet from my double bullet vibrator into my ass. Having just experienced vibration in my ass for the first time yesterday, I knew it was going to drive me completely crazy.

Once S. finished inserting both bullets, he stood up and I pulled my legs in to a more comfortable position, my knees already starting to ache a bit against the hard tile bathroom floor. "Okay, let's start this on low" announced S. and he turned on the bullets, causing me to jump as a steady low vibration filled both my pussy and my anus. "Let's go slave!" I felt the crop tap against my bare ass, and I unsteadily moved forward on all fours, blind and gagged, leashed and with the vibrating bullets deep inside me. I moved slowly, already disoriented, and feeling tentatively in front of me with my hands as I progressed. Before long, I felt the vibration in my anus and pussy increase and I knew I must be getting warmer. I made a guess as to the direction I should go and started to turn toward where I thought the living room was, but I was immediately pulled up short by the leash and the vibration slowed again. So I turned back to my original path along the hallway, feeling completely helpless and humiliated to be controlled by a combination of a leash and vibrations in my most private parts.

A few more feet and the vibrations inside me turned to high, and I knew I must be close. I had no idea what toy I was near or whether it was on the floor or somewhere else. Plus, I was finding it difficult to focus with the vibrator on the high setting. I reached out tentatively with one hand and felt around me. Soon my fingers encountered something on the floor and I let my fingers explore it. It only took a few seconds and I immediately emitted a muffled groan through my gag: I had felt metal and a metal chain. Without a doubt, I knew these were the dreaded and very painful nipple clamps. And according to S.'s rules, I knew that he was about to use them on me.

S. heard my muffled groan and said: "What's the problem, slave? If you didn't want me to use them against you, then you shouldn't have found them!" He turned the vibrating bullets off and ordered me to kneel. He then teased each nipple until it was hard by sucking on it and then attached the clamps. They HURT!!!! And I wasn't even moving yet! :( I was just dreading what would happen when I started to crawl with them on!!! But I also knew it would be to my advantage to do it quickly in order to find the next toy and have the clamps removed. 

Once S. was satisfied that the clamps were tight enough, he took up the leash and remote for the bullets once again and set the vibration to low once again. I was in the hallway but not entirely sure which way I was facing at this point, and unsure of where to move. So I simply started to move forward once again. But I was immediately brought up by a tug on the leash, and a steady pressure on the collar, pulling me toward the right, so I slowly spun until the tugging around my neck stopped. By this point, I was really disoriented and unsure of where I was or what to do next. My nipples were aching pretty badly and the low grade vibration in my pussy and anus were distracting me as well. So I hesitated, unmoving. But not for long: I soon felt the crop swing against my ass and I started and moved obediently forward once again, feeling like some sort of pack animal.

I felt myself cross a threshold and knew from the feeling of the rug under my fingers that I was in the living room. I felt the vibrations increase to medium and moved forward slightly more confidently. My nipples were starting to kill me with the chain from the clamps swinging back and forth with each movement and causing more pain. I wanted them off as soon as possible! So I crawled forward, feeling my way until the vibration increased to high. Having learned from my previous experience, I stopped short and began to explore the area around me with my fingers, searching for something that shouldn't be there. It took me a few moments, but my hand eventually encountered some type of fabric. I was confused: I don't have any fabric toys and yet it shouldn't be there on the living room floor. Puzzled, I pulled the fabric closer and felt the drag on it. Something heavier than the fabric was being dragged on it. So I felt around the fabric and my fingers finally closed on a long hard plastic object with a double bulb: One partway along it and the other at the end. I immediately recognized one of my vibrator toys with a secondary bulb for clit stimulation.

"Very good, slave." Now I get to use this on you for 5 minutes before you move on to look for the next toy," S. announced. He bent down and released the nipple clamps. I had expected to feel relief once they were off, but instead the pain doubled as the blood rushed to my abused nipples, causing me to cry out in pain. Before I could recover, S. moved behind me and pulled out the bullet in my pussy, replacing it immediately with the vibrator on full power. I stood there, on all fours, my nipples screaming at me, and tried not to sway as I felt the vibrator inserted deep inside me, the nub stimulating my clit. S. kept varying the positions the toy was in, never giving me a chance to adjust. He called out the minutes as they ticked by: "Three more minutes, two more, one more minute, slave." Before he was done, I came: A small orgasm that nevertheless caused me to gush fluid. The feeling of being blindfolded, gagged and leashed, and unable to control anything that was happening to me, made my head reel. Once the five minutes were up, S. removed the toy and replaced the bullet once more.

