Stranger Danger

Have you ever met someone in real life that you've only spoken to online up until that point?

Have you ever put yourself out there and gone some place to meet a total stranger?
What if they're a crazed killer?
What if they're some kind of freak?!!!

Millions of people have probably experienced something like this at least once: Blind dates, Match.com, eHarmony, etc. Nowadays, the experience of talking to someone online and then going out to coffee or a first date with them isn't unusual. It can be a bit nerve wracking to meet a stranger at the local coffee shop, but hey, if things don't go well, what have you really lost?

But what about the agreeing to meet someone you've known online for a year and spoken to every single night for the past six months? What about meeting someone you have shared your deepest, darkest secrets and fantasies with? Someone you have grown to love? What about meeting them in a hotel in a strange city where you will share 5 days together? Now that, my friends, is a whole different level of pressure!!!

That's what I was planning to do...

Meet a complete stranger!

In a strange city.

In a hotel.

With one bed...

Well, S. wasn't really a stranger, I guess. I mean, we had spoken most nights  for the past year, and every single night for the past several months. We knew a tremendous amount about each other. We had shared our secrets and our dreams. We had exchanged pictures. We had talked about everything and anything. But still, having never met in person up until now, I was terrified! You hear so many horror stories of what happens to women who meet strange men they've corresponded with on the internet. It really is frightening! Then, there was my shaky self esteem to deal with: I kept having visions of him being disappointed, of him mocking me, of him running away.

My original plan had been for us to meet in a place neither of us had ever gone. Neutral territory, I thought to myself: That will be much better than having S. invade my home turf in case things don't work out. I didn't want him to know exactly where I lived. It felt safer to do things far from home. We had also debated the exact location of our first encounter. I knew full well that meeting in a public location was smart. It was safe. It was the right thing to do... And I just could NOT bring myself to do it! I was SO nervous. I thought I would go insane if I had to sit in a crowded public location, literally shaking with nerves. I was afraid I might break down and cry from sheer fear and humiliate myself in public. So we agreed to meet at the hotel room. I know, I know, that was probably pretty dumb, but at the time we made the decision, I felt safe in the knowledge that S really cared about me and I felt like I knew him well enough not to be in any danger.

But boy was I having second thoughts now, standing all alone in a strange hotel room in a strange city. I felt so lost and vulnerable. Hundreds of miles from all friends and family. And S. would be here within the hour!

My eyes traveled to the single bed in the middle of the room. What the hell had I been thinking?!!! S. and I had had several long discussions about the bed issue. The hotel offered two full beds or one queen bed for the same price. I wanted the two full beds "just in case"... In case of what you might ask? Well, in case, S. decided I was repulsive and he hated me. In case, I passed out from sheer nervousness and needed a place to be revived. In case I suddenly reverted to childhood and developed a bad case of incontinence. In case S. turned out to be an ax murderer (although I'm not sure how a second bed would help in that situation lol).

S. on the other hand, wanted a single bed. He said he was confident things would go great and he wanted to be by my side every single night. He was so sweet, and so reassuring, I had agreed to go with the queen sized single bed. So yeah, there I was, staring at the one bed, wondering what I had gotten myself into.

So what do you do, when you have an hour before this strange man arrives and you're in a strange hotel room and you're terrified? I had already agonized over my outfit for weeks so there was no point in changing it now. I walked to the window and looked out. I walked to the bed. I walked back to the window. I returned to the bed. I stamped my foot and told myself to stop pacing. Then I told myself not to stamp my foot, because I was acting weird and I needed to get a grip.

Action, I told myself. I need something to do! I decided to check my hair in the mirror. My face looked pale, but my cheeks were flushed, and my eyes looked very wide, the pupils dilated. I tried to ignore the image of my own scared face staring back at me and brushed my hair for the sixteenth time instead.

Now what should I do, I wondered? I walked back to the window. I returned to the bed. No, stop! This was ridiculous! I didn't want to keep pacing like a lunatic, so I made myself sit on the edge of the bed. But I immediately started to worry about making wrinkles on the perfectly made bed, so I hurriedly got up and tried to smooth the waves I had just created on the bedspread. I wanted so much for everything to be just perfect when S. finally arrived!

