Very Scary Experience

If you've been keeping up with my blog, you know that we recently acquired a new O-ring gag.

So, the other night, S. decided to put it on me for my training with it. He attached it snugly and then went about his normal routine of playing with me. He attached the cuffs and then connected my wrists and ankles, so I was in a doggy style position with my face against the mattress and my ass in the air.

I felt S. move behind me on the mattress and then felt his fingers spread me and he soon penetrated me. Up until this point everything was fine. But then, he started to pound me and, with each new thrust, my face and shoulders were pushed forwards against the mattress. Normally, this is a little painful but okay, but with the O-ring gag in, I couldn't brace myself at all.

I began to groan with each new thrust, but S just kept right on going. Then, something really bad started to happen: For some reason, because of the way the gag held my jaw and throat, my airway started to collapse more with each thrust. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening, but I could hear the gasping, ragged breaths I was trying to take in, and I started to get scared. I tried to shout to S to STOP! But with the O-ring gag in it was completely unintelligible. Plus by that time my airway was getting really cut off and I could barely breathe so it just game out as another moan and he kept right on going. I struggled and moaned as loud as I could, but S. thought I was just reacting to his penetrating me deeply and kept right on going.

At that point I started to see little black stars and I had a terrifying moment where I thought: "Oh God, I might actually die!" In a last desperate attempt, I wrenched and twisted my entire body to the left and finally managed to fall over onto my left side, with my hands and feet still shackled behind me gasping for breath. S. was immediately by my side asking what was wrong. Of course, with the gag still in place, I couldn't answer. I just cried and moaned unintelligibly. He finally got the hint and removed the gag, and between sobbing gasps, I explained what had happened.

So that was a VERY scary experience for me! :(  It had never even crossed my mind to be scared of having my airway blocked by a gag that holds my mouth open! I had had that fear related to ball gags. But there was just something about that position and the constant thrusting and weight pushing from behind me that made it impossible to breathe. It was a big lesson to learn and S. agreed that, from now on, if we use ANY type of gag at all, we will be using a bell or something that I can get his attention with if I'm in trouble.

O-Ring Gag

S. has been talking about getting an O-ring gag for a while now and so a few weeks ago we ordered one. I was simultaneously excited and terrified. I have a thing about being able to control what goes into my mouth, and this gag makes that simply impossible. It also was described as causing the wearer to drool uncontrollably (which I find icky and humiliating and S enjoys greatly). So yeah, I was dreading the arrival of our new toy quite a bit! To make matters worse, there were four sizes available: S, M, L and XL. And we had no clue which to order. It had to fit in my mouth which isn't all that big, which means I'd have preferred the smallest size available or a Medium at the very most, but my darling S. is very large, and had to be able to fit through it, which meant we needed one of the larger sizes. I finally compromised by ordering a Large and crossing my fingers.

When the new gag arrived in the mail, we opened the box and I looked at it. It just looked scary!!! After some hesitation, I tried it on, and the first thing I thought was OWWWWWW! It was so large that I could barely even get it into my mouth at all! And once it was in, my jaw was in absolute agony. I could barely stand to keep it in for a few seconds at a time! My first thought was to just give up and send it back, but I spent the next few minutes experimenting with it and found that if I sat it at a bit of an angle with the bottom part of the ring back a bit, it wasn't so bad and although it still hurt, I didn't feel as though I would pass out from the pain any second.

S. found all of my moaning and experimenting very funny because he has an enormous mouth and he was able to pop the ring in and out of his mouth with room to spare and no pain. He demonstrated how easy it was and asked me what my problem was. He mocked me quite a bit. Grrrr. He then declared that I'll have to wear the gag for a few minutes each day, increasing the time until I'm able to wear it more comfortably. Oh joy, more training... sigh.

On the bright side, S. tried the gag out when he was fully hard and he was able to fit through it, although with no room to spare so that's a good thing. Because there is absolutely NO way I would be able to fit the XL size into my mouth at all!!!

Canoeing & Bondage

A few days ago, S and I went canoeing while we were both on vacation. We paddled for a while and then stopped for lunch. We found a secluded area and got out of the boat, spreading our towels and sat and munched on the picnic we had brought. How lovely!!! :)

After a while, I got kind of frisky and started poking, biting and licking S in various places just for fun. He told me to stop several times but I just giggled and kept at it. That is, until he went to the boat to retrieve an extra rope and proceeded to bind my hands, run the rope through my crotch and around behind me and then back to my hands so I couldn't move at all, and any struggling just made the rope tighter as I pulled against my own crotch. Grrrr!

I lay there for a while, whining and wrestling with the rope, while S. calmly ignored me and read his book. After a while, he looked up and saw some people coming. I was horrified! What would they think!!!??? But S just tossed a towel over me so nobody could see that I was bound. I was still mortified. Ugh! All I could think of is what would happen if they saw me! Would they think I was in trouble? Would they think we were crazy?