"Time to keep going, slave!" He announced. I hesitated again, my head spinning, but moved forward again as soon as he applied the crop to my bare ass. I was now moving across the living room to the other side. I could feel the vibration go from slow to medium and then to high as I altered my course slightly. Knowing I was close, I halted, and started hesitantly to feel around me. I was trying to think what toy I might encounter next. My nipples ached and my pussy tingled. I was having a difficult time focusing. Eventually, my fingers encountered something long and thin and I moaned and shook my head back and forth in denial, having recognized the flicker whip. My ass was already pretty sore from the previous night and I dreaded having to endure a whipping while blindfolded, gagged, leashed, and on all fours.

"That's right. You know what that is," S told me, a smirk in his tone. I waited for the vibrator to at least be turned back off but he left it at full throttle: "the bullets will remain on high until I am done with this next part, he informed me. I hung my head a bit and tried to brace myself for what was to come. A whistling sounded through the air and the first impact hit my already tender right butt check. I moaned through the gag as pain traveled through my body. S. soon followed it with a second to my left cheek. he continued to whip my ass cheeks in turn but without a clear pattern so I couldn't anticipate him: One on the left, two on the right, three on the left, one on the right, etc.

By the time he was done, I was trembling convulsively and wondering how in the world I was going to continue this game of his. My pussy was tingling from having just cum and the sensation of the bullets in my pussy and anus on high. And my ass was on fire, the new welts stinging like crazy. My knees and shoulders ached and I was completely disoriented and pretty close to being in full fledged subspace.

"Turn around, slave," S. commanded me. And I felt the vibrator return to low once again, giving me a blissful break from the constant stimulation. I quickly turned at the tug on the leash, afraid that any hesitation would earn me a slap from the crop on my already painful ass. S. must have sensed that I was fading and becoming more disoriented by this point, because he added some verbal directions as I crawled forward, telling me to return through the doorway and then crawl through into the bedroom. I obeyed, my sore knees protesting and felt the bullets change to medium vibrations as soon as I entered. I moved tentatively to the left, toward the desk, and was rewarded by increased vibes. Once I got right up to the desk, the stimulation was on high once more and I knew I was close. I reached around me, desperate to find whatever it was that was nearby, hoping it might be the final toy I had to find. But I couldn't locate anything around me.

S. took pity on me and told me: "Check the chair, slave. You know where the chair is." So I reached up and did. My fingers followed the legs of the chair to the seat, and there I touched a foreign object: A quick feel informed me that the silicone bulbous shape under my fingers was the largest butt plug. I moaned in despair and felt drool slide down my chin, as I was still unable to swallow from having the pacifier gag inserted and it was now starting to overflow.

S. didn't give me a chance to prepare. He pulled the bullet out of my anus and immediately inserted the large plug, pushing against it to be sure that it was deeply seated. I groaned at the additional pressure on my knees and the sensation of fullness deep into my ass. "You better hurry up and find the next toy then, hadn't you, if you want the plug out," S. taunted me. "You have one more toy to find before the game is over," he informed me. So I turned away from the desk and once again resumed my slow crawl across the floor. I felt my leash being yanked to the left this time so I moved toward the other side of the bedroom and the vibrations, now in my pussy only since the plug had replaced the anal bullet, increase from low to medium, and then to high. The remaining bullet, trailed on the floor, making a tremendous racket as it vibrated against the wood. "Tsk, tsk, what WILL the neighbors think!?" S. taunted me, causing me to push my exhausted body forward even faster.

I searched around desperately for the next and final toy, my fingers sliding over the floorboards until my hand bumped into a large and heavy object. I quickly identified it as the Hitachi wand. I simultaneously felt fear and relief. I was relieved because it wasn't a toy that caused pain, but was also afraid because I had never experienced someone else using the wand on me and my pussy was already so swollen, I thought I might go out of my mind when S. turned it on.