Man, was it hot in here, or was it just me? I spent the next 10 minutes fiddling with the AC. Up a degree, down two degrees, up half a degree, down one, etc. I finally decided that if I had it on absolute maximum I might freeze to death but that would be infinitely better than having S. find me a sweaty mess for our first meeting. I felt like I was literally melting from nervousness! I needed something to distract me and fast!

I sat in the desk chair. At least I couldn't wrinkle that! I turned the TV on. I turned the TV off. I turned it on again. I channel surfed for about 10 seconds. Then I decided I simply couldn't sit still any more. I had to DO something. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth for the fifth time since I had arrived at the hotel half an hour ago. Halfway through this, I suddenly panicked and decided that S. had arrived and he was probably knocking on the door but I couldn't hear it over the TV and the running water. I hurried out of the bathroom, my mouth still full of toothpaste, and turned the TV off once more. Silence. I didn't hear any knocking.Then I checked the door, opening it just a crack and peering out with one eye, like a paranoid freak.Nope, nobody there, thank god!

I realized I still had my toothbrush in hand and toothpaste in my mouth. What an idiot I must look like! I went back to the bathroom and finished brushing my already sparkling clean teeth. Then I decided that I needed to brush my hair again. At this rate, I wasn't going to have any hair left by the time he arrived and I'd have worn a groove in the carpet between the bed and the window. I tried to sit down again but was assaulted by a brand new concern that I'd wrinkle my clothes. But I felt like a complete idiot standing in the middle of the room, with the AC blasting freezing air at me, doing absolutely nothing!

Let me tell you something: An hour of waiting in a hotel room in a strange city for the potential man of your dreams is a very, very, very loooooooooong time!

Finally, my phone rang!!!

My heart nearly stopped, but I managed to answer it and not pass out. "H-hello?" I said? Immediately every possible worst case scenario ran through my mind:
- His car had crashed and this was a police officer calling to inform me of his death.
- S. had decided that I was repulsive even before getting to the hotel room and was calling to let me know he was turning the car around to go back home.
- The hotel manager was calling to inform me that the hotel was on fire and I needed to evacuate immediately.
- S. was calling to tell me he had a family emergency and couldn't make it after all.
- Candid Camera was calling to tell me I was the victim of a really elaborate prank and was currently being watched live by millions of viewers, all of whom thought I was a complete idiot. 
- S. was calling to say that, upon reflection, he really wanted a blond girl, and I just wouldn't make the cut.

It's pretty amazing how many horrible things can run through your head while you are just saying the word "hello"!!!

"I'm here!" came S's familiar voice.
"HERE???!!" I squeaked! As if the concept that he was coming was complete news to me. I looked at the door in horror. "Where??!!!" I didn't see anyone. I hadn't heard a knock.
He laughed: "I'm in the elevator, on my way up!"
"OH!" I gasped, unsure if I was relieved or terrified. My brain didn't seem to be functioning normally.
If he was in the elevator, it meant I had a few more seconds before the moment of truth! But then again, not very many seconds. Oh God, oh God! What should I DO?!!!

I ran to the door of the room and threw it open. I peered down the hall. No elevator yet. Should I stand there in the hall? Should I stay in the room? Should I go to the elevator? Indecision and nerves paralyzed me.So I stood there, half in the doorway, staring down the hall with wide eyes as the lights on the top of the door light up, showing the cab was ascending.

The elevator bell dinged. Oh my God. OH GOD! This was it!!! I couldn't breathe! I was going to die! He would find me here, a mottled shade of blue, lying in the doorway of our room.

I saw the door slide open, and out stepped S. He looked down the hall and saw me standing, frozen in the hotel room doorway. He grinned, and casually walked down the hallway toward me, still holding the phone to his ear.

Something about S's big grin and relaxed manner unfroze me and I was able to finally take a deep breath. By the time he made it to the room, I wasn't in imminent danger of passing out any more. I held the door while he came in, pulling his suitcase behind him, and let it go so it shut behind us.

And then he walked right over to me. As if he'd known me forever. As if he knew we were meant to be. 

And he took my face in his hands and kissed me. A soft, gentle kiss that lasted for several seconds. At that moment, all my fears melted away. I knew everything was going to be okay!!!