Finally S. decided I'd been punished enough and untied me. Phew! I had rope marks on my wrists for the rest of the day, which was kind of interesting as we normally use leather cuffs and I don't get any type of marks there. I couldn't stop looking at them and poking them lol. S kept telling me: "You're fine!!!" But I was more looking at them because they were cool than because they hurt! :)

Outdoor bondage is like a whole new dimension for me. It's something that both attracts and terrifies me. For one, I'm terrified of bugs and the thought of being partially or wholly naked and unable to protect myself from insects is very very scary. Also there's something incredibly vulnerable about being stripped and helpless outdoors. S finds the whole idea very exciting so I imagine that I will be experiencing more of it at some point in the future! :)

Clothespin Hell

A clothespin: Such a simple little device. Two pieces of sculpted wood and a spring mechanism. Who would have thought that such a tiny little object could cause so much bloody pain!!!???

In my browsing of the web, I've often seen images like this one:

And I've thought to myself: Pffft, that doesn't look very painful! Just some teeny little clothespins. What's the big deal?! Well today, I found out exactly how those seemingly innocent lil devices feel.

It all started like this: I have been told multiple times by S. that HE is the one who takes out the trash. I usually try to do everything for him before he can do it, but this is one task he has designated as absolutely his. So today, he carried out the trash and put down the bag a couple of yards away from the trash can while he unlocked his truck and put some things inside. So I went over and picked up the trash bag and popped it into the garbage can. Plop! Took about 10 seconds total, and I felt good about helping!

That is, until I turned around and saw the look on S's face. He did NOT look happy. "That's it. I'm punishing you later!" he said with a scowl. I sort of half laughed, remembering the pain of the last punishment but not believing that he would punish me for carrying the trash bag a yard and a half.

Sadly I was wrong on that point. And so later that afternoon, after we got home, we wound up playing on the bed and S told me he wanted to try a new position. He put the wrist and ankle cuffs on me and then cuffed the spreader bar behind my back to my wrists. He then connected the ankle cuffs and suddenly pushed me from behind. I wasn't expecting it, and since my hands were shackled behind me, I fell over right onto my face. "Hey!" I protested. but S just laughed. S then proceeded to connect the spreader bar to my ankles using bondage rope. So I was on my knees, with my arms held behind my knees, and my face on the mattress.

S then informed me that he wasn't going to whip me for my punishment today but that he planned to do something else instead. I was immediately relieved! I vividly remembered the last punishment and was terrified of being whipped that hard again! So I relaxed somewhat and told myself that whatever the punishment was, it couldn't be that bad.

Then I heard S get out the bag of clothespins we recently purchased. I almost laughed aloud! I figured this so-called punishment was going to be a joke! How could a tiny little wooden clothespin hurt? I smiled into the mattress. But my smile soon vanished as S. applied the first one to my pussy: At first, the sensation took me so much by surprise, I didn't even register it as pain. I was like: Wait a minute, what are you do...OWWWWW! I was absolutely stunned by how much just one clothespin attached to a tender area, hurt!!!

But before I could begin to adjust to the new sensation, S. was already applying more clothespins in quick succession: Three or four to my pussy, and then a bunch (it felt like thousands, but probably only 10, hard to say) to my ass, forming a ring around my anus. And oh my freaking God, it HURT!!!! I immediately started moaning: "No, no, no, NO, NO, NO!!!!" But S just laughed and kept right on applying them.

By the time he was done I was in agony! The ring around my ass was killing me and every time I moved at all, the resulting bouncing of the clothespins was enough to make me scream! "It hurts! It HURRRRRTS!" I cried.

S's only response was: "And?"

He told me that my punishment was to endure the clothespins for 20 minutes. "TWENTY MINUTES???!!!" NOOOOOOOO!" I moaned. "It HURRRRRRRTS!"

"Yes, that's good. It wouldn't be much of a punishment if it didn't hurt, would it?" S responded and then informed me he'd be back in 5 minutes to see how I was doing. I heard the door shut and was left alone with only the constant pain on my pussy and backside for company. I couldn't move at all and any wriggling just made it worse. I felt so helpless, so vulnerable. "Owowowowowowow" I moaned to myself. "It hurts! I'll be good! Make it stop!" But of course there was nobody in the room to hear me and my cries fell on deaf ears.

By the time S returned to the bedroom, I was crying behind the blindfold he had placed on me. "I'll be good! I'll be good!" I moaned as soon as I heard the door open.
"Yes I imagine you will," he responded. "Maybe if you call me 'Master', I'll take them off." Oh my God, I HATE using that word. GAH!
"Noooooooo!" I howled.
"Fine, have it your way. 15 more minutes," S responded. I panted and cried some more. The more I moaned and cried, the more S laughed. Oh how I hated him right then!!!

I'm not 100 percent sure how the next 10 minutes or so went. I know the pain was getting worse and worse and I was crying in earnest. I remember saying: "It hurts! It hurts!!!! I'll be good! I'll be good!" a lot, and S just saying that wasn't good enough and that unless I called him "Master" the clothespins were staying on for the full 20 minutes. I just cried harder and moaned "Noooooo!" into the mattress.

Then S left the room for a minute and I heard the water running in the kitchen. I had no idea what was going on. But when he returned, I felt him begin to insert something into my ass. The combination of my most hated sensation: Having my ass violated plus the friction of something penetrating me without any lube whatsoever, plus the sudden explosion of pain as the skin around the clothespins was pulled even tighter was simply too much for me to bear, and before he could even push whatever it was partway in, I abandoned all of my pride and cried out:

"NO!!!! Please MASTER, Please, PLEASE stop!!!!"