S. commanded me to turn around 180 degrees and guided me with a steady pull on the leash until I was positioned to his satisfaction. Then I heard him sit down behind me. "I'm going to use the wand on you for 7 minutes, he informed me: 3 and a half on low and 3 and a half on high." Seven minutes may not sound like much, but it usually takes me less than two to cum with the Hitachi wand just on the low setting even when I'm not at all aroused to start with. And I pretty much turn it off the instant I start to cum because I can't stand the stimulation once I'm that aroused. I couldn't imagine what 7 minutes with it being pressed into my pussy was going to feel like. My head was spinning and I panted through the gag.

S. commanded me to spread my legs once more and I struggled to comply. My knees were killing me by now and my entire body was still trembling from the earlier whipping. I felt as if none of my joints had any strength left in them. My ass was on fire, the welts stinging fiercely, my nipples still ached dully and I had drool dripping down my chin. I was prevented from moving my neck freely by the restricting leather collar and leash, and I was already halfway to subspace. I had never felt so vulnerable, exposed or helpless in my life.

I pushed my protesting body to assume the position S. had commanded and tried to brace myself for the Hitachi wand. I have a head attachment on it that allows one part to be inserted deeply, while the main head remains against the clit, stimulating it directly. I felt S. push the attachment into my pussy and shove it in as deeply as it would go. He then adjusted the head of the wand so it was directly against my clit and turned it on low. "Three and a half minutes," he said.

As the powerful vibrations began, I nearly lost it and pulled my legs closed, but I somehow managed to remain in position. The sensation was crazy. To have that level of stimulation being wielded against me by someone else when my body and mind were already completely spent was insane. I was completely defenseless and I simply gave myself over to the stimulation. I tried hanging my head and arching my back upward to steady myself a bit, but S. immediately grabbed my long pony tail and yanked my head all the way back so my pussy was even more exposed and I had no way to brace myself at all.

At this point, I lost all control and a river of drool pooled down my chin continuously as I began to cum hard. Usually I would have immediately turned off the wand, but that wasn't going to happen tonight. Instead, my now aching clit and pussy continued to be assaulted by the powerful vibrations of the wand and I moaned, groaned, whimpered, and writhed, as much as the gag would allow. S. continually moved the head of the wand around, preventing numbness from setting in, or allowing me to become accustomed to any particular stimulation.

"Now three and a half minutes on high," he announced. I had expected him to turn the wand off and then switch it on high, giving me a chance to brace myself. But, instead, he immediately switched it onto the most powerful level making me gasp and pant. At this point, I think I was pretty much cumming continuously, unable to stop. My entire body shook as the waves took over my body and I just tried to endure until the time was up. I could hear the drool rushing down my chin as I salivated helplessly and the drops land in a puddle on the floor before me. It was humiliating to know that I was gushing from both ends and completely unable to stop myself.

Finally, S. turned off the wand and let go of my hair and I hung my head, completely spent, tremors shaking my entire body. It's over, I thought to myself. I did it. Thank God! But little did I know, S. had one more thing in store for me. I heard him move around to the front of me and he removed first the collar and leash, and then the ball gag. "Wow, look at that puddle of drool on the floor," he mocked me, "you are a dirty slave!" I moaned and tried turn my head away, but as I was still blindfolded, I wasn't sure where away was.

I expected S. to remove the blindfold next and tell me it was over, but instead he commanded me to kneel up. I pushed my aching, trembling body upward and complied. I could feel him standing very close in front of me, and as he removed the pacifier gag, he snapped "Keep your mouth open" before I had a chance to rest my aching jaws. I obeyed, now getting some idea about what he was up to, and immediately felt his cock inserted into my mouth. "Suck, slave!" he commanded me. I steadied myself by holding onto S's hips as I complied, sucking hard on his cock which immediately grew enormous, filling my mouth completely.

I continued to suck and use my tongue, alternating the two sensations I know please him the most, until he grabbed my head and pulled my face back and forth, face fucking me. I tried hard not to gag (I have a very sensitive gag reflex) and continued to try to please him as he thrust more and more deeply into my mouth. Finally, when I thought I wouldn't be able to keep my jaws open another second, he withdrew himself from my mouth and came explosively over my chest and belly. I have never felt so much cum in my life! I was still blindfolded, and it felt as if three men were cumming on me at once! Every time I thought he must be done, another load of hot cum hit my chest, dripping down me.

Finally, S. expended his load, and stood there, panting, with me kneeling before him, cum and drool dripping freely from my body, trembling from head to toe. He reached down and removed the blindfold at long last and I blinked up at him briefly before shutting my eyes again. I was deep in subspace and unable to handle any more stimulation.