Immediately I felt the item being removed from my anus and then S started unfastening all of the clothespins. That was a mixed blessing: I was so relieved that they were finally being removed, but each time he took one off, the rush of blood to the abused area of skin caused a fresh wave of intense pain. "Ow! Ow! OW!" I cried as each one was removed, sobbing into the blindfold.

Finally, the last one was taken off and I was able to focus on trying to remember how to breathe again and make my shaking subside while S slowly unfastened my restraints. Once he was done, S lay down on the bed beside me and asked if I'd learned my lesson. I nodded as vehement a YES as my trembling body would allow. That seemed to satisfy him. After that, he held me until I was able to speak again. He was very pleased that he had not only punished me, but that he had also gotten me to call him "Master" to boot. Grrr. He also informed me that the item he had been inserting into my ass was a candlestick. A freaking candlestick!!! Argh! After a while, S. suggested a bath to soothe my aching sore ass and pussy. I was still quite dizzy and so he held his hand out for me and I took it and followed him into the bathroom, feeling like a little girl.

The bath went a long way toward soothing my sore areas, but it still hurts to sit down. I think my ass especially got quite a bruising! At this rate, I'm going to develop a pathological fear of trash bags. Sigh. But seriously, I guess I'd better try to be more obedient from now on, because S's punishments are no joke!

Lemon Juice is Evil!

S. decided a couple of weeks ago that it's time for me to be trained for anal again. If you've read my blog since the beginning, you know that I never had anal before meeting S. The whole idea is frankly GROSS. I've never understood why guys want it!!! And any of the men I've previously had relationships with who attempted to get in there were instantly and forcefully rebuffed. My usual line is: "That ride is closed for the season!"

I was quite happy with my status as an anal virgin. And had absolutely zero aspirations to become otherwise. That is, until I met S. When we were first starting to talk about our fantasies, the very first thing he said was that he had always dreamed of having anal. And I thought to myself: Oh boy, here we go again...sigh.

Unfortunately for me, I then fell in love with S. and he became my Dom and I wanted badly to please him. And so, to make a long story slightly shorter, I wound up agreeing to being trained for anal intercourse. It was my hope that it wouldn't be as yucky as I had always imagined. Sadly, I soon found out that I hated the feeling. :( But that didn't dissuade S. from his goal and so I obediently inserted a series of increasingly large anal toys for longer and longer periods of time last winter until he was satisfied. And so I had anal intercourse for the first time at Christmas. (Groan)

After that, S. didn't bring it up again much and I was allowed to stop inserting anal toys and spent the next six months blissfully ignoring that part of my body...until a few weeks ago that is. S announced that it was time to take up the training again and I started looking for convenient ways to commit suicide (just kidding).

So over the course of the last couple of weeks, I've had to endure one toy or another inserted for between 10 and 15 minutes at a time. My feelings about anal haven't changed: I HATE the sensation!!!! It's like being violated in the most personal place possible. And I find the whole concept of it just icky. But S. has decided, and so I must endure.

Last night, was time for more of this joyous training (blech). S. had me lie on my stomach on the bed, and then used the under the bed restraint system to tie my legs and pull them as far apart as they would go. He then cuffed my wrists together and attached them to the wrought iron headboard so I was spread across the bed in a sort of a Y and couldn't move at all.

S then inserted a vibrator into my pussy and turned it on high. After that, I heard the hated sound of the lube being opened, and before long, his finger was invading me, lubing me up. Have I mentioned how much I despise that sensation? It just feels so WRONG! I tried to wriggle away and close my legs, but it was impossible. S then inserted the largest toy I own into the pre-lubricated hole. The first few attempts, I thought it was going to be too big to fit and I moaned and tried to fight it. But, after a minute or so, I felt it slipping inside me, spreading me wide as it went. S gave a satisfied "there!" and pushed it as far as it could go. All I could do was bury my head in the mattress and wail. He informed me that it would stay in for the next 15 minutes.

Then S decided that since my ass was presented so nicely and available to him, he just had to whip it. So I spent the next few minutes alternating between hating the sensation of the butt plug raping my ass and whimpering in pain from lashes of the whip. Then S. stopped and I breathed a sigh of relief, letting my body relax. It's over, I thought to myself when I heard him put down the whip. Thank goodness! But, only seconds later, my head whipped up and I literally let out a scream because, unbeknownst to me, S had picked up his belt and given me a huge whack with it. After that, I had to endure him going back and forth between the whip and the belt for a while until my ass was on fire and I was moaning "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow" into the mattress nonstop.