"You can stand up now...if you can," S. told me, as I knelt at his feet, swaying and shaking helplessly. I staggered to my feet and stood there completely disoriented and unable to keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds at a time. S. seemed to realize my condition and he led me gently to the bathroom and helped me into the tub, running the hot water high to fill the tub up fast. All I could do was sit there and shake. I'm not exactly sure what happened after that. I remember him asking me something about what kind of soap I preferred but I was completely unable to speak or even process the question, so he must have chosen one for me. I remember the feeling of a washcloth on my skin, gently washing me all over. I remember the trembling slowly abating. I kept leaning toward the outside of the tub, wanting to be close to him. After a bit, S. sat on the edge of the tub and I was able to press my forehead into his lap while he bathed me. That calmed me down more than anything.

Once he was done cleaning me, S. allowed me to sit in the hot water for some time and I clung to him as he sat on the edge of the tub, with my head in his lap. This felt better than anything: Just being close to him. I felt the trembling slowly abate and then finally stop completely. I opened my eyes for a few seconds at a time, and then more frequently. Eventually, (I have no idea how long), I was able to open my eyes all the way and look up at him. At that moment, I pretty much would have done anything in the world he told me to.

S. was so sweet and he held my face and covered me with gentle kisses and told me I was beautiful and talked to me until I started to come back to myself some more. He then helped me out of the tub and dried me off before leading me back to the bedroom and getting me under the covers with him cuddled beside me. Again, I have no idea how long we were there, but I slowly regained control of my mental and physical faculties and after a while, I was able to talk about the experience and begin to analyze it a little bit. S. continually kissed me and told me he loved me. :)

After quite some time, I was finally able to sit up and told him I was fine to go cook dinner now. So he went off to take his own bath and clean up. I went to the kitchen and made dinner, but I soon realized that I wasn't even close to being back to normal yet. I dropped every other thing I picked up, and when it was time to set the table, it took me several minutes to puzzle out whether I should place spoons or forks at the settings (this shouldn't have been a difficult decision since we were eating soup, but at the time it seemed too complex a question for my exhausted brain to cope with). I felt a deep exhaustion in my joints, and so I asked S. if he would carry the soup out for me because I was frankly afraid that, in my state of disorientation and exhaustion, I would most likely drop it.

S. kindly did bring the bisque to the table for us, and we ate and then watched a movie. But within minutes of the start of the film, I could barely keep my eyes open. S. noticed this and asked if I wanted to put my head on his lap. I said yes please!!! This was exactly what I had been desperately wishing for (isn't he the best Dom in the entire world?) and I was soon cuddled in his lap, with his arms around me. I dozed on and off for the next hour or so, waking periodically as he gently kissed my face. And when I woke up, I felt refreshed and better able to function.

It's now late at night and I need to get to sleep. S. is already in bed beside me, fast asleep, looking completely adorable and heartbreakingly sexy. I long to cuddle beside him and feel his warm skin next to mine. But this experience was so completely overwhelming, I just had to get it out. I've always processed things by writing about them, and this was something I needed to do before I could rest.

My final words before I go sleep beside my beloved Dom are gratitude: I am so very very very grateful to have a partner who cares about me so deeply, who is so creative and thoughtful in planning things for me, who can read me and knows when to push and when to be gentle, and most especially who provides the best aftercare in the world! I am humbled and blessed and eternally grateful for my S. I am completely head over heels in love with him. I hope to spend every minute of the rest of the life with him.

First Anal & Bondage Harness

We drove home on Sunday after one final gourmet breakfast and checking out of the inn, and spent a lovely afternoon at home, cuddling in front of the TV, watching movies. S. kept up the routine of playing with my nipples nonstop so I was very very very horny by the time the movie ended and all wet. He seems to delight in keeping me constantly horny and then teases me about what a “dirty slave” I am, and tells me he doesn’t understand why I’m wet all the time.