S then stopped and left the room for a little while and then returned. To my horror, he them proceeded to use fresh lemon slices to rub lemon juice into all the fresh welts on my ass. This was an idea he had gotten from another Dom we met on slaveduties' website named Dark Truth (If you're reading this DT, I hate you!) I had never experienced this before, and so I froze, wondering what it would feel like. For the first few seconds, it wasn't so bad. Just a mild tingling sensation and I thought I was going to get off easy. But then, the sensation got stronger and it started to really sting. The more time went by, the worse it got. :(

S. sat down on the bed next to me, using the side of my body to recline against and announced that now I had been given the lemon juice treatment, he was going to relax and cut his nails for the next 10 minutes until my time with the butt plug was up. I was outraged: By now, my ass was starting to really burn, and all I could think of was getting the plug OUT and washing OFF the damn lemon juice, and there he was, all comfy, doing his freaking nails?

I called him a bunch of names and wriggled about as much as I could on the bed, trying to body slam him. But S just laughed and told me to lie still. He informed me that if I kept moving, he'd add another 5 minutes to the anal training. So I had no choice but to lie there and hate him while the sensation of burning on my ass increased slowly with each passing minute. By the time 5 minutes had gone by, I was moaning and saying: "It burns! It hurts! It stings!!!!" S's only response was: "So?" Gah!

Finally, once S had finished doing his bloody fingernails (God I wanted to bite him!!!), he was merciful enough to apply ice to my ass, washing away most of the lemon juice and abating the horrible burning sensation that had been making me increasingly desperate. I still had to lie there for the next 5 minutes though, until he deemed that my time with anal training was sufficient.

When he FINALLY undid the restraints, I forced myself to my feet despite my dizziness. All I could think of was taking a shower and washing off the remains of the lemon juice immediately!!! Fortunately, S recognized my wobbly condition and walked me to the bathroom, and assisted me while I cleaned myself, making sure I didn't hurt myself. He then held me in his arms for a long time until I fell asleep.

More Nighttime Mischief

You know you're in trouble when you walk into the bedroom, tired out and ready to crash, and your Dom is busy putting fresh batteries in the vibrator...

That's what happened to me the other night: I had just finished brushing my teeth and was ready for bed, when I walked in on S. in full Dom mode. He was putting fresh batteries in the double vibrator and grinning wickedly. Oh boy, I almost walked back out of the room right away!!!

S. then informed me that I would be sleeping with the vibrator on full all night long and shackled to boot. I then informed him that he had lost his damn mind. lol. I know I probably shouldn't talk to my Dom that way, but seriously? How could I possibly be expected to sleep like that!!!???

Unfortunately for me, S. seemed to think it would be just fine (for him at least grr) and proceeded to cuff my ankles close together, and my wrists as well, and then inserted and turned on the vibrator. Then he turned out the lights and wished me a good night. I guess I went a little crazy at that point. The idea of having to lie like that all night long made me insane! I wriggled and cried, and whined, and kicked (well as best I could with my feet cuffed), and poked S. and called him lots of names. When he didn't react, I bit him... hard!..Several times! That got a reaction all right, but perhaps not the one I was hoping for (removal of the toy).

Instead, S. got up, and proceeded to get the whip and lash my breasts several times as punishment and then put the bit gag on me so I couldn't bite any more. So I moaned and groaned and whimpered and tossed and turned. I tried so hard to resist but after about 10 minutes of the vibrator, I couldn't stand it any more and I started cumming. After the first time, it just gets painful and I want it OUT. I'm so sensitive once I cum, I can't handle more stimulation. S. told me that he'd whip me till I bled if I removed it so I didn't dare touch the damn thing but I was losing my mind!

I guess I was such a nuisance with my whimpering and writhing all over the bed, S. finally decided the only way he was going to get any sleep was to remove it. So, to my great satisfaction, he finally turned off the vibrator and took it off. HALLELEUIAH!!! I still had to sleep in shackles, but it was nothing, compared to the torture of the unrelenting toy!

The next day, S. told me I was very bad for squirming and moaning and whining and being such a nuisance. And that I should just lay still and take it next time.  Next time??? GRRR!

Cuffed at Bedtime

Well S. kept his word and last night, at bedtime, I was put in cuffs and my ankles were attached closely together with only a couple of inches between them, and my wrists were cuffed above me to the wrought iron bedframe...

...And it was awful!!! :(  After only about 10 minutes, both of my arms were asleep from the tips of my fingers, all the way up to my elbows. The tingling was driving me crazy and worrying me. I figured if my circulation was cut off this badly after only a few minutes, it was probably a very bad idea to be cuffed like this for the entire night.

I tried really hard to be good and not complain though: I bit my lip and tried to lie still and be patient. But it was maddening! The longer I lay there, the worse I felt. I tried again and again, unsuccessfully, to readjust my position in a more comfortable way. But  the way I was chained allowed me very little movement, and no matter what I did, it just got worse and worse. My shoulders started to ache first, probably from being held forcibly in one position, and after a while, my neck started to hurt as well. My hands and arms wouldn't wake up no matter what I did. I don't know how long I lay there in complete misery, but it seemed like an eternity! I guess I was making quite a racket with the metal part of the restraints against the wrought iron bed frame after a while, trying desperately to adjust my position, because S. finally woke up and turned over and asked if I was okay. I admitted that I couldn't feel my hands at all.

To my immense relief, S. detached me from the bedframe and simply linked my wrist cuffs together in the same way my ankles were. I was still bound hand and foot, and movement was difficult, but oh my dear God, what a blessed relief not to have my arms held forcibly above my head any more!!!! I rotated my aching shoulders and neck, and repeatedly flexed my poor hands until I had sensation in them again. I think I said "Thank you!!!" about 50 times in a row to S. because I was so grateful for the relief! I even called him "Sir" without prompting which is pretty much unheard of for me. I honestly could have unashamedly kissed his feet I was so grateful!

After that, I was finally able to fall asleep, and I slept deeply for a few hours, worn out. Then I woke up and had to use the bathroom. I guess, my awkward movements as I wrestled myself up so I could get out of bed woke S. up because he turned over and asked what I was doing. When I told him I had to pee, he told me he would be nice and detach the wrist cuffs from one another but I still had to have my ankles bound together for the remainder of the night.

So I shuffled off to the bathroom, one small step at a time, due to the few inches play allowed between my ankles and then gratefully returned to bed. The rest of the night I didn't sleep as well because my ankles were beginning to ache a bit and I wasn't as deeply asleep so every time I turned over, the loud clinking of the metal restraints woke me up. But I didn't mind at all: Compared to having my hands bound above my head, this was complete bliss!!!!

Nervous

Last night, S. told me that he is going to shackle me to the bedframe tonight, all night long. I'm nervous!!!!! I'm kind of hoping he will forget or decide not to do it. The idea of having both my hands and feet tied in such a way that I'm completely helpless the entire night long is scary. And I don't think I'll be sleeping much if I can't turn over or move at all: I usually move a LOT! Oh, and as usual, there's the eternal question of how I'm going to be able to go pee in the middle of the night. S. said I'll just have to hold it. :( :( :( But I think (hope to god) that he was joking!!!! He also mentioned using a gag...

I have a feeling it's going to be a very, very, very long night...

Regarding Belts

Yesterday, S. and I were browsing some BDSM blogs, looking at different pictures, and we saw one of a man using his belt to whip a woman's ass. We both stopped and just stared! I don't know what it was like for him, but it was a total doh! moment for me. All this time, we had had this very interesting toy at our disposal and it had never occurred to either of us!!!

I won't give you any points for guessing what my evening entailed following our blog viewing... I got to try out being on the receiving end of S's belt, of course! He used both the flicker whip and the belt and so, in between crying out in pain, I was able to analyze how they feel different. Here are my mental notes:

When S. first used the belt, he didn't hit very hard and it barely hurt at all. I was thinking to myself that this wasn't so bad!!! But then he adjusted it and hit me much harder and YEOW it seriously hurt!!! The pain from the whip is very different: That pain is very, very sharp and sudden, but it only covers a small area. The pain from the belt was much "thuddier" and less stingy but it really smarted for a long time afterwards. Also, as I discovered the next morning, while the whip causes welts, the belt appears to cause some bruising.

S. kept switching back and forth, so it was very hard for me to brace myself. I didn't know whether to expect a sudden stinging whip in a small area, or the thudding of the leather belt across my entire ass. Also, the sound the belt made when hitting my skin was much louder than the whip: The WHACK must have been heard in the next county over! I had to bury my head in the pillow for fear of waking up the neighbors with my cries of pain.

And so today I'm sporting an interesting array of bruises and welts from S's little evening of experimentation, and as usual, it hurts to sit down. I can't remember the last time I was able to sit down comfortably for several days at a stretch. Sigh...

I wonder what other common household items we've overlooked as potential toys? Hmmm....

Ass Update

As you may recall, a little over two weeks ago, I received my first serious punishment from S: He whipped me very very hard and my ass was quite a mess after that. (You can read about it  Here)  He broke the skin in several places and I spent the next full week in a lot of pain every time I tried to sit down. The worst day was was when I went to the movies with him and some friends. My ass was killing me by about 30 minutes into the movie, but I couldn't adjust my position constantly or our friends would have wondered what in the world was going on. I had to sit there in agony for the next hour and a half. I've never been so glad to see a movie end in my life!

The picture above is pretty but doesn't really do justice to how my ass looked like when S was done with it. He somehow managed to not only cause welts and cuts but also some spectacular bruising on one side to boot! Owwwwwwwie!!! It's taken over two weeks for it to heal completely, and I'll admit that I fear the whip a lot more than I used to!

As you can imagine, I haven't even considered repeating the behavior for which I was punished...

Sadistic Games

Sometimes I wonder where in the world S comes up with these ideas! He never ceases to amaze me with the incredibly twisted scenarios he comes up with!!! As I sit here writing this, my left wrist is sprained, my knees are killing me, my hips ache and my neck is super stiff, oh and my ass hurts (what else is new? Since S. moved in, my ass hurts about 90 percent of the time. He sure does love his whips!)... all courtesy of the new game S. came up with to play with me last night.

So, where to begin? If you've been reading my blog, you know that last week, after S punished me for mouthing off to him about our sex life, he promised me a grueling game on Sunday and gave me a preview of it as a part of the punishment. But when we came back from camping on Sunday, we were both exhausted and nothing happened. We went merrily about our week and I figured he had forgotten all about it. Unfortunately for me, S. rarely forgets his promises...