I’d been asking S. if I could have the privilege of washing him when he took a bath for the last couple of days, but he kept saying no. But he did call me in after his bath that afternoon and tossed me a towel and said, “Dry me, slave!”  I was so happy to be able to serve him in that way!  I carefully used the towel to dry every inch of him. I did his top first and then knelt and dried his legs and then his cock and balls very very carefully. He turned around so I repeated the procedure for his backside as well. Then I checked to make sure that he was pleased with the way I had done it. He was! J It made me smile a lot!!! S. knows that I have a terrible time with any type of titles and he’s promised me that I will call him “Master” again before he leaves. But he knew I wouldn’t say it so easily. So he commanded me to say “Thank you, Sir.” After drying him off. I flushed bright red and stared at the floor and said “Thank you, Sir.” In a tiny voice.  I hoped that would be good enough. But apparently it wasn’t: S. grabbed my hair and forced my head up to face him, saying “Look at me!” I stared into his eyes, unable to move my head away, and he said: “Now say it again.” I cut my eyes away a couple of times, gathering my courage and then repeated “Thank you, Sir” in my small voice and he was finally satisfied. He let go of my hair and I immediately looked at the floor once more.

After that, the rest of the evening became progressively more interesting.  S. had indicated earlier that day that he wished for me to cook him lamb chops so I happily did. It was his first time tasting lamb and he loved it!!!! It makes me so very happy to be able to please him in that way! :D After that, S. decided that he wanted to do the dishes for me. I keep telling him that he isn’t supposed to be doing any work at all! That I can and will happily do absolutely everything for him!!! But I guess he has his own ideas on the topic lol. Because he told me that he was the Dom and could do whatever he wanted and that if I didn’t shut up and learn my place, I could kneel in the kitchen doorway and watch him in silence until he was done with the dishes. So after that, I stopped voicing my objections, although I still felt very very twitchy and useless, watching him move around my kitchen cleaning up for me!!!!

Then things got kind of crazy. We went to the bedroom and he put the spreader bar back on me. I was on my hands and knees, so the bar spread me very wide back there. Then S. attached the wrist restraints and used the bondage rope to attach the wrist restraints to the center of the bondage bar, running the rope between my arms and legs. I was still on all fours, bent over with my ass in the air, but the difference was that I couldn’t take a header off the bed or move away now that my wrists and ankles were connected. He then inserted the bit gag, and proceeded to whip my ass soundly. It hurt! He moved very quickly and I didn’t hear him pick up the whip, so the first lash took me completely by surprise. When it hit, I jumped so hard, my hands and knees all left the bed simultaneously. S. enjoyed that. And with the spreader bar, I couldn’t even wiggle from side to side, the way I normally do, and the bondage rope prevented me from lunging forward either. By the time he was done, my ass HURT and I had drooled all down my chin. S. would come over periodically and yank my head up by the hair and ask how I was doing. With the gag in place, and halfway in subspace, all I could do was groan unintelligibly back.

After he was done placing welts all over my ass, S. inserted the largest butt plug once again, causing me to moan. Then he brought out the double bullet vibrator. He placed the first bullet deep inside my pussy, and then used the second one in a way I would never have anticipated: He held it right against the base of the butt plug, causing the entire plug to vibrate deep in my ass! I about lost it when he did that. I groaned, and squirmed and wiggled as far as the spreader and restraints would let me, which wasn’t far at all. Despite all my desperate movements,  S. continued to press the bullet right against the plug, making me crazy with the vibration deep inside my ass.  The sensation was simply insane, and I wasn’t sure I could stand it, but I had no other choice. So S. continued to torment me until he was satisfied, while I wriggled, moaned and groaned desperately fighting it. When he was FINALLY done, he removed the restraints and let me recover for a while.

Later on that night, S. became very hard while we were cuddling in bed, and decided it was time for my first session of anal. So he had me kneel on the edge of the bed with my ass presented and spread my legs. I did as I was told. In a way, this was harder than anything yet, because I’ve been so terrified of anal and there were no restraints keeping me in place. I had to use sheer willpower not to bolt away from him, and lock my muscles in place instead. My heart was beating so very hard, I thought it would explode. I could hear S. behind me, putting on a condom and I started trembling in fear of what was to come. I buried my head in the comforter and gripped it in both fists, and just tried to hang in there and not move. Then I heard the lube bottle and next thing I knew, his finger was deep in my ass. It’s bad enough having something inserted in there, but the in and out, in and out sensation is enough to make me want to leap through the nearest window, glass and all. But I knew I had to remain still, so I grit my teeth, arched my back, and did.