So, last night, I was happily curled up in the tub with a book when S. cracked the door open and told me that the game was ready for me and that I should let him know as soon as my bath was done. Then he grinned wickedly and shut the door, while I stared after him with an open mouth. Dammit! I hadn't been expecting that at all! And I was kind of in the mood to just snuggle. But sadly, I don't get to make the choices about when we snuggle and when I have to play one of his sadistic games. Needless, to say, I spent the rest of my bath worrying about what was going to happen to me, instead of relaxing!

Finally, I gave up, and got out of the tub and dried off. I stood there, holding my towel around me for a minute, wondering if I should dress, but I figured S. would just immediately order me to undress again anyway, so there was no point. Timidly, clutching my towel, I opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway. I called out: "I'm done with my bath!"

"Good!" S. replied from the bedroom and ordered me to return to the bathroom and wait. I complied, and stood there, holding my towel tightly against me for comfort and protection. Before long, S. joined me in the bathroom and immediately blindfolded me, then left the room again. I clutched my towel tighter, and backed up a step or two, feeling very vulnerable. I soon heard his footsteps returning and then he commanded me to open my mouth. I did as he said, and felt the bit gag being inserted. He tightened it around the back of my neck and I bit down softly against the now familiar rubber bit, wondering what would come next. I didn't have long to wait, because I almost immediately felt the collar being fastened around my neck and then the click of the leash being attached to it.Gah... I always find being leashed particularly humiliating. Being led around like a dog just galls me.

"Get down!" S. commanded, with a tug on the leash. I hesitated for a moment and then dropped my towel, knowing I couldn't keep it around me while crawling on all fours. S. tugged again to encourage me to speed up and I got down on my hands and knees. S. told me to follow him and led me out of the bathroom, tugging the leash to urge me forward. Now this may sound stupid because I've lived here for ten years and I know the house very well but whenever I'm blindfolded, I seem to lose all my sense of orientation, so I have to feel my way forward, and am in constant fear of hitting a doorjamb or a wall or something. I can't explain it exactly, I think it's because I'm in such a vulnerable position, I'm not able to maintain a good grip on where I am in space while S. has me tied or on a leash. So I always seem to move slower than he would like, and become especially hesitant when approaching doorways. Of course, this always seems to make S. impatient and often results in being forcibly pulled forward by the leash or else being whipped until I increase my speed.

Anyway, after some hesitation, I made it through the doorway and into the hallway. S. then ordered me to stay put and explained the rules of the game to me:

"I've hidden a carabiner somewhere on the floor in each of three rooms: The hallway, the living room, and the bedroom. You will need to find the carabiner in each room. I'm going to insert ice into your pussy and it will serve as a countdown device. If you find the carabiner before the ice melts, then I will give you a hint about where the next one is hidden. If you don't find it in time, you will be whipped 10 times on each ass cheek before attempting the next room."

I groaned inarticulately in response. "What's the matter, slave?" S. taunted me. He seems to enjoy asking me questions when I'm gagged and can't respond. Grrr. I just shook my head and tried to steel myself for what was to come. I heard S. move behind me and I immediately tightened my legs together, dreading the freezing/burning sensation of the ice in such a sensitive area. S smacked me on the ass and said: "You better let me put the ice in: It's already melting! Time is running out!" Arrrgh! I hung my head and complied and within seconds, the painful sensation of ice directly against my clit had me gasping. Once S. was satisfied it was in place, he picked up the leash and urged me forward to start the game.

Groaning, I moved forward gingerly each movement grinding the ice in deeper and causing rivulets of melted water to drip down my inner thighs. Goosebumps broke out across my body. I swept my hands across the floor in front of me as I moved, using touch to search for the hidden carabiner. I felt all along the carpet, crawled across the hardwood floor, explored the doorways, tried to search behind the big basket that sits there, but nothing. By now, I was getting desperate: The ice was melting fast and I was in pain both from that and from the pressure on my knees as I moved repeatedly across the floor. I held out both hands helplessly, to signify that I couldn't find it.

"Keep hunting!" S. ordered me and yanked on the leash, forcing me back to all fours. I groaned and, in a desperate last attempt, ran my hand over the shoes that sit by the door. To my immense gratitude, I heard a sudden clink, and I frantically felt around the floor, until my fingers encountered metal at last. I closed my hand around it and held it up to show I had found it! S. checked the ice and there was still a sliver left! Thank god, I thought! I had narrowly avoided a whipping! S informed me that I would be given 3 minutes to rest between rooms, so I should take advantage of it. I eased myself off my aching knees and sat on my bottom, panting, and trying to prepare myself for the next room.

After what seemed like only 30 seconds, S. tugged on the leash, and forced me back to all fours. He led me to the living room and had me stop at the entrance. "There's something I haven't mentioned yet," he said with a sadistic smile in his voice, and I cringed, wondering what new twist was coming: "Each time you find a carabiner, it will be added to your body for the next room." I groaned, realizing what he had in mind. And, sure enough, within less than a minute, he had put the ankle cuffs on me and used the carabiner I had just found to shackle my ankles together. leaving only a couple of inches of space between them. This new complication would make it much more difficult for me to move with any speed and would make finding the next carabiner in the large space of the living room a lot more challenging.

"What's the matter, slave?" S taunted me. "The game would be boring if the difficulty didn't increase with each new level!" I shook my head mutely in disagreement, thinking to myself that the game was most certainly NOT boring for me: Searching for a small item in a large space while blindfolded, gagged and leashed, with ice in my pussy was quite exciting enough without adding shackles to the menu!!! But of course, my opinion doesn't matter, and so, I resigned myself to shuffling forward, pulling my chained ankles behind me.

S moved behind me again and I tried to prepare myself for the feeling of ice once more on my already sore pussy, but instead, I felt the vibrator being inserted deep inside me and turned on. I gasped at the sensation, and tried to adjust my position so it wasn't so distracting. S just pushed it in deeper and then added the ice cube so it sat right against my clit. "Uhhhhhhhhh" I moaned, arching my back. "Time to play!" S laughed at me and I felt the whip against my ass. My head whirling, I obediently moved forward, tentatively feeling ahead of and around me as I dragged my shackled ankles behind me. Each movement made the vibrator's distraction more intense and the cold water from the melting ice dripped down my legs once more. I was sweating from the stress and exertion, but I also had goosebumps from the freezing ice. I tried to speed up, afraid of the pain of the whip if I didn't find the carabiner in time, and my breath came in frantic gasps.

I moved across the entire living room in this way, without finding anything. Had I missed it? My head whirled. I was having a very difficult time focusing. By now my breaths were accompanied by desperate whimpers. I kept moving, knowing I probably had less than a minute left before the ice was completely gone. I rounded the coffee table and pivoted on already painful knees, and THERE! My hand encountered metal near the foot of the couch. I snatched it and held it up, shaking and whimpering.

S. praised me and verified that there was indeed a small sliver of ice left. "Good girl!" he said: "Now for the last room!"

Groaning in pain and exhaustion, I slowly crawled after him, trying to avoid putting pressure on the most painful areas of my knees, and favoring my left wrist which somehow had gotten sprained during one of our sessions last week and was now aching badly. My shackled ankles made moving at any speed difficult and so I crawled along slowly and painfully, until I finally reached the bedroom.

As I had feared, S informed me that the second carabiner would now be added to my body. I moaned loudly and shook my head vehemently. How in the world was I supposed to search the bedroom with BOTH my hands and feet bound together!!!??? But S. ignored my complaints, and got the wrist cuffs out. I pulled away several times when he was attempting to buckle them on, fighting him, and he yanked me sharply back into place, ordering me to be still. I was desperate by now, so I continued to resist, but to no avail: He's stronger than I am to start with and I was already exhausted, and I was soon on all fours once more with less than two inches of play between either my wrists or ankles. I wobbled there uncertainly, moaning softly to myself. How in the world was I supposed to search the room like this???

S. moved behind me and pushed the vibrator in more deeply, making me groan, and then I heard the telltale sound of a tube of lube being opened. I moaned loudly and shook my head again. I knew what was coming. Sure enough, I soon felt S's finger deep in my ass, lubing me up. I groaned, shook my head, and tried to pull away, but to no avail. God, I HATE that sensation. (S. has decided I'm to be trained again for anal use, so he's been using the hated plugs on me daily. Have I mentioned how much I HATE it??? ARGH!) I tried to steel my butt cheeks as a defense but couldn't keep it up for long. So, all too soon, the butt plug was deep inside me, and I writhed, hating the feeling of it invading my most private space. S. left to go wash his hands and then returned, and added the last piece of ice, making me shudder and cry out through the gag. I was very close to being spent. "Start searching!" he commanded and I tried desperately to comply, just wanting it to be over.

The bedroom isn't that big, but with both my wrists and ankles shackled, moving forward became an ordeal, and I had to stop and search each area slowly because I could no longer sweep my hands out in front of and around me: All I could manage was to search the floor area just in front of me. I started for the desk area and slowly and painfully felt around there. "Since you found the other two carabiners, I'll give you a hint:" S told me: "It's not in this part of the room."

I groaned and painfully pivoted on my agonized knees, turning to head back the other way. At this point, I realized that the only good thing about the ice was that I had left a trail of melted water across the hardwood floor behind me as it dripped down my thighs and I was now able to slide my knees across the floor on the wet surface without having to try to crawl one painful inch at a time. This sped up my return to the other side of the room considerably.

But, just as I was starting to feel better, S. brought the whip down sharply across my bare ass cheeks and I jumped and yelped in pain. "Keep searching!" He said in a cheerful voice and whipped me again. I moaned and tried to move forward faster, desperately searching each small area I could reach at a time.

I continued across the floor like this: Blind, gagged, leashed, with wrists and ankles shackled, my pussy on fire, the vibrator deep inside me distracting me, the butt plug making me crazy with every movement, and with the sharp crack of the whip hounding me forward. Let me tell you: With all that going on, just breathing would be a challenge!!! Trying to find a tiny piece of metal in a big room, is madness!!! I was finding it nearly impossible to think straight: Up until now, I had followed a nice systematic search pattern, but I was so frantic by this point, I just swept desperately in front of me, unsure of where I was, or what area I was searching. I was simply desperate to find the carabiner no matter what and end the agony. S continued relentlessly to whip me every few seconds, making me jump and cry out, losing track of whether I had just searched the floor in front of me or not. I sobbed through the gag and moved forward frantically trying to locate the carabiner.