I could hear him lubing up his cock and fought the urge to turn around and peek to see how wide he was. I was so afraid that this was going to hurt terribly! Then, the next thing I knew, his cock was in my ass!!!!!! It was so fast!!! Not at all what I had expected! I had imagined it having to be pushed in slowly and ripping my anus apart as it went. But it was inside me in the flash of an instant and S. started pounding against me. The in and out sensation was pretty awful, but I was so insanely relieved that it wasn’t horribly painful, I remained still and didn’t move until he was done. By this time, I was most of he way into subspace: The willpower it had taken for me to submit and remain in position without bolting away had completely drained me, and after spending so much time on my hands and knees recently, my trembling muscles ached.

When S. went to the bathroom to wash and clean up, I just collapsed a little onto the bed on my belly with my legs still bent and spread. By the time he came back, I was still that way, just trying to remember how to breathe. He came over and asked me some questions about the experience, but all I could do was mostly nod or shake my head.  As always, when I am in subspace, S. took care of me. He sat on the bed and let me curl up with my head on his lap. He patted and stroked me and told me he loved me and made me feel safe until I was able to sit up and speak again. (I never have any sense of time when this happens so I have no idea how long it took).

Once I was better, S. announced that he had decided that I was going to sleep in a bondage rope harness tonight. This was almost too much for me to bear at this point, after enduring the whipping, the butt plug, and now my first time with anal. So I just stared at him, trying to figure out whether he was teasing me, or was serious. I guess I figured out he was serious when he told me to get the laptop so we could look at the diagram… So I obeyed. And he told me to stand up and then followed the directions on the screen to create the harness.

This was my first time in bondage rope, and I had no idea what to expect. It was the weirdest sensation!!! The harness ran between my legs, so both ropes were pulled tight, chafing against my pussy and pulled tight, deep within my butt crack, then running up my spine to be reconnected to the rope around my neck, and finally weaving a pattern around my torso that made the entire harness tight. By the time the final knots were tied, the harness felt very tight around me, and any movement at all caused the rope between my legs to chafe mercilessly either against my clit or my anus. The sensation was maddening.

S. seemed very pleased with himself and ordered me in bed. Just getting into the bed made me immediately realize that I was in trouble. There was no position at all that was even remotely comfortable and he told me to get on my left side and then curled up behind me, tugging a rope now and then, just to make it worse. In that position, the rope bit cruelly into my clit, causing both pain and arousal. And I couldn’t straighten out or wiggle to adjust my position because S. was directly behind me, spooning me. I immediately felt myself begin to drip. I groaned and whined quite a lot over the next few minutes, which just seemed to make S. grin even harder, and when I complained that any tiny movement caused the rope to chafe more against my pussy and anus, he simply responded: “That’s the whole point! Good night, slave!” and turned over and faced the other way, leaving me there in misery.

I turned out the light as ordered and lay there, wondering how in the world I was ever going to fall asleep at all. I kept whimpering quietly, so S. finally said that if I hadn’t fallen asleep within a half an hour, he might release me from the harness. Unfortunately for me, I usually look at my phone to see what time it is, and the phone was a long reach away from the bed, on the shelf. And the LAST thing I felt like doing right then was stretching, causing the harness to bite even more deeply into my sensitive parts. So I just lay there and wondered what time it was. After a short while, I could hear S. snoring gently. At that point, I nearly kicked him! It seemed so unfair that I was lying there, bound and wildly horny and with a constant biting, tugging sensation in my most sensitive areas, while he snored away peacefully. Fortunately, I mastered my impulse, and didn’t kick him or anything else.

Finally, after I have no idea how long, I dozed off, exhausted by the day’s events. I woke up sporadically through the night, each time I tried to move or adjust my position in the bed, the resulting tightening and cruel bite of the ropes would immediately wake me up. The night went on this way until maybe 3 or 4 am when S. woke up as well. He asked whether I wanted the harness removed and I nodded and said please!!!! So he removed it and my god what a relief it was!!! The rope left an interesting pattern of marks and some chafe areas on my body. After that, I slept much much better! It was such a blessed relief not to have anything pulling and chafing against my sensitive areas!!!

In the morning, the rope marks were all gone, but the chafed areas were still red and a bit raw. I didn’t really pay much attention to them, until I sprayed my perfume on before going to work and nearly jumped out of my skin: The alcoholic base of the perfume caused the chafed areas on my chest to burn like mad! I had to wipe tears from my eyes before I could continue to get dressed.