I felt like I was in some kind of a never ending nightmare by this point. I had no idea where in the room I was: For that matter, I wasn't even sure I was in the bedroom any more! Most of my attention was on my knees which were in complete agony and the rest was focused on my ass which S was whipping more and more frequently. I barely remembered to search the floor as I moved forward, sobbing and whimpering with every movement.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of agony, when I reached the far end of the room, my shaking fingers randomly encountered metal, and I snatched it from the floor, holding it aloft in weak triumph, my body sagging against the side of the bed. I was trembling and whimpering. Things got pretty fuzzy after that. I know S. removed the gag, collar and leash and unhooked my wrists and ankles. He also removed the vibrator and butt plug (I despise the feeling of it being pulled out, but after that, oh my god, what a blessed relief not to be penetrated there!) I don't remember exactly how, but the next thing I was aware of, I was on the bed and he was connecting each of my wrists to my ankles, leaving me with my bare ass high in the air and my head down against the mattress. I soon felt him move behind me and penetrate me, pounding on me from behind.

This position seems to get me to cum faster than any other, and I soon was gasping as my face and chest were shoved hard into the mattress with each stroke. S. grabbed my hair and forcibly pulled my head up and back, causing my back to arch, and I came, and then collapsed back against the mattress, utterly spent. S. finished and then removed the shackles and held my trembling body for a long time until I was able to speak once again.

And so ends the recounting of yet another of S's wild games. I hope you enjoyed it! :) He is truly amazingly creative!!!

Feedback Please! :)

Hi everyone,

So, I've been writing this blog for a while, and I've gotten a few responses and comments here and there, but it's kind of strange writing for an unknown audience, you know? I primarily decided to start a blog because when I was looking into this lifestyle, it was other people's blogs, and especially slaveduties' that saved me! So I thought I'd put my own experiences out there for others who might be curious or just starting out.

But I'd love some feedback! What do my readers think of this blog? I know I write very lengthy posts: Are they too long? Do you enjoy the details? What about the images I include: Do they help illustrate the blog topics or just get in the way?

Do you have any feedback, comments, ideas, suggestions? I'd LOVE to hear from you! Remember, you can post anonymously so please share your opinion with me! :)

Camping

This weekend, S and I went camping with some friends. We were going to be sharing their very small RV with them, so I figured that any type of playing was completely out. But it turns out that S had other ideas...

The camper in question is a Jamboree: It's just one of those little old fashioned ones with a bed at one end, and another sleeping area over the driver and passenger's seats, with a tiny table and kitchen in between and a minuscule bathroom to one side. Our friends slept on the bed in the back, and S and I were to share the space over the driver's area. There were maybe two yards between the two beds.

I had been a little nervous about sleeping up there because I'm a bit claustrophobic and was worried about how I'd feel in a space where the ceiling was only a foot or so above me and I couldn't sit up. S was kind enough to sleep in the back part so I could be near the front, and it turned out just fine! I felt very comfortable with exit to the bed right there and the two windows open at our heads and feet. :)

The first night, when we went to bed, we were all very tired and I quickly fell asleep in S's arms. We didn't wake up until some time in the middle of the night when a big storm suddenly hit. I woke up suddenly when the lightning and thunder started and then huge raindrops started to hit the camper, making quite a racket!

I guess S thought this would be the perfect opportunity because, one moment I was lying there quietly listening to the rain, and the next, S had his hand clamped right over my mouth and he started to tease me. At first, he played with my nipples, teasing them, sucking on them, biting them, and making me squirm. Almost no sound escaped from his hand over my mouth and when any did, he simply pressed harder.

Then S moved down and ran his fingers between my legs, teasing my clit. I squirmed a bit and moaned, but his hand kept my head pressed against the bed and prevented any sound from coming out. As he continued to tease me, my breath came in gasps through flared nostrils. It was the strangest feeling, to be lying there in the pitch dark, only yards away from our friends, with the sound of rain all around and feeling him tease me with one hand while the other kept me securely in place and silent.

S continued to play with my clit and then penetrated me with his fingers. I writhed on the bed and moaned loudly, grateful now for S's hand restricting my airway and completely muffling any sounds I made, because the last thing I wanted was to wake our friends up! S continued to tease me relentlessly, occasionally whispering in my ear to check whether I was getting close. He ordered me to nod my head when I started to cum. I tried desperately not to move too much, because every time I did, the entire camper shook a little, and I was so worried about our friends figuring out what was happening.

Finally, I felt the telltale signs and my entire body stiffened and I came. I nodded when S asked me if I was cumming and I felt his hand come down even harder against my mouth. I breathed frantically through my nostrils until my body stopped shaking and then finally relaxed. When S let go of my mouth, my jaw was stiff from him holding me down so hard. I licked my dry lips and tried to get my breathing back to normal.

"And you were worried about not being able to play while we were camping..." S's amused whisper in my ear made me giggle a little and I leaned toward him in the dark and playfully bit him in response.